Reading Week rolls around and I am already bored out of my mind by Monday night. Most of my housemates have either gone back home or are constantly out - whether that be because of visiting family, or just to enjoy the time off. Even Niall's gone - his parents have flown out from Ireland and are renting a holiday cottage for the week, so he's staying with them.I thought I would enjoy the rare peace and quiet, but it feels so lonely. My mum and Gemma are coming down on Wednesday for two days and I don't know how I'll survive Tuesday without putting my head through a wall. I did initially plan to use the time to get through my coursework and assignments, but that would obviously not help in the slightest. I can barely watch Netflix without wanting to fall asleep the whole time.
It sounds stupid, and maybe slightly crazy, but I miss Louis. He'd texted me a couple of times to apologise and tell me he's really busy with seeing everyone, but I mis seeing him, hearing his voice, even just our meaningless text conversations. I didn't think it was possible to feel like this over someone you're not even dating, but it is, it really is.
I've been debating with myself over the idea of confessing or making a move when he comes back because, honestly, I'm getting desperate at this point and just want something to happen. Even if it ends up not working out, I want the band-aid to be ripped off so that I can get over him and move on. I expect the latter of course, but also, still, have the strong fear of ruining our friendship. I don't want to make things awkward, especially because I'll have to keep seeing him during society meetings. I imagine the embarrassment of having to see him after being rejected and cringe at the thought.
Fuck it. He's never finding out. I can't do it. I'm a coward.
x
I barely get by on Tuesday, though I feel slightly better knowing I'll be busy with my family over the next few days. After that, the week would nearly be over and it would be back to the usual chaos. They arrive around midday Wednesday and I'm greeted with warm hugs and big smiles. It hits me all of a sudden how much I've missed them. I feel so fortunate to have a family I've always been close to, no matter what. We drive down to the city centre to go out for lunch together at an Italian restaurant.
'So, how has everything been, love?' Mum asks me, once we are seated with everything ordered. 'From what you've told me over the phone and text, it all seems exciting.'
'Really? He hasn't told me anything!' Gemma jokes, pretending to act serious. This is how she's always been and I love her for it, even though it can be irritating at times. She then turns to me. 'You've been here a month and already forgot about your big sister. Rudeee.'
'Shut up, Gem,' I tease back, before answering Mum. 'Yeah, everything's been really great, I'm so glad I decided to come down here. My course is enjoyable and I've met some really great people.'
I smile to myself, thinking about how Louis is one of those people. Gemma notices and gives me a look, and in an instant, I know what she's thinking - she's onto me. I shake my head at her, but she carries on smirking and staring at me. I'm so thankful when Mum speaks again, which prevents her from saying anything.
'That's so wonderful, Harry,' she says, smiling. 'I know I keep saying it, but we really are so proud of you. Everyone back home too, I've been telling them how well you've been getting on.'
I get a tight feeling in my stomach and feel slightly uneasy thinking about people back in Holmes Chapel hearing about me. The last they'd probably heard was about me being bisexual, so I dread to think what they'd all be saying or thinking whenever my name came up in conversation.
Our drinks arrive, which thankfully distracts me from my thoughts. Once the waiter leaves, Mum smiles again and continues talking.
'So how's the music and drama society going that you told me about?' she asks. Oh no. 'I'm so pleased your audition went well. Do you think you'll try out for any parts in the musical?'
YOU ARE READING
My Because || A Larry AU Story
FanficA slightly pessimistic Harry moves away to university after coming out as bisexual, in order to escape his hometown and get a new start. Intending to keep a low-profile and get through the year hassle free, he doesn't expect or want much to happen. ...