18+ thoughts that i can't share with my friends

Life Update I GUess?

Okay so this book has been a massive mess honestly but basically since this book started I got played,, got into a massively abusive relationship, got broken up with, got my first real girlfriend, split with her, got another partner, split with him, had surgery and now I'm in the only really healthy relationship of my life.

I'm actually writing this on my boyfriends computer right now cause the clickly clack of the keyboard could make me nut. But yea I've been traveling cause he lives 3 states away from me but I see him every two weeks and its the healthiest things I've ever known which is dope as fuck. Not only am I happy and healthy but got into college in this man's town and his friends are actually not toxic assholes?

Very weird though because I'm broke and he's got a nice house and shit and hasn't had days where having dinner was a question so that's a learning process? Overall pretty dope though, and THAT DICK oh MY GOD. Listen don't be afraid to fuck men who have no experience because oh my fucking lord jesus christ. Why is it always the skinny stoner/gamer boys with big dicks and good dick game? AND THE BIG DICK ENERGY POURING OFF OF THIS MAN. The type that's like yea sit on my face if you suffocate me with your thighs that's how I'm tryna go out kinda guy. Especially cause I'm a curvier person and this 6 foot tall skinny dude is like 'kill me'. AND HE'S A DRUMMER. fucking wake me up bitches I must be dreaming.

Also continuing in gruesome detail about my sex life... this man was vanilla as fuck and I made him not vanilla on accident... corruption kink unlocked???? Also accidental size kink unlocked cause he's an entire foot taller than me and I never thought I cared about that but him being so much taller is like sexy???? what????

I don't know it's weird life is getting busy and I don't have stable relationships so I'm like forgetting about this sometimes. I also didn't update much because my mom has been battling cancer since 2020 and died in february of this year and honestly I couldn't have gotten through it without clinging to these people if I'm honest. I got diagnosed with ADHD and BPD so this whole book makes a lot more sense now honestly but yea I think thats why updates are all over the place and the reason why I hyperfixate on people and forget about wattpad even existing. 

I still think about y'all kinky bitches all the time though and then I go to make and update and have ADHD brain and totally forget lmaoooooo. 

I don't know how are y'all doing? Getting good dick? Doing fun things? Having alive parents? RIIIIIP

anyway hope y'all are having a better track record of relationships but I think this mans got me :)))