How Bad Could You Really Be?

Expecting the unexpected.

I took some time to recover at my father's house. I had to go to plenty of doctor visits over the following weeks. Finally after a month of tests and therapy they cleared me to travel. I had to wait for that to go see Harold again. Right after I got cleared I called Harold. He was surprised, and happy to hear I was awake. They loved the finished product and ask that I come and approve the final copy before publishing. It would be two days working with their editors, just to make sure all parties were satisfied. I told him I could be there first thing the next morning. He said they would put me up in a nearby hotel. I started packing after I got off the phone. I picked up a shirt, it was one of Oncie's. How did he manage to get his stuff mixed in with mine? My eyes stared at a fixed point on it. It just reminded me how things used to be. And how angry I was that he changed so quickly. There was a soft knock at the door. My dad caught me staring at the shirt.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, just reminiscing."

"I tried to tell you he's changed."

"I believed you. He hasn't changed though."

"What? Did you not notice..."

"I noticed," I interjected, "I noticed he's scared. That he let something so vile consume him. And I bet if I asked him why he did it, his intentions were good. But he has a dark side, we all do. He just let his get the better of him."

"That makes absolutely no sense."

"It's okay, dad. I wouldn't be with him if there wasn't hope for him."

"Just take care of yourself."

"I will. Oh, I'll be leaving tomorrow for a few days."

"Where to?"

"To see Harold and finish this book deal."

"Does Onceler know?"

"No, and after the last timeI don't want him to know."

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Just a stupid fight."

"You know you could tell me."

"It will be fine. I'm fine, just take care of yourself."

I ran some clothes through the laundry. I collected some toiletries from the bathroom and shoved them in a pocket of the suitcase I was taking. When the laundry was done I folded it and packed it into the suitcase. I made dinner for us. My dad kept staring at me throughout the meal.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Dad, I said nothing."

"You've been distant since that day."

"Well I woke up and found out my fiancé has turned into a money hungry businessman I feel like I barely know."

"Yeah I guess that'd do it. Are you still gonna marry him?"

"I dunno."

I heaved a large sigh before picking up my plate. I dropped it in the sink and headed back upstairs. My body dragged up the stairs. Even though they said I was fine I got exhausted so quickly. When I got to my room I walked to the doors to my balcony. I pushed them open and leaned on the railing. The smoke filled the sky outside town. It made me so angry. How am I supposed to marry this guy? I wonder if his family was still leeching off his success. My face sneered as I assured myself they were. I shuddered at the thought of what Greedler did to me the other day. Even after so many showers I still felt gross. I stuck my tongue out at the thought. I turned to go inside when I felt a pair of eyes on me. Quickly, I spun expecting to see Oncie there. But there was no one. I looked around the area, but nothing moved, and nothing stood out. I huffed frustratedly and walked back inside.

I didn't sleep very well. Partially from the excitement, but mainly I couldn't stop thinking about Oncie. I took a shower and dressed in a more casual attire. They seemed really laid back there I didn't feel like I had to wear business clothes. The train was running a few minutes late. Luckily I left the house to accout for any minor delays. I hated being late to places. Once on the train the ride seemingly lasted three times longer than it really was. Maybe it was because I didn't sleep well. But I still had the feelig someone was watching me. I'd really started to lose my mind. No one really knows me who would follow some random girl. Finally I got to my stop. A car was waiting to pick me up. It was just one of the editors there, but it was really nice of him to do that. His name was Travis. He just started recently so he got the 'lackey' jobs. But he also really liked my book. Apparently he stole a glance at my transcript while his boss was out.

"I just couldn't put it down. It was...wow!" he gushed.

"Haha, I've never really thought much of my writing," I said.

"Well, you're amazing. Uh, the writing, not you. I mean..."

I couldn't help but burst out laughing. He apologized multiple times. But it reminded me of the way Oncie used to be. Behind my smile my heart broke thinking things may never be the same with Oncie again. We arrived a few minutes later. Harold met us outside and gave me a giant hug. I wasn't expecting that. We headed into the office to get to work. Most of the changes were fine. There was one place we butted heads, but thanks to Travis, we found a compromise. It was getting late into the night when we decided to call it a night. Travis gave me a ride to the hotel. It was close enough to his house. I noticed there was a bar inside.

"I could use a drink about now," he said.

"I don't really drink, but I could use one myself."

"Are you allowed to drink?"

"I'm old enough."

"No, I mean we heard about your accident."

"Oh, well they say I'm fine. I assume that means a drink too."

I checked in. The front desk person gave me a key and offered to have my bags taken to the room. I agreed and headed into the bar with Travis. We started off with just one drink. But got so lost in conversation that we had barely realized how long we were there. For not drinking very much I kind of over did it. Travis helped me upstairs. I wasn't falling over or anything. I just couldn't stand the feeling. We got to the room and I thanked him. He leaned toward me. He was about to kiss me, but I shuffled away.

"I-I'm sorry, If I made you think...it's just, I'm kind of engaged," I said.

"Oh," he blushed, "I feel stupid."

"No, don't I mean. If I wasn't maybe. Good night!"

I rushed inside the room. I fell asleep almost instantly. The next morning I woke up feeling fairly well. I walked to the office and met with everyone. No one had heard from Travis. Some even assumed we spent the night together, but maybe he was sick. We finished in the afternoon. The last bits of business were finished and I could go back home. I was on my way to the hotel to grab the last of my things. When I walked past a pharmacy something struck my mind. I looked at the calendar in one of my notebooks. After doing the math, my heart sunk, I was late. I'm pretty sure it might be crazy, after all it wasn't that bad. And these things have variation, don't they? I panicked and rushed inside. I had to be sure, because I don't think my birth control was something they'd prioritize in the medications they were giving me. I grabbed the bag and ran to the hotel. My body rushed into the elevator. I couldn't stop my heart from racing. I hadn't even considered that after what happened. What the hell was wrong with me? I ran into the room and locked myself in the bathroom. The directions were simple enough. Step one, go to he bathroom on this stick. Step two, wait a few moments that feel like an eternity. Step three, decipher the damned stripes. I stared at the box, then the test. The stripes darkened and I compared it to the back of the box.

"Fuck," I muttered.