Oh! A baby! (Ichirukia)

Chapter 4

"What are you thinking, Kisuke?" Yoruichi asked, watching as Urahara lifted Ichiro's shirt in hopes of finding something unusual.

"Well, it seems he's not a Hollow." Urahara hummed to himself as he finished checking the rest of Ichiro's body. "I was kind of hoping that he was. There goes that hypothesis."

"What are the other ones?"

Urahara thought for a second, checking his mental list. "Spy. Alien. Maybe a ninja."

Yoruichi snorted. The sad thing was that he was probably serious. "What is this, a manga?"

Urahara smiled. "Oooh," he said to Ichiro, who looked up at him with big eyes, "kitty can bite."

"Five Hollows," Matsumoto groaned as they returned to Urahara Shoten. "I think I need a drink."

They all slipped back into their bodies and sat back down at the table where Urahara, Yoruichi, and the baby waited silently.

"You're a fukutaicho, a couple of second-rate Hollows shouldn't be so hard," Ichigo grunted in response, "and should you really be drinking when you're supposed to be on duty?"

"Taicho and I have the day off," she said nonchalantly. She looked expectantly at Urahara. "Do you still have that sake?"

Ichigo's forehead was furrowed in confusion. "Why are you here, then? I thought you said you had a job or something."

Rukia rolled her eyes. Here we go.

"Taicho wanted to visit Karin-chan." Matsumoto knew exactly what she was setting into motion, and she was enjoying every second of it.

Rukia was startled when Ichigo continued to look completely in control. It was as if Matsumoto had remarked on the weather. "He told you that?" he asked, seemingly sane.

Matsumoto laughed. "Of course not. It was insanely obvious."

He looked at her with a straight face. "I am going to murder him," he said pleasantly.

"That's nothing compared to what Byakuya-kun's going to do to you," Yoruichi said suddenly. All eyes turned to her. She held Ichiro, who for some reason had Urahara's hat on his head. It was way too big, and it obscured his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked.

"Yeah, what about Nii-sama?" Rukia added worriedly.

"Well," said Urahara, seemingly wearing one of his spare hats, "we did some tests, and it seems that this little tyke is biologically your son."

Ichigo stared at Urahara like he suddenly had three heads, and Rukia couldn't understand what was going on. Matsumoto was in awe. "This is better than my soaps!" she squealed, wishing she had something to snack on.

Urahara continued his story, talking about this machine and that machine, basically spouting scientific mumbo jumbo that no one understood, although Matsumoto nodded as if she did. In the end, when everyone stared at Urahara stupidly, Yoruichi said, "He basically did a DNA test, and you both are perfect matches."

"How-how-how..." Rukia stuttered, her brain scrambling for an explanation. "I mean I was never ... we never ..."

Ichigo just looked at the table, not saying anything.

"I knew it!" Matsumoto pounded her fist on the table. "I knew there was more to your relationship! Just wait until I tell Nanao-she owes me 1000 yen..."

"Ichigo, you asshole!" Rukia seethed, suddenly angry. She seemed to have forgotten about Ichiro's "young ears". "You knocked me up!"

Ichigo didn't seem to notice Rukia's colorful choice of vocabulary. "He's going to bankai my ass," he huffed. "Do you know how ridiculously stupid it is to be killed by flower petals?"

"Very," Matsumoto chimed in.

"Congratulations!" Urahara sang, giving Ichigo his...ahem...son. "You have a bouncing baby boy!"

Suddenly, Renji appeared from the guest room. "I'm trying to sleep here!" he yelled, glaring at everyone in the room. After seeing Ichigo holding Ichiro, however, he was wide awake. "Wait-what did I miss?"

Ichigo stepped out of the shower, droplets of water clinging to his hair. He had spent a long time just standing under the stream of water, contemplating his current situation. In only a matter of days, he was suddenly thrust into fatherhood, and Ichigo wasn't really sure how he felt about it. On one hand, he was only seventeen. How the hell was he supposed to raise a kid? On the other hand, deep down he had known that Ichiro was theirs, and he had accepted it.

Distractedly, he threw on a pair of pajama bottoms and a t-shirt and headed towards his room, physically and mentally tired. All he really wanted was to sink into his bed, but he stopped in his tracks when he found Rukia in it.

She was sleeping, Ichiro curled up next to her. Ichigo stared stupidly for minute, then sighed and decided not to move them. He was too tired to argue with the hysterical voice in his head, and Rukia and the baby hardly took up any space anyway, so he turned out the light and climbed into the bed without a second thought. Hell, it was his bed.

It was only then that he began to feel the awkwardness of the situation. He nervously peered over at Rukia, who was sleeping facing him. Her eyes were closed, and she had a hand over the sleeping baby between them.

Ichigo swallowed hard, quickly shutting his eyes before the voice in his head convinced him to sleep in the hallway. Or on the couch. Or maybe at Chad's house. Holy shit, Rukia was in his bed. With him. Surely this was the kind of behavior that left them with a kid in the first place.

"Ichigo?"

Ichigo nearly fell out of his bed, he was so surprised. Rukia, apparently not asleep, was peering at him through the darkness. "I'm...I'm sorry, Ichigo."

"What for?" he asked, trying to calm his racing heart.

She seemed really distressed for a second, as if she was repulsed by herself. Rukia averted her eyes. "Well," she said, slightly quieter than before, "now you're stuck with me."

Ichigo sat up, thoroughly confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about this baby!" she hissed, suddenly pissed off and sitting up too. "What about him?" Ichigo hissed back, his confusion causing his temper to flair.

"He's bound you to me forever. Sorry you didn't have a choice." She started to turn away from him.

Ichigo grabbed her shoulders roughly, forcing her to look at him. "Who says I wouldn't choose you?" he barked at her, looking at her so intensely that she involuntarily shrunk back a little.

Rukia was silent, absorbing Ichigo's words. Suddenly, realizing what he just said, Ichigo ripped his hands off of her shoulders. He coughed awkwardly. "I mean...uh...good night," he said quickly, thoroughly embarrassed and thankful his blush couldn't be seen in the dark.

"Yes, good night," Rukia answered, equally embarrassed. They both laid back down, facing opposite directions and mentally kicking themselves.