Oh! A baby! (Ichirukia)

Chapter 3

"I think it moved," Rukia whispered, peeking through her fingers.

"Rukia, it's just baby shit." Ichigo smirked, putting the new diaper on securely and throwing the old one away.

"Young ears," she reminded, but looked up at him in wonder. "How do you know how to do all of this?"

"I helped to take care of my sisters," he said simply, then lifted up Ichiro. "There you go, little man. All clean."

"Clee?" Ichiro asked.

Ichigo ruffled his hair affectionately. "Yes, clean. Come on, I think it's time for lunch." He began to walk into the kitchen.

Rukia watched the whole thing, a smile on her face. Ichigo would be a good father.

She followed into the kitchen. She was going to ask what was for lunch, but stopped when she saw Ichigo looking in the opposite direction.

There, in the Kurosaki kitchen, stood Matsumoto Rangiku and Hitsugaya Toshiro.

"How'd you get in my house?" Ichigo demanded.

"Where'd you get that baby?" Matsumoto countered.

Ichigo looked like a dying fish, his mouth gaping, but no words coming out. Matsumoto laughed. "I'm just kidding! I know all about this cute little thing!" She rushed to take Ichiro, and once he was in her arms, he patted her enormous breasts. She laughed again. "Well he seems to know what those are!"

"How do you guys know?" Ichigo demanded, his voice finally returning. No one answered. Matsumoto giggled at Ichiro's antics and Hitsugaya watched with his stoic stare. "Hey! Toshiro!"

"It's Hitsugaya-taicho," Hitsugaya said angrily, his silence broken.

Ichigo seemed to ignore him. "Rangiku-san?"

"There's no milk in there," Matsumoto told Ichiro, who still seemed fascinated with her breasts. "Possibly some money. Do you like money?"

"I have important business here," Hitsugaya finally told him. "We ran into your friend Sado."

"Seems you put that outfit I bought you to good use," Matsumoto said, winking at Rukia.

"What outfit?" Ichigo asked, perplexed.

Rukia turned beet red. That horrible gift she had given her, the one that had made her so embarrassed, she couldn't even return it for risk of humiliation. Let's just say there was hardly any outfit to that outfit. She ended up setting it on fire, and she tried flushing it down the toilet when the flames seemed to get out of control. It clogged the toilet for a week, but that's an entirely different story.

"It doesn't matter. I returned it," she stressed to Matsumoto.

Matsumoto pouted. "Well, I bought this little guy some outfits too. I couldn't help myself, they were so cute. Don't worry, I have the receipt in case you want to return those too." Matsumoto set Ichiro on the floor and began rooting through the many bags she had brought with her.

"What's your business here, Toshiro?" Ichigo asked, yawning. Ichiro began crawling around the room.

"Hitsugaya-taicho," he replied, annoyed.

Matsumoto was still looking for the receipt. "Taicho, do you know where I put it?"

He sighed. "I don't know. Where you usually put things?"

Matsumoto thought for a second, then reached deep in her cleavage. When the receipt was received, she handed it to Rukia, who took it without a second thought. Sadly, she was used to this kind of behavior from Matsumoto.