Beautiful Girl

Thirty Three

I have perfected the art of passing by your college without stopping my car and just sitting there by the side of the road for long agonizing minutes.
Sometimes, I think of just going inside and asking for you. I wonder if you would come.
I was watching "Kingsmen" yesterday and I called out to you because Colin Firth was kicking ass on screen and you...go crazy over him. It took me a moment to remember that you don't live with me anymore.
Do you remember me? Or have you trained your brain to think like we didn't happen?
I hurt beneath my skin all the time. The people who say that time takes away the pain, they lie.
It's been four months, and yet it feels as if it was yesterday when you walked out of my life...

*

"Why is your footwork still a mess, freshie bird?" Raghav Boss demands as he lunges at her, fists flying at her face. She barely manages to duck at the last moment, still a little stiff.
"It's fun, is it not?" He asks as he offers his hand and she grabs it to stand up, panting like she has run miles.
He wordlessly offers her the water bottle and it's after she takes a couple of gulps when she realizes that she hasn't thought about that asshole at all today.
Not once.
It's progress, right?
"Again," she calls out as she takes the stance and he smiles at her when he leans back to assume his pose.
These Krav Maga lessons are fun...

*

Her nebulous peace shatters one day when she's coming back after one such lesson, a smoothie in her hand and Raghav Boss going a mile a minute about the new season of Boku No Hero Academia.
She has grown comfortable, she chastises herself when they finally come into view, the demons of her past standing en masse outside the gates of AIIMS.
For a moment, she wants to turn and walk back, get lost in the crowd and come back only when they have gone, these shameless, vile people.
But how long will she run?
She might manage to lose them today, tomorrow or the next ten times they come searching for her, but will she able to do so all the time?
And why should she run?
What has she done that she needs to run away?
She is here on her own merits. She is living on her own earnings. Why should she be the one to run away?
She continues ahead and is a little startled when Raghav Boss slips his hand into hers.
This is new...this hand holding.
They spot her within seconds.
Shashi and Garima have identical frowns on their faces whereas Buaji's mouth is a moue of displeasure. Shyam is scowling like there's no tomorrow, his gaze dropping onto her hand that's in Raghav Boss's grip.
"Family?" Raghav Boss prompts as the party of four makes its way to her. She scoffs in reply.
Her family is dead.
These people are parasites and hanger on's, nothing more than that.
"Pati ko ghar pe bitha ke yahan gulchaare uda rhi ho?" Garima remarks snidely and Buaji huffs in support.
"Main sati savitri Banu ya gulchhare udaun, aap logon se matlab!"
"Hai re Nandkishore! Lakshan dekho is ladki ke. Payaliya thik hi keh rahi, isko yahan rakhna thik nahi hai. Dekho kaise kapde pahan rakhe hain."
That creepy Shyam gives her a once over and she shrugs off Raghav Boss's hold to push out her chest a little, to show off the sweat gleaming on her abs through the open sweatshirt.
"Tu aankhe sek le thik se," she taunts him leisurely as she pushes her hands into pockets of her trousers.
He turns his head away.
"Payaliya keh rahi ki ye Arnav babu se shaddi Wali baat jhutti hai? Are u to Wo Lavanya Bitiya se sagaai kr rahe hain is hafte," Buaji says smugly as if it's her personal achievement.
It doesn't hurt, she tells herself, to know that it took him mere four months to move on with his life.
"Shaadi Wali baat Jake Arnav se hi punch lo, aur agar ye drama Khatam ho gya ho to please get lost. You guys are wasting my time," she imparts pleasantly.
"Is this the way you talk to family?" Sashi Gupta barks and she rounds at him as if hit.
"You're not my family," she hisses at him. "You never were. All you people did was steal from me. You took everything that was mine and tried to hitch me up with this nashedi asshole. And you call yourself family? Fucktards!"
He raises his hand to slap her, but she grabs it before his palm could touch her cheek.
"Who's the one crossing his line now? Aaye Kyun yahaan aap log? Mujhe ghasit ke wapas le jaane?"
"You're our-"
"I am your nothing," she spits as she drops Sashi Gupta's hand.
"Jyada nautanki na Karo ladki. Chupchap hamare saath chal lo. Do hafte mein tumhara Shyam se shaddi ka muhurat hai."
These people are bonkers.
They have lost it.
She starts laughing.
Shyam moves to tackle her but she pulls up her fists. "Try me, bitch," she snarls. "I will break your balls."
They have garnered an audience. People are whispering among themselves on the fringes on her awareness, but she's too high on adrenaline to notice.
It's the sound of a vehicle coming to stop nearby and Raghav Boss's tap on her shoulder that breaks her single minded focus.
"Cavalry is here, Freshie," He tells her gently as he takes her hands in his, rubbing back the warmth in skin that is ice cold from fury and fear.
"Jo karna hai kr lo. I will die before I let you all take me back," she turns and screams at the assembled parasitic assholes.
Raghav Boss ends up dragging her back when she makes efforts to escape his hold and lunge towards Shyam who is nearest.
"Raghvendra."
It makes her turn, that imposing low baritone.
The man who stands behind Raghav Boss is...a goddamned hunk.
Fuck, his muscles have muscles.
Her cheeks feel warm and she lowers her head immediately. She's not going to raise her head and look at him. She will probably end up making a fool of herself.
"Bhaiya!" Raghav Boss chirps. "These people are troubling Freshie. Do something about them, will you?"
The man sighs and Khushi steals another glance from beneath her lashes.
He's handsome. The kind that makes you pause and appreciate them for a while.
She's not broken, she thinks as a sob builds up inside her.
That asshole isn't the only man she has found attractive in eighteen years of her existence.
He might have been the first, but he isn't the only.
Was he wrong then? A faithless whore, something insidious whispers in her head. She ends up resting her forehead against Raghav Boss's front.
"Haan bhai, what's going on here? Kyon pareshan kr rhe ho ladki ko?" The man asks Gupta & Co.
"Can we go, Boss?" She whispers, tired to her very bones.
"Bhaiya, make sure to sort this out, okay? I am taking my Freshie back to hostel."
"Brat," the man calls out affectionately as they're walking by. "Meet me when I am done here. We haven't dined together in ages."
They are walking slowly towards her hostel when she turns to him. "That was your brother?"
"Hmm."
"He's handsome," she mutters and he laughs...

*

The moon is a silver platter in the sky and she's drunk.
Raghav Boss came back from his dinner with her dinner and a bottle of vodka.
"He's marrying that girl!" She slurs as she tells Raghav Boss who is sitting beside her on the floor, sober sad eyes resting on her face.
"He's..."
"Give me the bottle, Freshie. You have had enough." He coaxes softly. She pulls the bottle against her body, trying to hide it from his grabby hands.
"I hugged a boy, and I was branded a slut. Couldn't tell him that I loved him and I was reminded that he had left behind everything for me," she hiccups, hot tears on her cheeks.
"Oh, Freshie..."
"Did I tell you that that Shyam tried to touch me?"
"No, baby bird."
"Arnav...I had no one but Arnav..." She says softly to herself.
"I should have told him I loved him. But people I love....they all leave me behind, Mama."
He hugs her, warm skin and the sandalwood smell of his aftershave that makes her giggle.
"You have got Mama, Freshie. I am not leaving you behind. Never."
"Everyone says that," she tells him. "They lie."
"I am gonna show you that I am different?  One day at a time."
"Okay."
"Now, let's get you in the bed. You're gonna have a nasty hangover in the morning, baby bird."
"Hmm."
"And I need to sneak out covertly from your room lest the rumors of our relationship start doing rounds which is gross."
"Hmm."
He sits by her bedside for a while, fingers gently carding through her hair.
"Good night, baby bird," He whispers softly when the sound of her soft snores is all that is left between them...

*

I am sorry, Khushi. I didn't know that Guptas will go searching for you at your college.
I had forgotten in my ennui about the kind of people that  surround me.
The rumors of our marriage being a sham...I am sorry I gave people a chance to speculate.
Did they say anything to you?
They told me, quite gleefully, that you've found yourself someone new.
Brother of a Central Minister.
The Guptas were miffed about the visit from the said Minister and his warning.
I told them I will have them thrown out of their house if they seek you out again.
I have the notices safe in my drawer as I write.
How are you?
Are you eating well? Sleeping properly?
How are you managing your expenses?
I want to post you the debit card, but I know you will probably end up breaking it, or sending it back to me.
I am thinking about donating to AIIMS. They will let me establish a scholarship fund if I give them enough money for a building, won't they?
I was reading your letter again.
I have lost count of the times I have done so.
Oh, Khushi. You loved me, didnt you?
You wrote in your letter that everyone you love leaves you behind. I...
Can't I go back, Khushi?
I want to.
I dream of it.
I dream of you.
Of your smell on my sheets.
Of your kiss upon my lips.
Of your laughter in our home.
I am sorry. I am so sorry.
I kept telling you that I loved you. Like repeating it over and over again would somehow elevate my feelings over how you felt about me.
What kind of fool was I, Khushi?
It's easy to proclaim your love, harder to be faithful to it.
You were. You were faithful to the emotion you couldn't put into words from fear that I would abandon you.
You were faithful to a man who turned his face away from the vows of his love at the first sign of trouble.
You deserve someone who would make you the centre of their universe. Not out of guilt, or a misplaced sense of reparation, but because they love you.
I am sorry I wasn't that man.
I am so sorry, Khushi....

Damn, it took a really long time to perfect this chapter. I am sorry for the delay. And no, Arnav is not marrying Lavanya.
I am working on another Arshi story which also contributed a little in the delay in posting this chapter along with the fuck doodle that is life.
Guys, thank you for all the comments. They make my day. The fact that y'all are reading this story and liking it enough to vote and comment is huge.
This author note took me fifteen minutes because I am a dumbass introvert and I genuinely struggle with articulating my thoughts if it is not for a story.
So, please keep reading, voting and commenting.
Stay safe and loads of love to all of you...