The Promise

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

November 1943
Auschwitz, Poland

It has taken him such a long time to muster the courage to enter the little office where he knew Ruth was.
Somehow those four years at the front hadn't been as scary as walking through that door now was.

Of course he wanted to go inside, he'd planned this meeting so carefully as to be free of any suspicion, but now that the moment of truth had come he found himself unable to enter.

What if she didn't want to see him? What if she hated him? She had every reason to. It was bad enough that he was in the German militia, but to be an SS officer on top of it all. Except for maybe the Gestapo, the SS were probably the ones she hated the most.

He would have smoked, except he held the door handle with one hand and a cup in the other.

"Come on, Erik, just go inside." Taking a deep breath Erik pushed the door open and entered the room. Ruth was on the floor, crouched by one of the legs of the desk. Shoulders hunched over, hands clasped together, her eyes fixed on the floor, she gave every impression of the abused and mistreated victim of war she was.

Erik surveyed the scene for a few seconds, wondering how best to go about the whole thing. Ruth never lifted her gaze, she sat motionless, obviously terrified. At last Erik walked over and set the cup on the table. Her fear made him reserved and despite the urge to just gather her up in his arms he forced himself to remain calm. It wasn't just about him. He had to make sure Ruth was comfortable as well. So he knelt down and reached for her hands. This, he felt, was a safe start.

The moment his hands touched hers she jerked her head up and their eyes met.
"Erik!" She gasped out. It was quite clear he was the last person she'd expected to see.

He put a finger to his lips, motioning for her to keep her voice low. Even though they were alone in the room there were other officers and guards in the building. She nodded in understanding. For a few awkward seconds they stared at each other then Erik haltingly reached and took his wife into his arms.

Ruth seemed to just melt into his embrace. She also put her arms around his neck and clung to him as though her life depended on it.

"I was so afraid, so afraid you'd died on the front," she whispered into his ear. "But now you're here, I can survive anything they put me through as long as you're here."

These words were too much for Erik. He buried his head into her thin shoulder and broke into quiet sobs. She stroked his hair.

"It's alright, you can cry. Weep for me, Erik, pity me, for no one else in this camp will."

They sat in this manner for some time until at last Ruth spoke again. "Say something, Erik, please. I haven't heard your voice in so long."

She wanted him to speak, but what was he supposed to say? What could he say?

"I'm sorry," he breathed out at last. "I'm so sorry. I hate the fact that you're here...I had hoped...when I heard Holland had surrendered I'd hoped you would have somehow managed to get out...or hide...somehow I never dreamed...never imagined..."

"But you found me, Erik, that's the main thing. And I know you'll..."

He cut her off with a shake of his head. "Walls have ears," he whispered. "Of course I will, as soon as I can. There is no way I'd let you remain here. But we don't dare talk about it. God forbid someone overhears something."

He had calmed down a little now and pulled away to get a better look at her.
"A day didn't go by that I didn't think of you," he earnestly whispered. "All those long days and night of gunshots and explosions and men shouting and moaning and dying all around me, the thought of you kept me going. Everyone wonders how I made it this far, how I managed to survive when so many others didn't. It was only thanks to you. If not you, I'd have been dead long ago. I knew somewhere my Ruth, my brave wife Ruth, was waiting for me and I couldn't let her down. I had to get back no matter what."

Ruth's eyes sparkled from his words and she gripped his hands tightly. "I knew, I just knew Sara was wrong!"

"Sara? What did she say?"

"Oh she kept going on and on about how the most I could expect from you was pity for old friendship's sake, but that any hope of...well...anything else was not possible. She said there were so many other pretty girls out there and you wouldn't care for me because of the situation we are now in and also because..." her voice dropped to barely audible, "of my altered looks."

Erik kissed her chapped, thin hands. "I never cared about looks or situations or whatever else. I loved, I love, and I will always love you and only you. There's never been nor will there ever be anyone else." He spoke the words earnestly and he could see she didn't doubt him. Her eyes became watery and a smile spread on her face. Leaning over she gave him a soft, quick kiss.

But Erik wasn't going to let her go so easily. "Four years and that's all I get?" He protested as he pulled her closer to him and returned the kiss with one of his own, save his was deeper, longer and with considerable more passion.

"Just like in the moving pictures," Ruth said with a reminiscent laugh once she has caught her breath. There was a moment's pause as she gazed at him intently.

"What is it?" He asked at last.

"How many of those things do you smoke?"

"Oh...uh..." he scratched the back of his neck, wondering of all things why she would be so worried about that. "I don't know. I don't count. I know I never used to back then, but it's become something of a habit now."

She was unhappy with this answer. He could tell by the deep frown that appeared on her face. "I wish you wouldn't, Erik, it can't be good for your health to breathe in smoke. Just think what it must be doing to your lungs?"

"Ruth, you're being starved, abused and worked to death and you're still worried about my health?"

"Naturally. How will you look after me and nurse me back to health if you're sick yourself. I need you to be fit as a fiddle for my sake. In all this I'm really thinking of me."

Erik blinked at her in disbelief for a few seconds then, despite himself, he let out a chuckle. "Oh Ruth, Ruth, my darling Ruth, you haven't changed, have you? They haven't broken your spirit yet. How glad I am of that."

She reached over and stroked his cheek. "You have a beautiful smile, Erik, yet this is the first time you've used it since I've seen you."

"There so little to smile about these days." Erik replied with a sigh. "You're really the only reason for me to smile. Sometimes I wonder how humanity has sunk so low. I never thought, all those years I spent at the front, that this is what I was fighting for. If I had known..." Erik's voice drifted away. There was no use saying anything, it wouldn't change any of the facts."

"You mentioned Sara," He decided to change the subject. "She's here then?"

"Her and Susi, the rest were killed." Her voice shook and he pulled her closer to him.

"I'm sorry. How long ago did you...did they bring you here?"

"I'm not sure exactly, I've sort of lost track of time. We were in hiding in Amsterdam but they discovered us in June and brought us straight here."

"So about five months then."

"I can't leave without them, Erik," Ruth suddenly dared to whisper. "They are all the family I have left. I know what you want for me, is there any way to make it possible for them too?"

"It will be considerably harder."

"But I can't leave them, I just can't. If they can't go I'll stay."

Erik opened his mouth but Ruth set her lips in a firm line, her eyes determined and she gave a resolute shake of her head. So he shut his mouth, knowing it was pointless to argue. His Ruth was loyal and stubborn. No reasonable, logical argument from him would change her mind.

"I'll try," He said at last as he gripped her hand. "I'll try."

"Do you think it's even possible?" She looked up at him.

Erik could only shrug. "Either we do it, or we die trying. One thing I can promise you, Ruth, is whatever happens I won't leave here without you. It is a miracle I found you, and I won't lose you again!"