Every Lie that We Tell ✔

First Lie

Seokjin

1st Lie: I am not in love with my best friend

The teacher calls my name again trying to get my attention, I turn to look at him, "sorry sir." "Pay attention Kim or I'll make sure you don't play tonight", he threatens. My focus just isn't with school or basketball anymore, for the past two years I have been a shell of my former self, just a zombie who looks like me and talks like me but isn't really me. 

A person can't survive without a soul, at least not happily, and my soul was ripped away one drunken night, two years ago at my best friend's house. I turn to look at him, and he is glaring at me with such hatred in his eyes that it hurts to my core. I look away, trying to concentrate on class, I have a game tonight and don't need coach pissed at me for getting in trouble in class.

Jungkook and I have known each other literally our whole lives, we have been neighbors since our parents brought us home from the hospital 17 years ago, he is only 3 months older than me but he has always acted like he needs to protect me, yet he is the first to kick my ass when we fight, we fight like cats and dogs but always make up afterward and then act like nothing happened.

We would lay on the bed, cuddled up to each other talking about how we couldnt wait till we were older and could move far away from everyone, Jungkook would run his fingers thru my hair, it helped him relax and that is how he would fall asleep every time with his fingers wrapped in my hair.

We have always been each others safe place whenever we got in trouble or someone tried to hurt us, Jungkook's dad is verbally abusive, ugly words and even uglier threats, my dad on the other hand is physically abusive, not caring that he leaves bruises and cuts on me every chance he gets, we hate our parents but have to play along with their bullshit until after we graduate or they won't pay for college.

And now Jungkook hates me, I dont have my ally, my brother, he hurts me everyday and my heart shatters every time I see his hateful looks or hear his cruel words, I am in love with him and he hates me for it. All the memories we shared mean nothing now because those times are in the past, and our friendship is over.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I am sitting in the student lounge during lunch, studying for a test I have later today when I hear giggling, fuck I know exactly who that is, Miranda, Jungkook's mean as a snake girlfriend. He doesn't love her, she is unlovable, I watch them as they kiss and there is nothing behind it, he is just going thru the motions, I've known him for 17 years and I know him better than he knows himself.

She looks at me, and I look away, not wanting to feel her wrath, when Jungkook's attention isn't all about her she will make anyone around her suffer. I feel his icy stare bore into me, I keep my eyes on my book because if I look at him he will know what I am thinking and that would be very bad. 

Two years I have been without my best friend, two years ago in his basement he punched me so hard that he fractured my cheekbone and almost broke his hand, we haven't spoken since, all I get are glares and hate spewed at me every chance he gets and his disgusting girlfriend is no better. "Why are you looking at my girlfriend, I thought you liked guys", he whispers in my ear, "you jealous she gets to see my dick and you don't." 

Anger burns in my chest and I try everything to keep the tears at bay, "go fuck yourself Jungkook, you've never heard me say I like guys because I've never said it", I retort. "When you going to admit it", he says driving the knife into my heart a little farther. "I'm not, god your a fucking idiot", I grab my books and walk out. He follows me into the empty hallway, "I'm the idiot, really, at least I'm truthful about myself, unlike you."

 I spin on him, "you are a fucking idiot, I don't like guys Jungkook, I like you." I turn back around and walk away. He grabs my arm and pulls me back, "I'd rather fuck myself then let you do it, you're gay, I'm not and you disgust me." I push him backward out of my way and walk past him, "you are such an asshole."

Jungkook

I watch as he gets hollered at again by the teacher for not paying attention, he has changed a lot, he isn't the same Seokjin that I grew up with, his little stunt in my basement drove us apart and I will never forgive him for ruining our friendship. I don't know how I didn't see it, we have spent our whole lives together and I never once picked up on his intentions, now I look at him with disgust in my eyes and I know he sees it, because I see the sadness in his.

Seeing him everyday kills me, going from friendship to enemies has been the hardest thing to deal and without my best friend by my side dealing with my father has been tough, what an asshole he is, but that's a different story for another time. For the past two years all I have done is torment my ex best friend and if I am not tormenting him I am completely ignoring him, I shove my relationship with my girlfriend in his face every chance I get, the bad part is I don't even like her, she is a cool chick but I am definitely not in love with her.

I see Jin walking with the rest of the basketball team and he laughs and plays along but his smile isn't genuine, I know what his real smile looks like and that isn't it. Seokjin is the jock, the popular good boy, everybody's favorite, unlike his best friend Jungkook who's the spoiled, trouble maker, I'm used to it, I love being the bad boy to Jin's good boy persona, we work well that way but why do they have to keep touching him like that, do jocks always have to touch each other. 

Miranda pulls me to her and shoves her tongue down my throat in the middle of the classroom, no one cares because this is normal for us, I push her away from me annoyed, "cut it out, I am not in the mood." When I look over I see Jin looking away quickly. I smirk and walk over to him leaning on his desk, "what's the matter Jin, jealous you can't kiss me like that." 

He glares at me, "shut the fuck up Jungkook, I am not jealous of trash." He packs his books up and storms out of the room not looking back at me, "trash, who are you calling trash." I wanted him to look at me because no matter how mean or cruel I am, no matter what hurtful words come out of my mouth I still see something in his eyes and it's something that not only confuses me but makes me miss him so much more.