Back in the Saddle

First Fight

Nick's POV:

"That can wait. Right now we should make sure that you're okay."

I look over my shoulder to see Clay coming up to us. "Clay, will you go get me a first aid kit, please? Me and Karl will be back in a little bit and I want to be able to get cleaned up when we do."

"Uh, sure. Are you sure you're good, though? That wipeout looked brutal."

"I'm fine."

I jump over the fence, wincing slightly at the pain in my arms but hiding it from Karl, and take his hand. I guide him towards the bench that we sat on the first day we met, after I saved him from that bull. Coincidentally, it was the same bull that just sent me flying five feet in the air.

We sit down and I look at him, wanting him to start the conversation. I'm just hoping that he won't say something about how dumb it is that I'm 'risking my life' for this competition, becasue I've had plenty of that lecturing already from my friends and moms and I'm really not interesting in receiving more from my boyfriend. But, based on his reaction, I'm fairly confident that he will be doing something of the sort.

"Nick, you... care about me, right?"

"Of course I do," I answer, feeling a little taken aback by this question. "Why?"

"So, if I asked you to do something for me, strictly for my own health, you would do it, right?"

"Um, yes?" I reply, hoping that I'm telling him what he wants to hear.

"Well then, please don't hate me for what I'm about to ask you." He pauses, gauging my reaction carefully before continuing. I feel my heart rate pick up a little at that sentence; it goes all the way down to the burns on my arms, throbbing on beat with my breathing. "I'm begging you not to do this competition. Please, Nick."

"Karl, I'll be fine. I don't know what Clay told you, but it's going to be alright. You don't have to worry."

"Nick, I-" he cuts himself off, seeming to think over what he's about to say. "I'm asking you not to do this. I can't support this. You literally just got hurt! How can you say that I don't have to worry?"

"Because I'm not an idiot. What just happened was an accident caused by my own stupidity and my lack of attention, and nothing like it has happened in months! I'm telling you there's nothing to worry about with this competition because it's the truth. Why is it so important to you that I don't do this competition?"

"Hm, I don't know, maybe because you're my boyfriend?" he scoffs. "And I care about you. And I don't want to see you get hurt when you can avoid it."

"I'm telling you that it's going to be fine. Why don't you believe me? Do you not trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, but this isn't something you can promise! You could try your hardest to not get hurt, and then one slip up, one weak moment, and you could break your neck! The only way to make sure that nothing happens to you is to just not do it. Why are you fighting this so hard? Everyone has told you that it's a bad idea, yet you continue to be stubborn."

"I want to prove to everyone that I can do this, and I will do it! I get that you care about me and that you're scared, but the only person who really has something to fear is me, because it's my life, and I'm fine! So why is this issue so pressing to you?!"

He stops dead in his tracks and just stares at me, as if I'm an idiot. He wouldn't be wrong. I am an idiot. Why would I say that? Of course it would matter to him if I got hurt. But I still can't give up on this competition: I've put far too much at stake to simply drop out with no explanation other than 'they told me not to.'

"'The only person who really has something to fear is me'? Really, Nick?" he says in an incredulous tone. "You don't think literally everyone of your friends, your parents, I would be upset if you got hurt?"

"I can't just back out of this competition because there's a chance something bad might happen! If I did that, then I wouldn't do anything, Karl! There's always the possibility of getting hurt, yet we still do everything as if there wasn't a care in the world for anything. I can't back out. I won't."

"There's so much more of a risk in bull riding and you know it. And you may refuse to back out, but I can tell you right now that if you compete, I will never forgive you for it."

With that last sentence, he gets up and walks away, leaving me to stare after him, wondering what just happened. By the time I process what he just threatened, he's too far away for me to go after him and beg him to let me to this competition. What did I do? What have I done? Why is he this upset?

Then it hits me. He doesn't know that I know this, but I do. His fiance died. Now I feel like the biggest asshole in the world because I completely disregarded the fact that he's still grieving from that, and now has the fear of me getting hurt. Even though I can't leave the competition, I should've tried to comfort him or understand why he's so concerned instead of getting so defensive.

And now it's too late, and I probably won't have the time to make things right and explain my situation to him before the competition. I'm literally such an idiot.

===

I walk defeatedly over to where Alex and Clay are talking in the barn. They seem to be having a good time, so I feel a little bad going to them for advice, but I'm not really sure what else to do.

"Hey, guys," I mumble when I reach them.

"Wow, you're still alive?" Alex laughs. "After that tumble you took earlier I'm surprised you can still walk. It looked painful, but oh my was it funny."

I roll my eyes and look at Clay. "You got the first aid kit?"

"Oh yeah, here," he says, handing me the white container from under the counter. "Where's Karl? What'd you two talk about?"

"Um, we sort of got into a fight..." I mutter, embarrassed.

"Are you kidding? You guys have been together for all of four days and you already got into a fight?" Alex scoffs, trying to contain his laughter. "What did you do? What could he possibly get so mad about that you guys can't fix it easily?"

"He doesn't want me to do the competition because he's worried I'll get hurt."

"I don't blame him. If I thought I had any chance of talking you out of it, I'd be trying to convince you not to do it," Clay responds. "But, it seems that Karl hasn't grasped your stubborn nature quite yet. I swear sometimes you're almost as bad as George, which is saying something."

"Whatever, that's besides the point. I acted like a jackass and said some pretty cruel and insensitive things. How do I fix it?"

"Don't worry, I got you," Alex says. "I'm sort of a master at apologizing to people since I make them mad so much. You gotta wait for him to cool down, first and foremost. Then, you have to explain where you were coming from and why you didn't see the need for his concern, but that you appreciate it. Then you apologize for how you reacted and say that you understand where he's coming from, but again explain why you can't drop out of the competition."

"You know, that's actually good advice. Maybe you are useful for something," I joke.

He rolls his eyes and punches me in the arm, "I'm good for a lot of things. Most of them are just things that aren't exactly appropriate for our type of relationship, if you understand what I'm saying."

"I hate you," I murmur.

Both of them burst out laughing. The rest of the few short hours of our shift go by with friendly bickering and light-hearted banter, but the whole time I'm secretly thinking about Karl. I really hope I can fix this. I just got him: I don't want to lose him already.

Word Count- 1405

a/n- i have been spending quite a bit of time on webtoon recently. someone please tell me i dont need to spend 10 dollars on coins...