Back in the Saddle

Fireworks in the Night Sky

Karl's POV:

I am fully aware of the fact that they are both staring at me. They aren't slick in the slightest. I don't mind all that much, though. I actually find it to be kinda cute: the stupid looks on their faces as they watch me watch the sky. I'm pretending to not care for the sole purpose that it's entertaining to see them gawk, not thinking that I notice.

I can't help but feel shame inside that I'm allowing them to think things like that... and myself, as well. I feel like I'm betraying him by developing potential feelings for anyone else. I know he wouldn't want that, but guilt is a hard thing to smother, and my guilt is so immense that I doubt it can be doused at all. The flame will always burn inside: no matter how small it gets, it will never be extinguished.

"Hey Karlos?" Alex says and I glance over at him, signaling for him to continue. "Why are you here? I mean it's just kinda weird, 'cuz you seemed perfectly fine when I saw you."

"I, uh," I stutter, not knowing what to tell them. I can tell that Nick is looking at me as well though I can't see him since I'm still looking at Alex. But Alex's deep brown eyes seem to be penetrating the depths of my soul, so I look away from him to much more gentle stare of Nick's green ones. "My grades slipped, so they kicked me out."

"Why?" Alex says.

I hear him yelp in pain and look back to see the Mexican rubbing the top of his head in the spot that George just kicked him in. Clay and Nick burst out laughing, Alex flips George off, and George gives Alex a warning look. I'm grateful that George did that, because Alex seems to take the hint and drops the subject.

Conversation ceases as the sky gets darker and darker, lessening the time until the show will start little by little. I feel a little tired the more I lay here, so I end up sitting up to avoid falling asleep. It's honestly so dumb because I haven't done anything today aside from searching social media to see if any local business's are hiring. It led nowhere, but that's besides the point.

It feels like the more you sleep, the less productive you are, the tireder you are. Like of course a long day full of physical work or busy activities will wear you out, but it's a different type of exhaustion. Your body is tired, rather than your brain. When you sit around all day, the less active your brain is and the less it wants to properly function. Whereas after a day of hard work, when all you want to do is lay down, your brain is working just fine and you sleep to give everything else a break.

"I know how you feel," a soft whisper says from beside me. I look over to see Nick, who I hadn't even realized sat up. "If I keep laying down I think I might pass out: it's been a long day."

"I bet. You, Clay, and Alex were all sweating like crazy when we got here," I tease. "What were you doing?"

"Setting all this up," he says, gesturing to the setting around us.

"Impressive," I say with a smirk.

"Eh, it wasn't that bad. I enjoy a workout, helps clear the mind up a bit."

"I feel like I know what you mean. I don't work out, though. Not really my scene, but sometimes I wish I did. Maybe I'd feel a little bit better about myself if I was productive or did something as thorough as going to the gym on a schedule."

"Feel a little bit better about yourself? What does that mean?" he asks, looking so honestly confused that I almost laugh.

"I mean not feel like crap for eating horribly. Or for being too lazy to get up."

"Oh," he mumbles; I can tell that he's unsure of what to say, but it's okay. "Well, if it's any consolation to you at all, I think you look amazing. Gym bod or no gym bod, you look absolutely perfect."