Little Hate (M. Clifford Smut FF)

Chapter 14

What was he talking about? How did he know about Ashton? Ughh there are too many questions about his question ...why is this so fucking confusing?
"I ... I do- ...Michael.." I whisper rambling as he looks hurt at me.
"And here I was,thinking you actually meant those words last night." He says turning his back at me leaving me alpne and confused.

Why can't I say anything? Why is this so hard? It's not like I have feelings for Ashton... why didn't I say I meant those words and that I actually want Michael.
But we can't be together. . That's actually the truth. Let's just suppose we will be together and we will be happy together and we will hide in our own little secret.
But eventually people wilp find out and they will try to break us apart because it's wrong ... our parents are married we cannot have a relationship. It's just ... wrong. And how will we feel then? After we both invested so much in a relationship that won't work? How will I feel after more things happening between us and seeing him move on eventually? It will be harder then.

What am I rambling on about? It doesn't matter anymore. He's gone and I'm ... well I'm just stupid.
As I drag my feet back praying not to let my tears flow down my cheeks I feel my phone buzz. My heart instantly stops hoping to be Michael.

*hey. Look we need to talk. I mean you let me kinda confused yesterday so ..idk. call me when you're ready to talk :D still love you xx* -Luke

What did I do to deserve this? Luke is still cute and he loves me, not to say that Michael basically just confessed he fell for me and I'm trapped between two broken hearts. Make that three.... my heart is broken too. And I don't deserve these guys... I can't mess around with Luke's feelings. I should talk to him ...just maybe not today.

Why can't I focus? I need something to take my mind off of Michael and Luke ..and me and everything!
Without too much thinking I hop into the car and I start driving. In about 10 minutes I arrived in front of Ashton's house and now that I think it over I don't think this is such a good idea. But fuck it ...
I lose the door behind me and just like that I'm standing again at hos front door knocking.

"Hey.. y/n? What are you doing here?" He smiles opening the door.
"Hey Ashton." Now is the time when this idea sounds terrible. .. ughh what to do now?
"Uhmm ... have you seen my ... sweater?" I ask going in his house. "I think I forgot it here ...I just can't find it home and I remember wearing it last night." I lie, clearly not wearing any sweater last night.

"No ..sorry. check in my bedroom, maybe it's there." He says guiding me to his room.
I pretend I'm searching as he stands in the doorway.
"Ok. Shit. I'm not here for the sweater.. sorry. I just- I needed to talk to someone and you were the only one knowing ..everything. " I confess turning my face ti him and I see a smile spreading on his lips.

"Yeah. I knew. You were just in a black blouse when you came here last night... but I let you do your thing, because im a nice guy." He brags a little.
I smile a little embarrassed of what just happened.
"So ..what happened?" He asks and I follow him onto the sofa.

After I tell him everything he just looks at me and doesn't say anything.
"You should ... probably talk to Luke and maybe ...I don't know... He's one of my best friends Y/n, and I know he loves you. I don't want him to be hurt, but it's your choice. Don't let him hang anymore. Just cut him loose already... I mean, it will be best for both of you if you just clear things out." He pats my leg slowly.
"Yeah ..." I sigh just thinking how hard it will be to face him again.

"And as for Michael ...I think you made the right decision. It's easier to move on this way, but you really need to think this through. I mean if you really think Michael's the one for you than who am I to stand against it? Life is too short Y/n. Just make sure you won't regret any thing later. If you want him now, then get him. Stop worrying. Everything is going to be alright. " he gives me a reassuring smile and I nod.

*Michael's POV *
I can't believe it ... she's with him again. I don't even know how can she lie to me like that. I just told her we can have it all and she ran to him with the first chance she got. How stupid was I when I let her walk like that into my heart?

I decided not to drink anymore... but fuck it. I turn my car around and drive to the first bar I know.

*Your POV *
"Thanks." Who knew coming to Ashton will actually really help me?
"Can I stick around for some time? "I ask him and he nods chuckling.
"You're overthinking too much." He shakes his head. "Come here." He pulls my head and all I know is the next second his lips cover mine.

He presses his lips soft on mine and then slowly let's me go. "See? I wanted to kiss you and I did it. I didn't think twice. Life's too short for what ifs." He whispers still looking at my lips.
"That's not fair. You know I-" "you needed it." He looks into my eyes and then stands up off the sofa and walks away.

"Wait Ashton. Where are you going? " I ask following him.
"Well I prefer to have what ifs than you showing up at my door next day telling me you regret it.
"What?" I ask confused.

He looks at me not really making a sound. "You want to have sex with me." I state whispering as it hit me. His face lifts up smiling and I totally blush as I realize how stupid it sounded.
"Way to go, Sherlock. " he chuckles taking a beer from his fridge.

"That's it!" I smile jumping in his arms cupping his face smashing my lips on his.
"Y/n.. what are you doing? " he whispers.
"This way I'll know if I really love Michael." I tangle my fingers in his blonde curles kissing him again.
"Oh, so you want to use me?" He raises his brow smiling.
"No? ...maybe?" I whine a little and he laughs kissing me. He travels his hand to my butt and slaps it a little.

"Ok Y/n, this is so not happening. Not now. You need to figure out what you really want." He laughs a little stepping back drinking again from his bottle of beer.
"Look, if you love Michael, you shouldn't mess around with me. You need to work out your issues with that whole thing. If you're gonna choose Michael, trust me, you will not regret me stopping this. And if you decide you don't want Michael, then I'll be here tomorrow, next week, or next month too. But I need to know you want this not for a rebound thing, but for ...more." I smile at his cute speach thing.

"Good Lord... who knew yoi were actually the sweet type of guy?" I state looking at him. In another life I'd kill to be his girl... but in this one ...other goof stole my heart.
"I'm just giving you a choice. Trust me, once I fuck there's no way you'll go back to your big brother. " well here's the treasin Ashton I knew.
"Hahah. Did you forget you already fucked me and I still went back to my ..big brother?" I laugh taking the beer from his hand gulping a little.

"Oh no. That was with Luke. Wait to see me alone..." he chuckles making me laugh too.
"Yeah... I should go, shouldn't I?" I ask him and he looks at me pressing his lips into a thin line.
"You should tell him how you really feel." He tells me and I nod giving him the beer back.
***
I go to Michael's apartment ready to tell him everything. I don't actually care what people think. That was just a stupid excuse. He's all I want.

"Michael?" I knock at his door but there's no response. I knock a few more times, but there's still no response.
Eventually I give up knocking. Either he's not home and so he's probably with some girls ..or he's so mad at me that he wouldn't open the door.
Either way sucks for me.

I sigh gathering my thoughts and leaving to my car. I start the engine and the car is slowly moving. I drive two blocks away from his apartment and just like that the car that's in fron of me hits a man who tried to cross the street.
Shit. I stop the car quickly and get out of it wanting to check if the man who just flew over that car is alright.

My face gets pale and my knees get week when I see a bloody Michael in front of me.
He's laying on the cold ground blood leaking out of him and I'm about to have a heart attack watching him like that.
"Michael? No babe please stay with me." I drop down to him not even knowing what to do.
"Please call 911!" I scream to the people around me.
"Michael please open your eyes. Please. I love you Michael. Stay with me please. " tears stream down my cheeks as I lay in the middle of the road holding him in my arms. My heart is now completely sinking in the bitter pain.
"I love you Michael." I whisper to him crying.

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¤ Sheryl Crow - I Shall Believe
¤ Matthew Ryan - Everybody Always Leaves

Lots of loooove
-Kate G. ♥