war: my mind vs. my heart

first kiss.

Snape told me to sit down in my spot and stay quiet for the rest of the class. I glanced over at potter who's head was now on the desk. My gums stopped bleeding at this point.
"Mate? fighting for potter? really?" Blaise asked.
"Weasley was being a prat not just to potter Blaise. The things he was saying could hurt anyone in the room. Even fellow Slytherins". i explained.

"But he was making fun of potter.." he said.

"i understand that Blaise but it's still homophobic no matter who he's talking about. Plus my name was said." i said. I did fight for potter but Blaise would tell everyone and that wouldn't end well.

"Whatever mate." Blaise said not wanting to continue the argument in the middle of class.
I continued taking notes glancing at potter who's head remained on the desk for the rest of class.
i'll have to lend him my notes
i thought to myself. I knew potter was failing this class and would have to bring up his grade before moving up to next year.
When class was over Granger and Potter were the first ones out of the classroom. Blaise wouldn't let me go find Potter and instead introduced me to a girl named Astoria Greengrass.  I didn't see Potter or any of his friends for the rest of the day. Blaise kept my mind occupied with studies and girls he wanted to get with. I don't understand his thinking.. i find it rude and disrespectful towards the women in the question. After dinner i slipped away from Blaise as he flirted with a Ravenclaw girl to find potter. I checked the library and asked the twins if they'd seen him. They hadn't. I checked everywhere. I finally went up to the hospital wing and he was there with granger and Weasley.

"don't u have detention?" i asked walking up to Weasley.

"What are you doing here Malfoy?"  Granger asked.

"Well i've been looking for potter all day Granger, to make sure he was okay cause being hate crime for being gay can probably do something to people." I said looking at Weasley the whole time.

"Malfoy i'm fine u can leave." Potter said.

"You sure?" I asked looking at him.

"Yeah." he said playing with his fingers.

"Did u eat?" i asked.

"No." he said truthfully.

"Make sure u eat please. And get sleep potter. U need it." i said looking at him giving him a small smile.

"Is the kitchen still open?" he asked.

"should be?" i said questioning myself. It wasn't late so it should be open.

"Okay." He said grabbing his bag.
"i'm going to the kitchen." he said to his "friends".
I walked out with him and made sure he ate something.
He grabbed what he wanted and i grabbed an apple and we walked out to the courtyard.
We sat under a tree and he kept taking little bites out of his sandwich pausing for a couple minutes before taking another bite.

"You alright?" i asked him.

"Yeah, i'm fine." he said looking down.

"Why were u with the weasel?" i asked.

"Hermione wanted me to apologize for not stopping u in class." He said.

"Did u?" i asked.

"Eventually.."

"Potter."

"I told him he deserved it but then Hermione got mad and started yelling at me."

"That's not right potter.." I said.

"Their all i have" he said looking at me with tears in his eyes.

"You have me, The twins and that weaslett of yours." i said.

"Ginnys mad at me for leading her on when i didn't even realize i was and i'm not that very close with the twins. And you.. well i know this isn't gonna last long." he said

"why's that?" i asked.

"Cause i'm going to end up ruining it."

"how?"

"letting my feelings get in the way." he said.

"what if i feel the same way?" i asked hesitantly.

"Do you?" he asked.

"Depends.. what are ur feelings exactly"

"I- no." he said getting up. I followed his move.

"Tell me what u want." i said grabbing his arm.

"You." he said simply. I pulled him closer so we were nose to nose. His lips brushed mine. I put a hand around his back and the other on his face. I met our lips and he feel right into my touch. His hands fell around my neck crashing  our lips harder together. I smiled into the kiss. His lips felt so right on mine and his touch felt safe. Once he pulled away for air he Laid his head on my shoulder and we stand there hugging. I could tell he was exhausted. I hugged him tighter before i heard Blaise calling out for me. I let go of harry kissing him on the cheek before Blaise came into view.

"He can't know anything." I whisper to harry.

"Mate!" Blaise yelled.

"Hey!" i yelled walking up to him.

"what are you doing with potter?" He asked.

"Just- nothing Blaise" i say. "Why don't we go to my room and play chess?" i said before Blaise could answer. He nodded and i walked back towards harry to grab my bag.
"I'll catch you later" i say winking at harry making sure Blaise didn't hear or see.
Harry nodded and me and Blaise headed back to my room to play chess. We finally had our first kiss.