war: my mind vs. my heart

everythings my fault

I lay in bed, harry in my arms. I tried to sleep but my thoughts wouldn't let me. I play with harry's hair listening to his breathing. My eyes slowly fell before i went into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up only hours later to harry getting up.

"Where are u going?" i asked half asleep.

"Bathroom, i'll be right back." he said kissing my forehead. i closed my eyes and sat there listening to harry close the bathroom door. He came out minuets later and climbed back into bed with me. He laid on my chest playing with my shirt.

"Dray..?" he dragged out. "What are we?" he asked.

"Anything you want us to be." i stated.

"together." he stated.

"okay love." i said kissing his head.

"when's out first date?" he joked.

"Good question" i said laughing with him. To be honest i wanted our first date to be before everything went down but i knew we both would be to stressed and busy.

"two more weeks till break" he said.

"counting down are we?" i asked looking at him.

"everyday until i get to spend every day with you" i smiled at this. He was a helpless romantic and a cringy one at that.

"Eww" i joked. He smacked my chest.

"Hey!" i said.

"you deserve it." he laughed

"I don't think so" i said kissing him. God i was in love.
He kissed me back sitting up locking our hands together. I broke one of our hands apart and put it on his face deepening the kiss. He fell back on to the bed not breaking the kiss. I climbed on top of him disconnecting our hand and holding myself above him. His hands laid on my back crawling under my shirt making goosebumps appear on my skin. I kiss down his jawline to his neck, kissing it. Leaving my mark on him. Harry's hand ventured to my chest and he stoped. He felt a scar that went across my chest given to me by my father.
"What's this?" he asked rubbing it.

"Old scar nothing to worry about" i said.

"how'd you get it?" he asked.

"harry.. please."

"take off ur shirt." he said pushing me off of him.

"take me out on a date first damn" i joked but he didn't laugh. I took off my shirt to reveal my pale chest with a long darker scar across it. Harry ran his finger across it once again his eyes watering.

"harry i'm fine." i said.

"It must've hurt." he stated.
like hell i thought.

"yeah i guess" i said. "but harry it's over now what's in the past is in the past." i continued.

"who did it." he said.

"Harry."

"who did it."

"father." i said reluctantly. i couldn't bring myself to lie to him.

"how?"

"Fire poker" i said.

"I'm sorry" he apologized.

"Don't say that word harry." i said lifting his head to meet mine.

"U deserve and apology"

"not from you."

"You deserved better" he said looking at it again.

"you can't change the past" i said.

"Wish i could" he said.