White Phoenix | Before & After

Chapter 2 | My Loneliness Calls You

" Jiwon", Hanah called her name as she approached Jiwon.

Jiwon flinched when her name was being called by a familiar voice. She diverted her eyes towards the owner of the voice.

A disappointed look plastered across Hanah's face and Jiwon didn't know how to react in this situation. Hanah was mad at Jiwon but sad in the same time.

She thought Jiwon had works to do and that was why Jiwon couldn't go for recess but here she was, chatting and smiling with others. It didn't look like they were discussing about serious matters in Hanah's eyes.

"H-Hanah", Jiwon stuttered. She forgot about Hanah for a moment and it was her fault but she need to explain it Hanah. It was not as it seems.

"I can expl-", Jiwon's sentence got cut off when Hanah just entered the classroom. She didn't bother to hear the rest of  the words as it would only be an excuse.

Jiwon followed her rushingly. Hanah sat on the chair and opened a book. She pretended like she was busy.

"Hanah, it is my fault but I have my reason. I can explain it", Jiwon grabbed Hanah's arm desperately as she was shaking in fear. She was afraid that this misunderstanding could destroy their friendship.

Hanah yanked her arm from Jiwon's grip. She didn't utter even a single word.

"Hanah", Jiwon was surprised by the action, leaving her in blank. Her eyes were teary. There was a lump inside her throat that her voice couldn't come out from her larynx.

She gave up as it was no use to talk now. Jiwon dropped her hand and went away from Hanah's seat. 

Hanah lifted up her head, looking at Jiwon who returned to her seat.

"You didn't even try hard to comfort me. You didn't even say that you're sorry", Hanah mumbled to herself. She felt the pain but she was holding it.

~~~

"So today, I will give you an assignment and you need to work on the essay in pair", the teacher said, earning groans from the students.

Jiwon snapped out from her thoughts and she was confused for a moment.

"Your task would be What I Have Learned over 16 Years of My life. I know that you this is boring but think about it, you only have a few months left before you enter your high school life and that's where you will find more boring assignment", the teacher chuckled while her students was looking at her in despair.

"Send your name and your partner's to class monitor by today. Ok, that's all for today", the teacher said with a smile and walked out from the class. The classrooom filled with their voices as soon as the teacher was gone.

Jiwon looked around to find any possible partner but she assumed that everyone had found their own partner. Then, her eyes stopped on Hanah. Hanah just sat on her seat quietly and Jiwon knew how shy Hanah was to start a conversation with others.

Jiwon got up from the seat slowly and walked towards Hanah. She stopped in front of Hanah's desk as her shadow took place on Hanah's desk.

"Let's be partner again", Jiwon said making Hanah lifted up her head to look at her.

Hanah didn't have any other choice cause she knew that they were both the only remaining in their class. She just nodded without saying anything. 

Deep inside, Jiwon was glad because Hanah gave her some reaction compared to the previous days. Maybe she could end this cold war between them.

"Then when should we start?", Jiwon was asking Hanah's opinion. 

Hanah sighed before she answered, "Today's evening sounds good". She then continued on solving maths question again.

"Okay, see you at our usual place then. I will submit our name to Seonha", Seonha was their class monitor. Jiwon gave her a tiny smile although she knew that Hanah wasn't looking at her. She really missed the time where they hung out together.

Jiwon held herself from bursting out her unspoken words. She need to move step by step so that both of them wouldn't hurt.

🏫🏫🏫

Jiwon waited at their usual place, rooftop.

The wind blew away her hair  making it sway softly. 15 minutes passed from the promised time.

Jiwon glanced at her watch. Suddenly, the door to the rooftop swung open.

Hanah appeared at the scene and unknowingly Jiwon sighed in relief. She thought that Hanah didn't want to come today.

She sat beside Jiwon.

"Why? Do you think that I'm like you? Breaking someone's promise?", Hanah asked sarcastically. Her cold eyes gazed on Jiwon's.

She could see how guilty Jiwon looked.

"Hey, I'm sorry", Jiwon said with a low voice. She couldn't look into Hanah's eyes.

Hanah was a bit surprised. It was the word that she wanted to hear so much all these times.

"For what?"

"Breaking our promise"

"And?"

"Leaving you alone"

Hanah let out a scoff.

"But I need to explain what exactly happen that day",  Jiwon gathered all of her courage to open her mouth.

"That day... they were my old friends from elementary school. They asked me to help them and I don't have a choice..", Jiwon started but her lips trembled.

She didn't know whether it was because she was sad or scared.

"And why you didn't have a choice? We became friends longer than between you and them. I know that we went to different elementary schools but I think that you have been keeping a secret from me", Hanah frowned.

Jiwon fell into silence for a moment. Her eyes became teary as multiple of  scenes from the past played in front of her view.

She wanted to forget it but she just couldn't.

She wanted to talk about it but she couldn't either.

"I'm sorry, that's all I can say for now. I didn't mean to hurt you in the first place. I was about to go to the cafeteria and they came. I'm sorry, really", suddenly Jiwon was sobbing hars but she covered her face with her palms.

She was not in the place to cry.

Hanah was surprised to see Jiwon who suddenly broke into tears.

"I'm sorry, you don't know how much I miss us", Jiwon struggled to speak.

Hanah patted her back to soothe her mind away.

'In the end, my loneliness calls your presence to comfort my restless heart'

~~~

When loneliness calls you, quietly come to my heart

my memories for you

Now it's getting erased little by little

but i didn't forget

(Suran - My Loneliness Calls You)

~~~

To Be Continued...