Play Pretend

Silence

Y/n's POV:

A sudden sheer light hit my eyes as I hear a distant murmur,

'Y/n! Get up, it's so late, and your room is an absolute mess, what the hell happened?' I manage to make out whilst Sarah complains,

My first thought,

Rafe...

'Uh, oh, fuck Sarah, get out.' I utter, pretending to be annoyed and turn to the other side,

My eyes searched over the room,

One part of me was hoping that he left, since Sarah would be very cross with us, but on the other side, and probably a much larger part hoped that he stayed,

Spoiler,

He did not.

-

'Have you uhm, seen Rafe by any chance?' I ask, noticing that he is no where to be found,

'Nope, why do you care anyway?' Sarah asks which throws me off, she is his sister after all, despite him being a dickhead sometimes,

'Just wondering, we can't really leave without him.' I excuse my curiosity,

We have decided to cut the trip short, due to weather worsening, so we were planning on going home and awaiting enter prognoses,

'He'll show up.' Sarah assures, stuffing her bikini into a modicum bag that is way too small for the amount of clothes she took along...

-

He showed up, he looked, well, tired,

His hair was in a mess, eyes fatigued, he wouldn't even look at me,

The whole way home, I kept budging him, beseeching explanation, yet I got nothing,

Also Sarah was in the car,

'Rafe, are we not going to talk about what happened yesterday?' I ask, whilst Sarah got out to use the bathroom in the petrol station,

'There is nothing to talk about.' He clears his throat, 

'Yes there is-oh look at me for God's sakes!' I demand, annoyed,

Then, he does,

He looks, awful,

'I said, there is nothing to talk about, I'll drop Sarah off, then you, the deal is over, we got what we wanted.'

When he says that, my mouth gapes open,

No,

No, no, no,

'No, you can't just decide when it's over-Rafe! We had sex-you-'

'I told you, it was an act-'

'No one was looking at you fucking me!' I interrupt,

'Thank God.' He utters before Sarah gets back in the car,

Silence, again,

This stupid we-did-nothing-except-pretend-silence,

I fucking hate that silence,

And I hate him,

Fuck you!

—

After he dropped off Sarah, we were making our way towards my house,

'Stop the car.' I say,

'No.'

'I said, stop the car.' I demand louder,

'No Y/n, I am not stopping the car.'

'Stop the fucking car Rafe.' I raise my voice, he does so, sighing and grunting,

He stops in an empty parking lot,

It is dark, the only light shining is from the lanterns, and the moon,

There is lightning and thunder heard in distance, as it is seen in the dark clouds as well,

'No-Y/n, it's dangerous-don't go out-' Rafe says,

However I get out anyways, stepping slightly away from the car, I can feel the stinging tears threatening to pool,

Rafe slams the door and goes behind me,

'I said get back in the car Y/n, don't-'

'Don't what Rafe! Haven't you done enough? I don't fucking get it okay? Am I just one of your experiments to fool with? One minute you hate me, the other you fuck me, the other you hate me-I am tired-what do you want Rafe-what the fuck do you want-'

'You! I want you Y/n, it's always been you.' He says, interrupting me,

Tears eventually pooled down my cheeks as I chuckled in irony,

'Then why do you act like you want nothing to do with me?'

'Because you drive me fucking insane Y/n!' He exclaims, looking directly at me, his jaw tense,

'I am sick of pretending Rafe...' I mutter,

'I was never pretending. There was never a girl that I was trying to get out of, I was just wanting to have an excuse, so that I can be closer to you, I never felt so obsessed and in need of someone like I do toward you Y/n.' He says,

I am left on a chokehold,

My mouth open,

Thunder rumbles, getting closer,

'Let me take you home-please-' He says,

'No-no so we can pretend that this never happened again? No.' I step back which makes him sigh,

'I don't want to pretend like this never happened-'

'Why did you leave? Two times, why did you not want my number for the first date? Why-'

'I never wanted to leave, do you know the amount of strength I needed, and yet it wasn't enough to leave, I never even left, I just had to get away somehow, the way you make me feel is ridiculous, and the stupid number, I knew that wouldn't be able to withhold myself and I'd end up calling you drunk, explaining that I want you, and only you.'

I stand, just listening, taken so aback,

'I cannot believe you.' I utter in denial,

He steps closer,

Then closer,

Until we are inches away,

His hand laid on my cheek as he looks down at me,

His other hand on my waist,

The space between us gets smaller and smaller,

Our lips inches away,

'You drive me insane darling.' He whispers,

His lips then clatter against mine just as we hear a thunder and the imprint of lightning closer,

This kiss is so, desperate, passionate and...needy for more,

I put my hands in his hair, pulling him even closer to me,

'You drive me insane as well Rafe.' I whisper against his lips,

He smirks and lifts me up as my legs wrap around his torso, he begins to walk toward the car,

'Good.' He whispers as his lips trail down my neck, leaving evident marks...

—-