The second week of classes was much harder than the first. Having moved past the syllabus stage and into real work, Kristen’s professors now expected a lot of her and her classmates. She lost count of the number of times she was told to take risks, but at least half of them had come in the form of scolding.
It scared her more than it seemed to anyone else. She’d had a problem in her design class especially. The city girls had no problem drawing the sleek, avant-garde pieces their professor preferred.
Kristen, on the other hand was so far out of her comfort zone she felt like she’s been thrown unawares into deep water. Everything she’d drawn the last few days had felt forced. None of it was anywhere close to what she knew, and not being able to draw on experience was extremely unhelpful.
But it wasn’t even the fact that it was out of her comfort zone that bothered her. After all, she wanted to be pushed. How else was she supposed to get better? What bothered her was that what she knew and what was in her comfort zone simply wasn’t accepted.
After class Wednesday, Kristen had had enough. She’d been so near tears when her professor had critiqued the dress she’d been drawing, that by the time she left class, she could feel the lump rising in her throat, unable to be held down any longer. She barely made it to her dorm room before she burst into tears.
Luckily, Alessandra wasn’t back yet. It took a long time for her to calm down, and once she had, she picked up her phone with the intention of calling her parents.
Something made her scroll past them, however, and she tapped on William’s name instead. Listening to the phone ring, she wasn’t sure what made her do it, or even what she was going to say. It rung five times and she was almost relieved when it went to voicemail, but then her phone beeped and his name popped up on the screen. He was calling her back.
She picked up and said, “Hey,” her voice still a little shaky from crying. She sniffled and hoped he wouldn’t hear it over the line.
“Hey, Kristen, what’s up?”
“Do you have an early class tomorrow?”
“Are you alright?” he asked, after a pause.
“I’m fine. Do you?” She didn’t sound fine.
“No, I don’t have anything until noon.”
“Do you want to do something tonight?”
“Sure,” he said immediately. “I’ll pick you up around five thirty,” he volunteered.
“Okay. Thank you,” she added.
“Kristen… are… are you sure you’ll alright?”
She sighed through her nose, and forced herself to smile. “Yeah.”
“Okay well… see you tonight then?”
“Yeah,” she actually found herself smiling as she said so. “See you tonight.”
They hung up and Kristen fell back onto her pillows, hand over her eyes. Her hair fell over her mouth and she attempted, unsuccessfully to blow it off. Forced to sit up and move it, she decided she might as well be somewhat productive. She picked up her backpack, and pulled out her sketchbook.
She didn’t want to draw anything. Not a bit. But they’d been assigned a small project for next Monday, and had to show their progress in class on Friday. Maybe her anger at her professor would turn into something.
She sketched out a person and stared at its vague figure for a good ten minutes before she started adding any clothes. They were supposed to design a business outfit, and her immediate thought was to design something very classic and elegant. She pictured Jackie O and Audrey Hepburn.
