Purple rain

Underneath the purple rain

Throughout the week, Trixie and Katya did all the possible activities that the city offered. They wanted to enjoy the short seven days they had together before they would be separated again. They saw each other less and less frequently since they went to college, and Trixie knew she wouldn't be with her best friend again probably until next year. It wasn't that she didn't miss her, but she was a mess every time Katya left, so she tried to avoid reuniting with her to begin with. They talked on the phone every day though, and Trixie liked to think it was more practical. Katya lived far away and that's just why they only met two or three times a year.

"What about this?" Trixie asked, holding up a black dress over herself. It was Friday and she had just gotten out of the shower. She had a towel wrapped around herself and her hair was in a bun on top of her head. Katya was sitting on her bed, giving her advice on what was appropriate for a first date. Trixie had no idea if Katya ever dated anyone herself. She never told her at least.

"That's beautiful but it's not you."
"You know I don't only wear pink right?"
"You would if you weren't scared of people judging you because of how you look." Katya argued. It bothered Trixie when her best friend read her like an open book, she was unable to hide her mind in front of her. Trixie looked at the dress again and put it back in the wardrobe. She turned her back to Katya and faced the dressing room, trying to think of an outfit she might've forgotten. Katya saw that some freckles were already there on the blonde's shoulders. They appeared under the sun, and Katya always thought it was beautiful how her friend's body changed with the seasons. Her hair would get lighter, while her skin tanned easily, which made Trixie an almost perfect replica of old Barbies with orange skin and platinum hair.

"This one?"

Trixie had a pink dress in hand, the one that Katya gifted to her for her eighteenth birthday. They were almost both twenty-one now, and Katya couldn't believe a piece of fabric made her so emotional.

"You still have it?" She asked, her voice wavering a little.
"Of course I do, it still fits." Trixie replied, and then bit her tongue at how insensitive this explanation sounded. She would've kept the dress even if it was five sizes too small. It was her favorite, and she knew how much Katya loved it too.
"It's perfect" Katya nodded.

After one hour or so, Trixie was ready to leave. She was maybe five minutes late, and on her way to the restaurant she wanted to run back to her place too many times. She had no idea if this kind of stress was normal, this was the first time she went out on a date with anyone. Jessica was already there when she arrived. She complimented Trixie's makeup, and Trixie said she liked her jewelry, even if she preferred gold over silver. They talked about work the entire evening, and Trixie felt like she was having dinner with a colleague rather than a girl she was interested in.

Katya ate ramen on the balcony and smoked a cigarette after. She was a bit mad that Trixie went out with someone else while she was there. She wondered if Trixie kept more memories of their friendship than the little pink dress, and decided to look around her friend's place. There weren't much pictures hung on the walls, and not one of Katya and Trixie. Katya noticed the guitar case on top of Trixie's wardrobe, she supposed the girl stopped playing. Trixie had over thirty pair of shoes all perfectly aligned at the bottom of her dressing room. Most of her clothes were light colors, except for some black pieces that Katya knew she bought solely for professional occasions. There was a black box in the back of a lingerie drawer, and Katya expected it to hold some kind of vibrator like she herself had in her own room. She checked just because, but its content was absolutely not a sex toy. It was filled with pics of Trixie and Katya, as well as the notebook Katya made for her friend at the end of high school.

Both girls were deeply disappointed when they learned that they wouldn't see each other for the entire month of July. Trixie was going back to Wisconsin to see her family the first three weeks, and Katya was travelling to Mexico the last one. They hadn't been away this long since they met, and it was nerve wracking. Katya decided to make something for Trixie that could help her deal with loneliness. She wrote the title of a song on thirty-one pages and described what she liked about it, how she interpreted the lyrics, everything that came to her mind when she listened to it. Each day that they weren't together, Trixie listened to one song and read Katya's thoughts. They would call each other in the evening so Trixie could share her own feelings. However, on the thirty-first day, Trixie didn't call, and didn't answer Katya's call or texts. The last page of the notebook was titled « Purple Rain », and there wasn't any text with it, only a drawing of Trixie smiling, standing in the purple rain. "I love you" was written under the artwork, and Trixie knew Katya didn't mean it in a friendly way. But her practical mind shut down the butterflies in her chest, because a relationship with Katya couldn't work. They were going to college in two different cities, and Trixie was already worried their friendship had to end because of it. She cried a lot that day, but told herself that if it hurt now, it wouldn't hurt later. Katya didn't need any explanation, Trixie's silence told her everything she wanted to know. She was glad that her and Trixie remained friends after this, even if it wasn't the same. Katya dropped the flirtatious game that she played with the blonde. They went from seeing each other every single day to once every month, and gradually spaced out the reunions.

It was too painful to even see that notebook, and Katya started crying when looking through it. She vividly remembered how Trixie would repeat "I miss you" a thousand times during their calls, which gave Katya hope back then. She turned the last page, and noticed how there were small circles of faded colors and crumpled paper. It looked like water droplets fell on the drawing, and Katya gasped when she realized it must have been tears. What made her even more overwhelmed was the response next to Katya's declaration : "I love you too" in Trixie's handwriting.