Bilbo's (Un) Respectable Diary

Day 1.

20:00 Sitting down to finally enjoy some delicious buttered rolls.

Hear knock at door.

Better not be Gandalf, after the bloody morning I've had...

Nope, it's a dwarf. Actually a whole swarm of dwarves.

20:02 The first one pledges his "service" to me. Just what exactly does he mean by "service"? Because if you ask me he's looking a little to old to provide any "services"...

Don't have time to think because the next one does the same then proceeds to walk past me and eat my food.

How rude. Ruddy Dwarves.

20:03 Note to self: 2nd Dwarf seems to dislike first dwarf, head butted him when they made eye contact.

20:04 Note to self: Scratch that, immediately after gave him a hug. Weird mating ritual perhaps?

20:07 Now there's a whole throng of dwarves in my kitchen and raiding my pantry.

Gandalf finally arrived. When questioned he provides no good explanation for why, all of a sudden, half a dozen dwarves are in my living room.

He must have smoked one to many pipes to think he's going to get away with one "all-knowing" shrug.

20:09 Sudden knock at door.

Gandalf see's it as an opportunity to avoid further questioning and proceeds to open door.

If it's another dwarf, I swear to Mahal...

Door opens.

Damn...

...

Really hot looking dwarf stands in the doorway.

Must be the two younger, cute dwarves who came in earlier's father.

"Gandalf.." He says. Oh dear Mahal, he has the voice of an angel.

"You said this place would be easy to find. I got lost. Twice." A dark, I'll tie you to the bedpost kind of angel...

Really wishing he wasn't young cute dwarves father, because obviously that hunk of hotness must be taken. No, no keep cool. Must be the Took side in me talking.

Try to regain composure and act like a respectable hobbit. Realize it's to late, I've been asked a question by none other than the Hot Dwarf himself and now all the others who had gathered in the room's eyes are on at me, waiting for me to respond.

Bugger.

Hot Dwarf just stares at me. Wonder if he can read my thoughts?

Blush.

Smile up at him tentatively.

20:18 Finally caught Hot Dwarf's name among the chatter. Thorin.

Thorin Oakenshield.

More like Thorin Sexy-Shield if you ask me, or Smokin'-Shield... yes Smokin-Shield.

Smile stupidly to self.

Catch Smokin'-Shields eyes staring back at me. Instantly look down, embarrassed.

Respectable hobbit, respectable hobbit.

20:22 The two younger, cuter dwarves are jesting each other to see who can shoot ale out of their nose.

Smokin'-Shield bellows out a warning that is waaaayyy to sexy to be a mere warning.

Note to self: Horse play makes Hot Dwarf use Hot "Fatherly-you're-in-trouble-voice".