For the next few days, I felt myself talking, dressing, and acting different. Nicer, better, girlier. And I knew why...
Nathan.
I had Grace text him the night before asking if he liked me, and he said he did, and he wanted to talk to me sometime. Grace and I spent the rest of the night freaking out over it. The next morning, I was determined to look amazing when I saw him. I picked out a cute little outfit and got up early to get ready.
While I was doing my hair, I looked in the mirror and saw my reflection, but I didn't look like me, I looked like a slightly older, somewhat different looking me.
"We are what we wear, we wear what we are." I said to myself. My clothes were 'la la cute clothes' as I called them. They were clothes for the fashion freaks, the girly girls. That wasn't me. And I was definitely not a girly girl.
I finished fixing my hair, and put on some expensive new makeup a friend had lent me for an occasion like this. I sprayed some yummy perfume on too, just for good measure.
I slipped on my shoes and headed out of my room for breakfast.
Grace had filled my head with hopes the night before, saying Nathan was gonna ask me out, that he liked me a lot, how that thought I was pretty... And it just added to my excitement. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered.
I liked being "just friends" with Nathan, I mean, we had a lot of fun together, but I kinda thought it would be nice to be more than that. I had feelings for him, and if he really had feelings for me, then why shouldn't we just get together?
Wouldn't that be cool? This really neat-o new guy, super cute and cool, who totally gets me, who I really like, dating me?!
I was so flippin' excited that morning, I couldn't wait to go to school.
When it was time to go to school, I grabbed my bag and hopped in my moms car. She got in next to me, still tired, her coffee in hand.
"Today was gonna be great, today was gonna be different and fun and fantastic," I thought to myself.
My mom looked over at me smiling. She noticed my overnight change. When we got in the car to go to school that morning, I knew she was going to say something.
"Ah, so the hoodies and leggings are going out of style already?" She asked, one eyebrow raised jokingly. I smiled. I was preparing for the lecture, I knew was coming.
"I just... Felt like looking nice today!" I didn't want to listen to a lecture, especially this early in the morning. I didn't want to ruin my good mood.
My mom turned her attention to the road as she started the car. Slowly, we pulled out of the driveway. My mom looked left, then right, and headed towards school. We had about a 10 mile drive, so it would be about 15 minutes, maybe longer, with how slow my mom drove.
Moms full attention was on the road, but she still spoke.
"Honey, you always look nice! You don't have to dress up to prove that. You should be happy being you and looking like you always do. You're always pretty, even without all that..." She motioned to her face.
"Mom, I just wanted to look nice-r today." I said, emphasizing the er.
I had a bit of a tone, but I didn't think she caught it.
"I know I know, it's just...Just the boys, deary..." She said, tapping her thumbs nervously on the steering wheel. "They can act different around pretty girls. Sometimes not in a good way..."
"Mom!" I snapped.
My mom made a surprised face. Like I said, I wasn't in the mood to get a lecture.
She was quiet for a moment, then continued. "Well I'm just saying! I mean, they're getting older, so are you...I just... I want you to be careful okay?"
I took a deep breath and nodded. It annoyed me, she was gonna ruin my day with her overprotection. Again. "Okayyyy mom!" I said moodily.
I didn't think anything would happen, but with boys, you never know.
Mom focused on the road, and I turned to look out the window at the blurs of trees and bushes as we passed by them. Save for a few sighs, the rest of the car ride was silent.
As we got within view of the school, I started to get excited again. My butterflies weren't as bad, but I was still nervous. Mom parked the car in front of the school, and looked at me for a moment as I unbuckled. I knew she was just trying to keep her little girl safe, but I wasn't a baby anymore. She needed to trust me and have faith that I would be okay on my own.
I hugged my mom quickly before opening the door and stepping out. I shut the door slowly behind me, and started walking towards the main entrance. My mom beeped the car horn and I turned around, surprised and annoyed. I was so nervous and happy I almost forgot my bag. My mom opened the door and held in out to me. As I grabbed it from her, I noticed how she looked. Still in her pajamas, no makeup, hair in a messy pony tail, her blue eyes looked tired. She had driven me to school when she could've slept in. I felt bad. I should've said something nice, something grateful. But ego prevented.
"Thanks," I said half heartedly. I shut the door before she could answer. She gave a small wave and drove off. She wasn't gone for long, but I felt alone and abandoned, when in reality, I was the one that cut her off.
I shrugged and turned to the school. I walked up to the doors. My heart was racing as I pushed them open.
