Behind the Doors (a teen mom story)

Starting Fresh

With all the kids in the house and me only being 18 things start to become very hard. I spend all my day changing diapers, helping with homework, cooking, and cleaning. I started to wish I never had kids and thought of ending my life. My kids kept me holding on because I knew if I was gone they wouldn't have anybody else. I soon accepted that in my brothers head I will always be there mom. Even though I felt guilty of taking my mom place I knew it was better. I talked to my mom about the boys and by surprise she didn't care about them being her kids. She didn't want them. For use reason she liked just being a grandma. Even though she didn't say she didn't want to be my mother my feelings became very hurt. I knew now that was why as a teen she was never home. I soon started to blame her for me getting pregnant with serenity. I blamed her for the life I have and I blamed km also. Km ended up going into the army saying he wanted to get his life together and left me to raise 4 kids (including my brothers) on my own. I talked to my best friend Izzy about how I felt. Izzy was my Bestfriend sense middle school and knew everything. She is pregnant with her first baby and is engaged with her boyfriend sense middle school. I looked up to my Bestfriend because her life was so much better and easier then myn. She gave me a number to talk to help. From calling the number they adviced me to go to a chatting group every Saturday. My Bestfriend babysat every time I had to go. From the group I met a boy name kalan. Everybody called him kc. He was tall, light skin, great hair and amazing body. We started talking about our life's and became well friends. After 3 months of talking to him we went on our first date. He asked me to be his girlfriend. After 3 months of dating him he met the kids. After 5 more months of dating he moved in. My father said I was taking things to fast and that he was gonna get me pregnant and leave like km. I didn't listen. I ended up getting my nursing licence and started working at a close by hospital. I put serenity and markell in a daycare/school. It gave me time to chill before working the night shift. Kalan watches them doing the night and Thursday-sunday I have them all day because them were my days off. During them days kalan works and goes to his college classes. That was our life for 1 year and 3 months. One day on the job they rushed in a man just back from the army. Said he was shot by his crazy babymomma. When I went into the surgery room I seen km face. Tears ran down my eyes as I hand the doctor the tools he called out for. I cried hard while watching them remove the bullet out his chest. The whole time falling back in love with him like I did as a teen girl. Me a women felt like a teenager once again. I pushed his bed into the recovery room after surgery and holds his hand. I whispered *I had no plans in loving you, yet plans mess up, I will help you*. I hold his hand tight looking at him and seeing serenity and markell within him.