Subject X (Winter Soldier X Reader)

20

"I was born in the States, but when I was 2 my parents moved us to Germany for their work. That's where I grew up."

"What do your parents do?"

I felt my chest fall, and my face fall with it. I looked up at him with a small smile.
"They're, um- they died when I was 12. So I'm not entirely sure." I explained. I saw Frederick's face fall as his eyebrows knitted together.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea." He sympathized. I took a drink of the wine that was now almost gone, shrugging my shoulders in the process.
"It's alright. I've had a long time to come to terms with it."

"Does it get easier?"
Frederick's question took me back slightly, I wasn't expecting it.

"I'm sorry?" I asked, hoping he would explain what he meant more.

"Losing your parents. I didn't have an active father in my life but my mother and I were as close as two people can be. It still hurts to think about all the memories and moments that we shared together. Does that pain get easier to deal with?" He wouldn't look at me, his face focused on his empty bowl of salad in front of him, chasing a single tomato around with his fork.

My heart shattered. Here this man was, so broken and vulnerable over losing his mother.
"I am not sure," I admitted. "I was so young, what hurts for me the most is wondering what it could have been like."
I stopped myself from explaining further, afraid I would slip up and expose myself and where I truly came from.

I thought of Bucky, the times that we shared together. Since him, it is the first time since my parents death I haven't felt alone in the world. I didn't know what it felt like to want to have someone to rely on until I met him. To crave for someone to be there for you when times get tough.
"What I do know is that it gets easier with someone." I started my advice to Frederick.
"I didn't have anybody until Bu- James. Once I found James I found the comfort I had been looking for in someone. I think that he has helped me the most."

'You're gonna make me blush.'
Bucky's soft voice rang in my ear, he had been listening to my conversation. I tried my best not to smile at what he said. I kept my focus on Frederick who smiled at me. I took the opportunity to get my smiling over with by returning a look to him.

"Sounds like you really like him," Frederick commented. I remembered our mission, why I was there. I needed to be more alluring and interested in him.

"What if I am starting to like you more? What then?" I asked him, giving him a gentle wink from across the table. A smirk spread on his thin face as he got up from the table and walked towards the kitchen. He pulled the bottle of wine off the counter and came to refill my glass for me. He leaned down next to my ear and whispered in a low voice.

"Then I would say this dinner was well worth it." He placed a gentle kiss on my cheek to which I giggled and shied away in response to, solely to keep up the act I was putting on.

I began to feel guilty. Frederick was just like any normal man walking down the street. I found myself enjoying our conversations as we continued the dinner. The entree was steak with mashed potatoes and green beans. Everything was delicious, cooked to perfection. Frederick wasn't dangerous, he was hardly a threat. And here I was, putting a smile on my face knowing this would be the last day he was alive. I began to run through the options. How could I pull this off to where he lived, but Hydra thought he was gone? There was hardly any way that was possible.