The Only-Live-Once Society | Book 2

Chapter Thirteen

"I don't understand why you were in the tunnels for so long." Elijah presses.

"I got lost." I tell him again.

He stares at me. "With Vince? You got lost for almost an hour in the tunnels, with Vince?"

"No. I got lost and I found Vince."

"In the tunnels?"

"Yes, Elijah." I throw my hands up in the air in frustration. "I bumped into Vince in the tunnels! Do you want a vial of my blood to go with the endless interrogation?"

"You're lying."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"What do you want me to tell you?"

"I don't know, Amelia. Why don't we start with the truth?"

I punch out and he dodges. It feels good to fight him. Last night rolls off me with each punch. Even though our team won, Elijah doesn't care. All he cares about it why Vince and I emerged from the darkness together. He looked like a kid who had just been told Santa doesn't exist. He's been plying me with questions since, but I can't give him the answers - I can't give him any answers.

Now we're using our lunch break to take our frustrations out - of course that means literally hitting each other. Healthy coping mechanisms, you say? What are they?

"Did something happen, with you and him?"

I take a step back from him, "Like what?"

"Did you kiss again?"

"What? Of course not!"

"Then why won't you tell me what happened?"

"Nothing happened!"

He shoots out a leg to kick me, it knocks me to the ground. He stands over me, "I don't believe you."

I roll away and jump to my feet, landing a blow to the back of his legs and causing him to fall to his knees. I pull his head backwards, towards me, so he's looking at me upside down.

In a soft voice, I ask. "Do you not trust me?"

He blinks at me. "I do. But you're lying about this."

"If you trust me, then just listen to what I'm saying. Nothing happened."

We look at each other for a long while and I see his body relax. "Fine."

I kiss his cheek, "Thank you."

Noting is quite as gut-wrenching as having to lie to Elijah. Bare face lie to him. We both know I am, but he's a better person than me because he's willing to drop it. It's one little secret and it feels like it could ruin us. I've never lied to him before. I've never had to.

"Am I interrupting?"

We both turn and see Vince stood in the doorway, all long arms and muscle. He's leaning against the wall, looking at us.

"Yes." Elijah says, shaking me off and getting to his feet.

"What do you need?" I ask.

"You." He tells me, Elijah stiffens. "Mr. Goldsmith wants to see us. Said it's urgent."

I look at Elijah, waiting for his permission. He gives a short nod - far be it for him to disobey an order from his superior. He'd never dream of forcing me to out of petty jealousy.

I take Elijah's hand. "Meet here, later?"

Elijah looks from me to Vince and then back. He shrugs, "Sure."

But he doesn't seem sure. It's like he's put a wall up to keep me out. Like he's had enough of me - of this. I don't know what I can do to change that. I can't just banish Vince. We owe Vince my life.

I give his hand a squeeze and drop it, I don't look back as I leave.

"You could have waited." I tell Vince as we trundle towards the school.

He frowns. "Mr. Goldsmith said it's urgent."

"You could have said you couldn't find me."

"But I could."

I stop walking. "Elijah and I are walking on a tightrope. He knows I'm not being honest about last night. I know you have your mum back so you're happy. I'm happy for you. But I can't just ignore Elijah."

Vince steps forward and puts both hands on my shoulders, leaning in so he's staring into my eyes. "Elijah's insecure because he sees you as something weak he needs to protect. He has a saviour complex about you. He doesn't like me because he believes I saved you from Daniel."

"I don't think-"

"Amelia." He says my name with more seriousness then I've ever seen from him. "Since I've come to the school you haven't batted a flirty eyelid in my direction. You don't giggle at my jokes like some girls do, there isn't any tactile touching. Elijah knows you don't like me like that."

He takes a deep breath. "He thinks that it was hard for him because he wasn't with you when Daniel took you. He thinks I saved you and he hates that. I didn't. I freed you. The things Daniel did to you - no one should ever have to go through something like that. I'm glad you don't remember. But I do. Every night your screams filter in my dreams."

Vince steadies himself, like recounting what happened is hard. "Snyder would do the most depraved and sickening things to you. Then he'd dump your crumbled body in a cold, hard room for the night. No bed. No toilet. Just four concrete walls. And everyday you'd still have fight in you."

He pauses for a second, let's his words sink in. "You saved yourself. You put yourself back together every time. I freed you from his clutches, but I didn't really save you. I like that you all think that, it brought me comfort. But I was slow to move, scared to get caught. You were the bravest thing I'd ever seen. Your fear didn't quiet you, it woke you up."

He looks towards the barn and back me. "If you and Elijah breakdown it isn't because of me. It's because he can't see you as you are; someone who lost her parents and was tortured in the same year, someone who has been more beaten and broken then anyone we know, yet she's still ready to fight. He views you like a little lamb with shaky legs. He's terrified one day you'll realise you don't need him. Not as safety, nor comfort, nor for love. One day, you'll realise you can give yourself all of those things."

He releases me and straightens. "Mr. Goldsmith wants to see us."

I stand there, watching him stride away from me. My mouth bobbing up and down like a fish. For a fraction of a second I wish I could see myself the way he does. I don't feel strong or brave or loveable. I never have. It isn't until he's far enough away he's becoming a blob that I feel my legs begin to move.