Lean On Me

Ch. 6 Backpedaling

Emberleys POV

"Im-I-I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me." I stutter stepping away quickly, trying to figure out how to fix this. "Shh." He whispers putting his hands on his head nervously.

Me being me, I don't shh. I just get louder and more anxious.

"Coach!! What am I gonna do??? My moms will kill me- you'll get fired-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP DB!!" He yells inches from my face making me flinch back. "D-don't yell at me." I say defensively.

"THEN DONT RAMBLE LIKE AN IDIOT!! GOD, IM NOT LOSING MY JOB BECAUSE YOU WONT TELL ANYONE!!!" He yells once again moving closer and closer to me. Yelling loud enough to hurt my ears.

"I-"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry honey. You know I didn't mean it. I just got nervous and you were talking about talking about it! You know me! I'm sorry. We can- we can keep this a secret. Nobody has to know." He whispers with a slight smile and I nod.

"Nobody will know." I say smiling back to him, anxiously.

"Good honey. Good. We can do whatever you want. Was that your first kiss?"

I nod shyly and he smiles. "You were so good." He exclaims, almost treating me like a child.

"Get to practice. Remember, don't tell anyone." He says smiling weirdly at me.

I'm so fucked.

After a hard workout I walk to the station, trying to keep my mind from racing.

I walk into the station and I hear an angry maya.

"HOW DO YOU LOSE THAT????" She yells loud enough that I can hear her at the reception desk while she's in the beanery.

"Cap, she was so small and she just-"

"Give me another excuse Miller and I will personally make sure you end up cleaning EVERY ENGINE WE HAVE!"

"I'm sorry Maya. It was my fault." Jack says looking guilty. By this time nobody even noticed my presence. Andy and Vic are standing against the counter looking guilty, warren is cleaning dishes and Miller and Jack are standing in front of Maya who has her back turned to me.

"Okay 19!! Listen up!! We are on the lookout for this girl. She's small, frail, seems to have dirty blonde hair. She was rescued from an abusive situation!! When she is found, you will report to me!! Whether I'm on call or not!! Any scene we're on, you will keep your eyes open and looking for her!!"

They all nod and maya finally turns around. "Hey monkey! How was school??"

Other than the fact I kissed my coach?

"It was fine."

"I'm glad honey. Carinas home, you want her to come pick you up??"

I shake my head no and shrug. "I'll just walk there." I whisper smiling and she smiles back. "You don't have your phone so we can't check your 360. Make sure you watch your surroundings." I nod and I walk out of the beanery. "Bye kid!!" Miller yells and I smile. "Bye uncle Dean!!" And with that I'm on the road.

Now of course I'm going home eventually. But first I'm gonna stop and see my brother.

I just walk and walk and walk until I find myself standing in front of big gates that read "The Grove"

Slowly I step into the gated field and I begin my search.

I've never been to Raysons grave. I have no idea where it is and I have no idea how long it'll take me to find it.

Finally after what felt like hours of searching I find a small headstone that reads;

"Gone, but never forgotten. Rayson Reid Douglas, July 5, 2006-October 8, 2021"

I feel tears begin to prick my eyes and I can just feel myself grow enraged.

He was too good for this world.

"Young Lady?" I look up to see an older man staring at me contently.

"Yes sir?" I ask respectfully wiping away the small amount of tears I let fall.

"May I sit with you for a bit?"

I nod and he takes a seat next to me groaning as he reaches the ground.

"Who is this young man?" He asks gesturing to raysons name on the stone.

"My older brother."

"Ahhhh. I lost my brother too. I lost everyone and just a week ago I lost my beloved wife."

I look up to him with hurt written on my face and he tsks.

"No, no honey. Don't cry. I'm old, if you can't tell. Life is all about losing people and gaining them. I've lost all I can. Now all I can do is gain." He says with a small smile making my heart break.

"H-how do you do it?" I ask looking down to Raysons stone, feeling the familiar angry feeling that was in my chest.

"Well, I could tell you it gets better. But who wants to hear that bullshit? It doesn't get better. In fact, it gets worse. But the grass is greener where you water it. Sure, I've lost everyone in my life. I've even lost myself a few times, but I remind myself that the only way my life will get better, is if I fight. If I give up, life won. So I fight. Can I tell you something?" I nod and he smiles softly.

"You remind me of my wife, dawn. She was a breath of fresh air. She was always mad at the world and she hated anything that had to do with bright and cheery. She was stubborn. Oh she was the most stubborn woman I had met. But you know what? She was strong. She kicked life's ass. It seems like you're doing that right now."

I smile shyly and I chuckle. "Thank you sir."

He nods and he sighs. "Thank you for talking with a lonely old man honey. I'm sure that brother of yours is proud." And with that, he stands slowly, and walks away.

I sit at his grave for what feels like hours, just looking down on it.

This is so fucked. It's about to be a year since he died, and I've accomplished nothing. I haven't bettered myself. I haven't made him proud.

Slowly I stand up, I walk over to a large oak tree, and I take a swing on it.

The pain in my knuckles helps to relieve the pain in my heart.

Soon enough, I have bloody hands and a few dislocated knuckles. I look up and see pieces of my skin on the tree.

Now it's time to go home.

QOTD
Do y'all like body armors? Like the drinks?