The only reason I was late is that I was contemplating if I should come or not. I didn't want to be the guy who panicked and bailed but I also didn't want to be the guy who's twenty and a father.
"I didn't schedule an appointment. It's just walk-in and an ultrasound." I looked down at her stomach and saw it was as flat as it was when I last saw her. "Quick, right?"
I nodded slowly and then cleared my throat when a nurse walked past us. "What exactly do you think we'll be seeing? You're so early on and... not showing." She shrugged at me although I died inside for a more specific answer. "You know that I will be here for you no matter what they say. One hundred percent not leaving your side. I made my mind up in the drive here." I held my palm up towards her and she simply looked at it.
Pulling her jacket taut around her body; she wiped a tear from her eye with her sleeve. "Can we sit in quiet for now? Please." We both looked straight ahead to the busy workers and the people who were here for various reasons. I wondered if they were here for the same reason. Maybe there's was planned or very unexpected. Very unexpected was not a good feeling.
"Teshia?" The nurse I saw previously stopped in front of her with a clipboard in her hand. "Do you have a ride?" She nodded and then looked at me. "You must be Christopher. She has you listed right here." She marked something on the piece of paper and then smiled once again. "You can follow me to the back alone or he can join you. Whatever you choose."
"It'll be quick," she assured before getting up from her seat to follow the nurse to the back.
I felt like I was sitting here for hours eagerly waiting to hear something other than babies crying, people sneezing, and a kids' network on the smallest television I have seen in my life. I don't know exactly what she was doing. Would we find out if it's a boy or a girl? Maybe she wants to have one of those gender reveals that are super popular among people my age.
I'm not ready to be a father. If I run out now would it look bad? I should just tell her that I'm not ready. Maybe she'll realize she's not ready either. I know she's not. Money is an issue. She has no job. I bet she moved back home with her parents. It would be left all up to me to carry the load yet there's nothing more I want than to be with Nova.
Oh god, Nova. What would I tell her? Plans are canceled because I'm a fuck up. All the things I promised. Leaving to LSU for baseball. Her getting into the nurses program. Having to give up my house for one with two bedrooms and safety plastic electricity plugs all over the place. Where is my youth? Who will I be after this? Definitely not the person I wanted to be.
"First time?" A man with graying hair sat right in Teshia's old spot while looking straight through my soul. I nodded even though I'm not sure what he was talking about but I hope he was talking about what I thought he is. "Fifth for me. We come here for prenatal vitamins and checkups. Real cheap." My mouth kinda fell open. I forgot that some people have one and then they just don't stop. "It's a boy. We already have two of those."
The door to the backrooms flew open and there exited Teshia. Everything I wanted to respond to that man went out the window as I almost tripped over myself to meet her at the front counter.
"Now you take the second dose in 24 to 48 hours. It is very important you do so in a timely manner or we'll have to do this all over again. Most women don't want to do that and others realize they change their minds and don't take the last dose at all. It's a time frame to give you a moment to think."
She scribbled down her signature for the nurse to keep then turned to face me with a weak smile on her face. "Can you take me home?"
"Is that all you're going to say? No news on what went down back there? Is it healthy? Are you... okay?"
"I just need to go home and rest. I'd appreciate that."
I decided it was best not to pressure her anymore so we went out to my mom's car and I did exactly what she wanted me to do and that is get her home safe and sound. What I thought would be our last quick and final goodbye turned into her breaking down on me. It happened right in front of her dad's house and I started to panic that they might think I was the reason for her tears.
"Did you ever love me?" She asked through the tears. "Because I loved you. I think I loved you too hard though. Apart of me wanted you all to myself and another knew that was so wrong of me. It was wrong because it made me angry all the time when I saw you with everyone else." She wiped a few more tears from her face. "It was always you. I was confused and I made some mistakes-"
"And I moved on... I would never want to hurt you. I never wanted to make you feel left out or isolated. I tried to make you happy every moment we were together." I looked at her and she let a few more drops leave her eyes. "I wanted to be the boyfriend I should have been in the past but... I never felt the same. I'm sorry Teshia. I just wanted to make things right and I'm still going to for you, me, and the ba-"
"There is no baby!" She dropped her hands onto her soaked palms while I slowly took my hand off her shoulder. "I could never have a child by someone who wants nothing to do with me! After tomorrow there is no baby and there never will be." She opened the car door with weakness I figured I should go around and help her but she was already out the door. "Goodbye, Kit. And thank you."
The moment the door closed I was lost once again. All the worries I felt within the last three hours suddenly walked out the car and now I didn't know how to respond. I didn't know what this means.
YOU ARE READING
Just A Girlfriend (BWWM) ✅
Fiksi Remaja"It was always you. I was confused and I made some mistakes-" "And I moved on." - Kit is a college dropout who returns to his home town where he struggles to find his place in life. Right with him is Teshia who he reunited with in college but she is...
