Teddy

Chapter Six: Wren is one/ A christmas Wish

The weeks leading to Christmas Eve are of course mixed, with tears, laughter, and memories are everywhere, but we were all here and all together. Harpers school was closed for the Christmas break and as was Willa's and so they stayed here in Oregon so we could all remain together.

Harper and I decided to take Wren to get my Momma a Christmas tree, because in all of the heartache it was the last thing on her mind and we needed it for the memorial tonight for our father.

Wren was strapped to my chest, facing outward in her snowsuit, her chubby cheeks sticking out the front, they were all you could see as you peeked around to see her reactions to the lights and the music.

The farm we went to looked like a grotto with lights strung up all over, of every colour, my favourite, the music was peaceful and joyful and I couldn't help the way it lifted my sorrow if only for a fleeting moment.

Harper walked close, her hand lingering beside mine as we walked amongst the trees. We stopped periodically for Wren to smell them, with Harper and I, as we judged and admired each types scent.

"Please bear in mind Teddy that you are the strongest of us two, and you currently have a three hundred and sixty day old attached to your chest. So, let's go small with the tree...yeah" Harper suggests looking to me a little worried as I admire a six foot spruce.

I raise my eyebrows "I think you are stronger than you think... and I like it" I say looking back to it and then to her.

"I'm not" she says bluntly with a hint of humour "your momma would not appreciate that in her house... her yard perhaps"

I look back to it, it's generous bushy green body calling to me, it's height a little daunting but it's scent and look is perfect "Harper, we go big at Christmas"

She looks at me confused "who does" she asks.

I gesture between us both with a gloved hand "we do"

She frowns "we've only spent one Christmas together... last year" she says confused.

"Yes and what did we do? We brought this little miracle into the world" I say holding Wrens legs in her puffed up suit and sticking them out toward Harper, which made her giggle as I wiggled her "we literally made a baby last Christmas... and so that is our Christmas baseline, as Claudia my therapist would say... so you see" I say looking to her with raised eyebrows "we go big... you and I... we go big" I say releasing Wrens legs and holding my arms spread as I mouth "BIG" dramatically.

Harper is amused and shakes her head "so you want us... no you want me to cart this huge tree back to the car" she asks and I shake my head.

"No you don't?" she asks curiously tilting her head, her warm green bobble hat making her look completely adorable.

"Oh, no" I say pointing up toward it "this isn't big enough... Harper does this tree look bigger than our baby" I ask.

She frowns "yes about five foot bigger"

I roll my eyes "I mean is it more impressive than you pushing a baby out of you?"

"Oh god no" she says and she hands Wren a rice cake from her bag as she begins to fuss.

I look back to her excitedly "so we go bigger" I ask seeking confirmation.

Harper nods regretfully but can't help but smile "Yes Ted, we go bigger" she finally gives in.

I smile, a little mischievously "I'm so glad we are on the same Christmas page"