Warmagic

35 - A Father's choice

The fallen, rotten log was covered in soft moss and inedible mushrooms. The sun was setting and I was happy I had managed to run this far through the dense forest. If they had noticed I was gone, they surely had no idea where to look.

I was no idiot, and neither was Bjarke, he knew where I was going. That is why I had chosen a path that would take longer, but gave me a chance to get rid of any pursuers. So far the forest had been calm, no one followed me, not even his tainted animals or whatever friends he had in the shadows.

I was used to carrying a heavy shield on my arm but carrying a child was something else. Luckily the boy did not seem to mind, he even kept quiet most of the time and I wondered if there was something else troubling him. When I ran I was happy that he seemed content, but when I slowed down dark thoughts enveloped my mind. What if he was ill and the curse had affected his mind as well. What if he wouldn't be able to run and play with children his own age? What if he would never speak or laugh?

Whenever my mind wandered like that I closed my eyes and reminded myself that Vidar would know what to do. How I longed for his calm demeanour and his strong arms who could make me feel so safe and protected. Never had I thought I would crave that feeling from someone else. But I did.

Gently, I placed the child in a sitting position and leaned his back against the tree trunk.

"It will take us a few weeks, Ari, but as soon as we arrive I promise you that you won't have to be scared again. You will be safe there with them and with me."

The boy looked at me with his big eyes and smiled. He had all of my features, there was no doubt he was my son. My eye colour and his hair was the same as mine, but the shape of his nose was just as cute as his mother's. Noora, I thought, why had I dragged that gentle soul into this?

I opened a pouch and grabbed the berries I had found along the way and placed them in my son's lap. He started eating eagerly and soon his light skin was as red as the food he'd stuffed his mouth with.

"I have bread too, but we should save that for later," I said, knowing he wouldn't understand. Eventually we would be out of food, and how could I explain that to a one year old baby?

That night we fell asleep cuddled up together, hiding in a burrow, protected from curious eyes and wicked fae. Who knew what monsters he worked with to create his foul magic.

The passing days, I kept my eyes on the sun. I needed to travel east if I was to get closer to my old home. I had never been to Hamarr- pack territory but it wasn't far from where I grew up, that I knew.

The fog was thick in the mornings and the cold made my determination falter but each morning my feet would go on at a steadfast pace, searching for berries and mushrooms. As the temperature rose, so did my spirits, but only for a short while.

The sun was rare in these parts of the woods. The crowns of the trees were high in the sky and did not allow much light down to the mossy ground. It made the air feel raw and damp, and the shadows dark. But most of all I had trouble knowing which direction to go. Usually I would let the sun guide me, but that was nearly impossible.

I had been walking like that for days, guessing my way through the forest, surviving on the morning dew I gathered from leaves and plants. And rationing tiny blueberries to my son, knowing he would cry even worse after because he could only have two at a time.

Eventually I felt defeated and sank down on the ground, a crying baby in my lap, no food in sight and I had no clue where to go. If it wasn't for Ari I would have given up right then and there, but I didn't. Instead, I decided we needed some rest, and a warm fire.

I scanned the forest floor, but the only firewood I found was wet – and in the end the fire was nonexistent. After a few more tries, I had to abandon my plan and picked up my child to keep him warm in my arms instead. The boy settled in without a word. Maybe he felt my exhaustion, or maybe he was just too weak from not eating a proper meal in days. I held him tighter to my chest in desperate need to feel his tiny heartbeat against me.

Underneath the wide branches of a tall pine-tree we fell asleep together with growling stomachs. For the first time since we left Skal, I was worried for my son's life, and my confidence was nowhere to be found.

I opened my eyes and met the orbs of a wolf, it was shimmering white and its eyes were as bright as the moon. It stared at me for a while ordering me in silence to move.

I carefully stood on my feet, trying my best not to wake Ari, as he was still sleeping in my arms. But as soon as I rose up, the wolf turned and started to walk along a path I had not noticed the day before, creating glimmering footprints in the ground. I left our things behind, keeping all of my focus on the four legged creature in front of me.

A deep voice entered my mind and spoke to me,"follow me down the path, I will walk beside you."

"You're a spirit," I said as I did what it asked, and I walked down the clear path. Why had I not noticed it before?

"I will guide you and show you the way," it continued, "I will not leave you."

I felt a sense of calm wash over me as I realised this was not real. This was a vision, this was a spirit showing me the way. "You are not the Mother-Wolf. Are you her child?" I asked curiously, taking in all of my surroundings and trying to remember every leaf and tree we passed.

The wolf stopped and turned its head to meet my eyes, "if you feel alone and lost, close your eyes and you will see six footprints, two belong to you and four belong to me. Then you will know that I have not left you."

And suddenly it was gone, and I woke up.