Rehab looks bad

Routine

Izuku's pov
I yawned and stretched out, Jade on my lap purring, Iida had came and woke me up to eat even though I've told him not to so many times. Lately I've been kinda done, done with eating, done with people, done with life, all I wanted to do was sleep. Iida walks out into the dining room setting food down in front of me and sitting beside me at the table ,I continue to keep my eyes closed petting Jade as Iida eats. "Izuku" Iida says almost in a dad tone, "what?" I snap back at him opening my one eye that could actually see and looking at him, "I just want to warn you RedRiot said he was bring over Dynamite and Shoto for your house inspection today." I sigh and close my eye again, I hate these so called "inspections" they were really just to ruin my privacy and mess up my house that was provided for me luckily by my mom. "You haven't had one in 6 months Izuku." "What's the point of having you here if it means they still have to do these so called "check ups" I sass back air quotes in the air, "You should be thankful Izuku that I'm not here all the time or worse the fact that you could still be in that home, but your not your here. Now please eat and maybe take a shower today?" Iida asks, I decide to listen and so with that I open my eyes fully and pick up a thing of bacon.

After I finished eating I asked Iida if I could go shower to which he luckily said yes. He always forced me to eat at least something every time there's normally a meal, if I didn't eat enough he'd keep me at the table until I did. One of the first times he fed me I didn't eat anything and I tired to leave to which he blocked the door telling me it was for my own good, I ended up getting mad and I stabbed him in the hand with a fork luckily he didn't tell anyone but he still has the scars from it being all the way through his hand, I also got a stern talking to and could only use plastic utensils for months. I put Jade down and walked up the stairs deciding not to get the small knife in my bedside table drawer. I liked cutting myself in the shower and really anywhere else it was the only way I could satisfy myself and I wasn't sure why. Seeing blood was just....so hypnotic idk when it started if it was before or after the league but I know after the league I had been diagnosed with multiple different illnesses like, bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, severe ptsd, minor personality disorder, minor asthma, and what they thought could be a tumor in my head they never fully looked into, I have a different pill for each one which Iida helps me to take and make sure I don't overdose. I stepped into the bathroom slowly turning on the water and taking off my clothes letting them drop to the floor, I look at myself in the mirror fully naked looking over the scars I had everywhere I couldn't even remember what from and touching my hair it looking sad, it was darker then it used to be and less fluffy, I also ran my hand on my tattoo on my chest (01 as shown in previous chapter pic) . I then started into the eyes, oh how I hated those eyes starting at me in the mirror, they weren't my eyes I could tell that much from the way they had gotten less wide and innocent and the scar I had in the middle of my pupil being dragged through the rest of my left eye. My right was red around the edge of my iris and I could see all the veins in it...how tired I was...how unhappy I looked..it was great... I take one last look at myself before turning around and getting into my cold shower. I was happy for the fact Iida was so lenient with me letting me have a shower curtain letting me have doors closed and allowing me to be on the internet, it still had some downsides but they're getting better, when I first started Iida stayed in the house in a room right next to mine, my only source of entertainment being the radio and a few books, I couldn't make myself food or leave the house even. Now I'm better though..that's what Iida says, I'm allowed to be outside but there is still a barrier that if I step over, my house arrest band on my ankle will go off making hero's rush to the scene..learned that the hard way (ok now I'm thinking about that scene in ant man and the wasp with him and his daughter but it's Eri and deku and AHHH) I'm allowed to make myself food now and be on the internet too just can't comment or post anything or contact anyone but Iida,911,and yeah that's pretty much it. OH I'm also allowed to see Eri for an hour on weekends if I'm good and if she's not to busy. Of course it's supervised though and it's not like we can do anything all that fun..stupid hero's..I promised her though when I get out I'd take her all over the place and we'd have too much fun that she couldn't even handle it, in a way she's the only reason why I keep fighting though my depression and all my other problems in life. I can die happy if I could just take her out for a day, even when I was in the league I'd break into the Aizawa's and see her..that's kinda the only thing I could remember from the league..so why would I hurt her?
Did Iida say Dynamite was coming over
'Shut up'
I say in my head not wanting to think of him and I slide down the tub wall and onto the floor,
You should be happy, this is your chance-
"Shut up!" I scream pulling at my hair and I hear foot steps running up the stairs "Izuku!" I hear as someone throws open the door and pulls back the shower curtain.