Rehab looks bad

Dreams

(This chapter does actually get very into the suicidal aspect of things and idk how y'all feel about that but yeah it involves Izuku cutting himself to the point that he's lightheaded so um trigger warning) 
(Also there will be a bit of naughty things in the words of Kiri "I guess he's still a man right?"😏)

Izuku's POV
"I needed a soldier, you wanted a father"
"Well I guess we're both disappointed then"
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Get up
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I wake up screaming and breathing heavily, "Izuku!" Katsuki screams as he runs into my room, I continue to breathe heavily but stop screaming when I realize where I am. Katsuki comes and sits on my bed hugging me in a tight embrace as I sob, "it's ok it's not real your safe it's ok..." Katsuki says sweetly to me and I hug him back. It was real...at some point these things they happened. Katsuki's been living with me for about a week now and I've been having more frequent nightmares about...AFO...it's not been great.
I crawl up into Katsuki's lap as he plays with my hair knowing it calms me, "I still would like you to tell me about these nightmares one day..." he questions more than asks I just ignore him and try to relax into him, it was about four in the morning and I still wanted to sleep but damn if my mind was going to let me...........we sit, him cradling me and gently playing with my hair almost like he's petting me, and me, fiddling with the hem of my shirt trying to calm myself. I watch as Jade snakes in through the little crack in my door and jumps onto my bed pawing at my foot a bit before kneading my blanket and laying down, I smile and close my eyes finally relaxing enough to speak, "we should probably go back to sleep todays my first therapy session with you around" I state but don't get out of Katsuki's lap. We all stay in the same spot for a while Jade peacefully sleeping at my feet, me in Katsuki's lap, and him holding me. "Your right..." Katsuki agrees and he lays me down and then gets in bed with me, "What are you doing-" "I'm comforting you" "You don't need too I-" "It's ok Izu, relax..." I stay there for awhile before beginning to freak out, "It really is ok I have a coping method it's fine-" "it's ok Izu" he says and I start to fight him, I push at him and knee him in the stomach waking Jade although she doesn't move, but he just traps me in a...is it a hug...I can't tell, "Katsuki-" I whisper and he starts to mess with my hair shushing me slightly, "I- Katsuki-" this is something Iida used to do before he- he abandoned me- Katsuki sure has learned a lot-"thank you Izuku..." Shit mumbling- I decide to just shut up and try to sleep but every time I do...
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"You failed me"
"NO YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DID THIS TO ME!!!"
"01 I did nothing to you"
"NO YOUR TRYING TO MAKE ME SOUND CRAZY BUT IM NOT I- IM- I'm..."
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I scream and kick and cry and now I'm thankful Katsuki stayed with me to calm me. "It's ok I'm here, I'm here, I know" Katsuki consuls me as I cry to him for the 4 th time in an hour. After I calm down I ask, "what time is it?" (It's time for lunch- SHUT UP-) "It's about 6ish" " I think I wanna start the day you can still sleep I'll just be downstairs, I might take a shower..." I explain and I feel him tense, "Are you sure you'll be ok" he asks unsure and not trustworthy, "I'll be fine Katsuki" I say and I can still feel him questioning his next decision, "I'll stay up here in my room if you'd like that bette I have my phone and some books I could stay here until you wake up?",he hums in agreement getting up and walking to his room looking tired. After I hear his door shut I grab my small knife from my drawer and then walk to the bathroom grabbing a towel making sure to slide the knife in between the folds so you can't easily see it. I close the bathroom door and turn on the shower
Cold
I twist the nob so it's on cold and put my towel with my knife in it on the sink. I get in and after washing my hair I sit down, the water tickling me slightly, I reach for my towel and pull out my knife, I look at it for awhile twirling it in my hands before gently bring it to my left wrist...
CUTT
God was it pretty...
SLICE
Mmmmm...
RIPPPPP
CRYING
ASSHOLE
CRYBABY
QUIRKLESS
BITCH
SLUT
USELESS
BETTER GONE
DIE
DIE
DIE
Die...
I feel like I blacked out for a minute and when I look down I'm covered in crimson, I sigh and stand up shakily, washing my wounds. I get out wrapping myself in my towel before wrapping bandages around my wrist, 'I'm lucky...' I think as I walk to my bedroom seeing Jade no longer there. I'm lucky I have the gift that I have to heal faster than most, I figured that out after awhile and have been using that to my advantage, the first time I hurt myself I had wrapped it up and in about an hour when I removed the bandages all the cuts where gone...I grab a thing of trail mix out of my drawer and lay on my bed scrolling on my phone and eating until I feel a bit better. I mindlessly Google Dynamite and am met with news article after news article and countless pieces of information about him, the occasional article about me and him when I was still in action. I come to an article about him being out of commission for some mystery person and then I snap back to reality, 'hey that's me...I'm that mystery person' I think and I put down my phone and unwrap my towel letting it drop to the floor, I look at myself in the mirror and picture myself with Katsuki...
🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

His big strong arms wrapped around my small shaking form, his deep red eyes glaring into my dark emerald ones, our hair sticking to our faces sweaty and wanting more, our bodies moving together just right, moaning, loving the way we feel together, his size, his hands, his face, his hair-
Izuku what has gotten into you...I look down to see I had gotten aroused already dripping with an embarrassing amount of pre. I sigh and go into my closet and into my box I decided to grab a good sized 8 in. Orange dildo with a lot of girth, I walk back to my bed making sure my door is shut tightly. I lay down and gently start stroking myself gasping slightly I imagine it's Katsuki's hands on me as I move my fingers down to my entrance, I slowly push them in and let out a moan finally getting to my coping method. I push my fingers in and out working myself open as I continue to think of Katsuki, I haven't done this since he moved in, was I scared to or was it because I never had the time to? Either way I was glad I could. I pulled my fingers out after a few minutes and groaning grab the dildo and quickly shove it inside of myself. "AhHhhH- Katsuki~" I moan as I start to move it in and out of me thrusting harshly, "Katsuki- Mmm~ hah-" I breathe out and stop moving it positioning myself so my face is pressed into my pillows Katsuki was just laying on with me just over an hour ago , I can still smell him, his faded Cologne and ashy scent mixed with a sweet thing I couldn't ever quite place, I stick my ass in the air and then continue to shove the cock inside of me. "Katsuki- KATsuki- more more more please-" I pled and I'm lucky my face was shoved into the pillows because damn I'm loud, "Katsuki- please- please~~ more!" I scream and start to thrust the thing inside of my ass faster and harder thinking about Katsuki giving me that satisfaction. "GOD- please- more more please god your so big- MMMM~"