Greek myths but on crack

Ariadne

ART NOT MINE

Ariadne taking a walk through her home, Crete, when she saw the line of Athenians going to the labyrinth. Ariadne - being the goddess of labyrinths - decided to look closer at the people. One Teen caught her eye. She later found the cute teen was a male named Theseus, the prince of Athens. 

Ariadne, not wanting to see him die, gave the teen a sword and a ball of glowing yarn. Sure she was telling him to kill her step-brother, but he was a half cow slob, who wouldn't want someone like that dead? 

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The Minotaur was dead, and Ariadne was on the island of Naxos. The Athenians asked her to join them. She would have been a fugitive, so better to be on the run than caught. 

Ariadne went to sleep that night ready for a long voyage ahead, but she never got it. 

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Ariadne had awoke the next morning to find no boat, no people, and no Theseus...

She looked around the shore trying to find anyone. "have they forgot about me?" She thought "Maybe they relocated and are still on the island!" Ariadne walked around Naxos panicked for what felt like hours, then she felt a hand on her shoulder. 

"Hey you look kind of stressed, care for a drink?" 

"Sorry sir, I have to find the boat leaving for Athens!" 

"You mean the boat from Crete? That boat left early this morning." Ariadne started crying as the stranger put his cup on a flattened rock and held her. They stayed like that before the man offered her a drink again, this time she accepted. 

The two ended up sitting on the sand, leaving there feet in the shallow water. Ariadne had talked to the male for a while, and she realized she never learned his name. She opened her mouth to ask but he struck first.

"You are truly the most beautiful woman in all of Greece, probably one of the kindest too. Would you make me the luckiest go- man alive and marry me?" 

"I- uh- Yes!"

She had completely forgot her previous question, a lovely pink tinting around her cheeks. The man chuckled a bit before wrapping an arm around her.

"My name is Dionysus by the way."

"My name is Ariadne- wait! Dionysus, the god of insanity!?"

"Among other things yes, but I don't see how that should matter."

"Your a god! How does it not matter?" 

"Ariadne, (that's what your name was right) you are a goddess." Dionysus smirked. He leaned closer to her and kissed her cheek. "Not to mention you did just accept a proposal from a random person on a beach. I could have been Pirithous for all you knew."

"Ok fair..."

"Hey how 'bout I take you to Mount Olympus! We get married and spend our honeymoon there!"

"S-sure!"

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464 words

Ariadne and Dionysus are the fastest couple to ever get married, convince me other wise.