My World

Chapter 4: Memories Coming Back

After dinner that evening, I went up into my bedroom, and just sat on my bed looking at my phone. I decided to look at my old pictures and without noticing I scrolled all the way back to when my mom was still alive. I remembered how she used to always tease me when she picked me up from school and I was hanging out with some girls.

I was almost always hanging out with a group of girls that were my main best friends. I was never able to truly get along with other boys at my age. I have no clue why, but I was always getting along with a particular group of kids. So mom always said that they were my girlfriends. But they were just my friends.

I had one boy who was my age that I got along with. And that was the friend who I was with when mom overdosed. I haven't chatted with him since then, and I still have his number. I should text and see how he is doing. I thought.

Hey dude, haven't talked to you in a while, what have you been up to?

The text said that, and all of a sudden, I was stressed out. What if he didn't remember me, what if he didn't want to talk to me. And when I saw that he was typing a response I kind of calmed down. He replied to the text saying:

Hey man, why haven't you been texting me? I haven't heard from you in over five years.

So I told him about the whole thing with mom dying and my dealing with depression. He completely understood why I never texted him. Then I told him about getting my first date, and as I expected he teased me a tiny bit. But then congratulated me for being able to get over the depression and actually become a part of society.

But then he told me that he was going to bed because it was almost midnight where he lived. So I told him goodnight and that I'd talk to him tomorrow. And I just continued scrolling on my phone.

After a few hours I noticed that the time was 1 in the morning. So I rushed to pack my backpack and get my clothes ready for tomorrow, and went to bed.

The day was slow, so after school I decided to invite Jenn over.

"Hey Jenn," I said. "Would you like to come over to work on homework in a few?"

"Sure," Jenn said. "I will sit with ya on the bus and get off with you."

"Okay sounds good." I replied.

We climbed into the bus and just chatted about what happened during our days. Then when it was just us left on the bus, because my house is the last stop, we were listening to most of the NF songs I had downloaded.

Finally my house came, and we got off. I unlocked the door because dad wasn't home just yet.

"Welcome to my home, again." I said.

"Thanks," She replied. "I just noticed that you never have your mom home, does she work as well?"

"Oh," I said, in a lower tone. "She... She died 5 years ago."

"Oh my gosh!" She replied. "I'm sorry. What happened, do you know?"

"Yeah, we know." I said. "For a while I blamed myself, and that is why I didn't look very approachable when you first met me."

"Oh," She said. "Why did you blame yourself?"

"My mom left a note," I said. "I'll let you read it."

I search where my dad keeps all our files and notes. Jenn just stood there watching. My brain is going wild with all the thoughts. After what felt like hours I found it, and Jenn wasn't where she was when I started looking for the note.

I wander into the living room expecting her to be sitting on the couch. She wasn't there though. I look all around downstairs and then go upstairs. When I walk past my room I see her sitting on my bed.

"Were you bored of just standing there waiting?" I asked.

"Yeah," She replied. "So I wandered your house and found your room."

"Okay." I said. "Well here is the note."

I hand her the note, and she reads it.

I am sorry, I couldn't deal with all the stress from working and helping Alex with his homework. I sent him to his friend's house so that he didn't have to see me like this. I feel bad for doing this the day before Alex's birthday but I felt like I couldn't any longer to end it. I left some money on the table to pay for the burial, but I am truly sorry for leaving. Bye forever.

I saw Jenn starting to cry and I felt bad. So I walked over and hugged her, and whispered into her ear:

"You're the reason I didn't do the same thing mom did."

I felt her relaxing her head against my shoulder. That is where we sat for the next half hour. I was telling her about how I never had one home, and was always moving. And I also told her that if she never had entered my life, I would have done the same thing my mother did.

"Hey," I said excitedly. "Would you like to go get some coffee and get some dinner?"

"Yeah definitely!" Jenn replied happily.

"Okay!" I said. "My dad has my car at the shop, so we will have to take our skateboards."

"That's okay." She said.

We went to the best sandwich shop in town, SubWay. And we got our sandwiches and went to the park. Jenn and I sat at a bench and watched the sunset while we ate our sandwiches.

"Well I gotta work tomorrow." I said, "So I should probably get home."

"Okay," Jenn replied. "I should get home as well, I am surprised my mom or dad hasn't called me yet."

"Alright!" I said. "Well, I will talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay!" She said.