"I left you for a reason."[Soukoku]

Part 13

*Dazai's POV*

"..What?"

   Chuuya just stared at me, confusion and shock written all over his face. His hands were still on my face, his grip had tightened.

There was just silence, maybe I shouldn't have said that.

He was shaking. "Can I— erm.." He paused, he looked hesitant to say anything. I don't know what he was going to say but I looked down at him before reaching his hands and caressing them. I think I knew what he was going to say but, I don't want to get my hopes up. His face was pink and he looked nervous. His eyes kept flickering from my eyes to my lips, I knew it.

I just moved in as soon as he opened his mouth to speak again. My lips met his.

He flinched before reciprocating the kiss and wrapping his hands around my neck. I felt like crying again, I missed him so much. I wrapped my hands around his waist, moving my head in different angles to kiss Chuuya. He had licked my bottom lip as a way to ask for entrance. I chuckled before opening my mouth.

Ah, there goes the piercing. The way it moved and hit my tongue as we collided made chills fall down my spine. Chuuya had pressed me closer to him to the point my back was hurting due to slouching and I had subconsciously slid into his lap in the heat of the moment. His hand was practically pulling my hair out. Just for that, I pulled one hand away from his waist to loosen it in his hair, practically pulling out his ponytail.

If we hadn't pulled away this instance, we both would've died from lack of oxygen.

So there we were, panting heavily in each other's arms, our hands stuck in each other's hair.

"I still love you." I blurted out, tears welling up in my eyes. Chuuya was staring at me, no expression on his face. I couldn't help the the tears running down my cheeks from looking at his expressionless face.

Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Maybe he thinks I'm lying. He definitely does. But to my surprise, he just kissed me again. It was a smooth, soft, tender kiss.

'Just like our first kiss.' Is all I could think about.

He pulled away, wiping the tears that continued to flow. Wow, the amount of times i've cried this past hour exceed the amount of times i've cried these past four years.

He sighed, "You left me." I looked up to see him looking at the bed. Avoiding to look at my face.

"I know."

"Without explanation."

"I know."

"After four years of being together, twelve years of being side to side, it was like it meant nothing to you."

"It did. It meant the world to me." I mumbled, Chuuya's hand had slithered into my own. He was shaking. I couldn't tell if it was due to anger or sorrow.

"If it did, why'd you still leave." He finally looked up at me, tears welling up in his eyes. I've never seen so much hurt, in those blue, precious eyes. It felt like a knife to the heart.

I paused. "Because Mori wouldn't have let me stay." I stared at him, his expression changed from hurt to furious.

So. Much. Anger.

"Mori?! Why?! He's your mentor not your fucking dad!" Chuuya yelled, removing himself away from me and standing on his feet now. "Chuuya-" I tried to speak but he cut me off, "No! What did he say that was so important that you cut a twelve year friendship?!" Chuuya yelled once more, making me sigh. "Well, if you let me speak then maybe you'll find out." I said, leaning into Chuuya's face.

His face blew red, and out of reflex pulled away from me. "Sorry, I forgot about communication." I just chuckled, the bed slowly sunk as he sat next to me. I smiled at him, placing a small kiss on his cheek. He jumped, his face blew red.

"A day before graduation. I had finally finished Project-Neo. I-" I paused. The next thing I was about to say, would make Chuuya run away this instant. I looked at him. He gave me a confused expression. "You what?" He asked, his hand on my thigh.

Fuck it.

"Remember that one thing Aki mentioned...?" I mumbled, my hand on top of the one Chuuya put on my thigh.

He looked confused. "Aki says a lot of shit, you gotta be more specific, Samu." Chuuya asked, putting more pressure onto my thigh. I sighed, "About the proposing thing, you idiot. That part was true." I mumbled, turning away from Chuuya. "..What..? But we were only 18-" I cut him off. "So? I loved you that much to propose to you. Are you gonna let me finish now?" He froze, his eyes dropped before nodding slowly.

"Like I was saying, I brought the idea up to Mori. I told him,I wanted to marry you and run away from Japan." Chuuya's hand tightened. "He.. He didn't quite like that idea. He shot it down immediately, saying he needs me to make more projects like Project-Neo. I didn't want to do that, I wanted to live my life with you. Spend the rest of it with you. He, that piece of shit. Threatened to hurt you, Chuuya." I looked at Chuuya, his face was full of shock. "I know this doesn't make sense, he threatened to use his 'connections' to have you killed. I couldn't do that. So I didn't go with my plan, I couldn't think of a plan to save you without you thinking I was being delusional. So I did the only thing that'll keep you safe. I broke up with you. Distanced myself from you, I couldn't tell Ikuto because I don't have evidence and it'll be too stressful and complicated for him." I finished, I waited in silence for a response from Chuuya.

"..How'd you get him off your tail..?"

"For the next two years I needed to do what he wanted, he sold my projects on the black market, that was until I made Project-Shuuji. Project-Shuuji was an innovation that stopped his business for good. His underground business was trashed by Project-Shuuji, let's just say, it caused a bit of an explosion and Mori is currently in a coma." I slightly chuckled, Chuuya made a sound of disbelief before breaking out into laughter.

"You- You-" He couldn't even finish his sentence, he just flopped onto my bed in laughter. I couldn't help but smile at him, I haven't seen such a scene in four years. His laughter was dying and he turned to me. I guess he saw I was staring because his smile dropped and he sat up, he stared into my eyes, leaning closer and closer. Our lips met once more into a kiss, a smooth, nice one. I kissed him back, my hand was gently placed on his cheek and his hand had wrapped around my waist.

When he pulled away, he let out a long sigh. Both his arms wrapped around my waist, letting his head fall into my shoulder. "You went through all of this, and I acted like a complete asshole ignoring every single sign of you in my life. I couldn't even look at brunettes without thinking of you. That's how much I still loved you. I couldn't let you go no matter how I tried. Every time I was with Fyodor, my mind would slip from time to time and replace Fyodor with you."

Oh.

Oh.

He still loves me.

He still loves me.

He still loves me.

I was filled with so much joy, I felt as if I was a teenager all over again. I immediately wrapped my hands around him and pulled him into a tight embrace. He made a sound but reciprocated, pushing his face into the crook of my neck.

"How about I take you on a date tomorrow, Nakahara?"

"I'd like that.."

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Umm

I'm going to pretend I didn't disappear for over four months. I know this is pretty short, I'm still working on stuff rn. I have a bunch of unfinished works but schools getting in the way and I broke my wrist two months ago so I couldn't really work stuff. I'll be sure to finish part 14 around 1-2 weeks at best. If it takes longer than that, I hope you guys will understand. Not everyone's lives revolve around fanfic.

Thank you.