Pondbell: Coldblooded (Ongoing)

Caput Decem

To children, the world is a shared, profound adventure. We children could all agree that the sound of rain and thunder was an epic battle between God and whatever evil forces may try to attack us. Rainbows were magical, and that hypothesis was just as conceivable as the idea of Santa.

Our starry-eyed fantasies were so widespread among my peers and me that I would sometimes forget that our realities differed substantially. When I first realized that my classmate's daddies didn't also scream obscenities at their moms, I didn't dare bring it up to my mommy and daddy. I realized at a young age that a bad grade for my classmates meant them being grounded or no games for them for a day or two. For me, it meant I'd be getting my knuckles popped with Mom's ruler, and Dad wouldn't stop yelling at me until I cried. Those nights, they'd make me study until I physically couldn't support my tired little head. Most times, I was shaken awake and promised sleep when I was able to complete a section with no errors. My cluelessness, Jemina's leadership, and Jarrah's apathy would all be honed, shaping us into the adults we are today.

My small Texas hometown of summertime barbeques and blazing heat was less of a safe haven and more of a bubble. It was a quaint place where the sunsets brought out the lightning bugs, and you couldn't get too far without spotting a fruit tree just begging you to rest at its roots while taking a bite from the most unbelievably succulent fruit you've ever tasted. We hadn't had any communication with any of the Other-Americans. We'd only heard about them through stereotypes and movie portrayals. That's how, from a young age, I understood humans had a hard time when it came to seemingly inconsequential things such as accepting other races or even people with different backgrounds, so when it came to accepting unknown species, societal views were really tested.

Despite the yelling and hitting I'd been forced to take on, I wasn't scared of saying what was on my mind. Even at such a young age, I knew that my opinions and integrity would be respected. At least, that's what I got taught at school. And while my parents hated this, my big sister always stepped in to support and protect me, even if it meant she'd have to take the blows I'd otherwise crumble from.

Given that both Mom and Dad practically lived at work, they left Jemina to cook and clean after us most of the time. At only thirteen, Jemina walked us home, reheated the food mom had prepared while we were at school, showered us, tutored us, and entertained us with television or board games. When Mom got back home, we knew this was the signal for us to retreat to bed. She would peek into our rooms, tuck us in, and oftentimes not speak a single word to us. While Jemina played mom for us, her performance in school suffered greatly. When she was in 11th grade, she started "seeing," or that's what she would say, a great guy she'd known for years; they'd even sneak into the house to be together when they knew Mom and Dad were away. Jemina knew I never did mind much, even though he was taking up most of her attention. He was nice enough to let me watch the action movies he'd bring over while they cooked for Jarrah and I.

Jarrah, our middle brother, also had a troubled childhood. He was in the same grade as Jemina due to her being held back a grade. We all used to get along so well, especially while Mom and Dad were away. We ate almost every meal together, laughed at nonsense, and told each other everything. We grew more distant as we got older and began making friends outside the house. Jarrah was the first to start distancing himself from us. He didn't have many friends and would just lock himself in his room and study. Jemina would still make sure he got a plate of food, and I would watch the days fly by through my bedroom window. My friends would go to the skate rinks and arcades, but I was made to live my life on a track. My interactions with people who weren't family were limited to monitored phone calls and school. I enjoyed watching the streets from my window; not much happened on my street, and this was reassuring as this meant I wasn't missing out on much. I was in my own world, and our parents even let up on us a little; it was peaceful for a while. We all began discovering who we were; everyone seemed content, and the house started to feel like home, up until Jarrah made an unconscionable revelation. No one knew about it, not even me. This day would forever be etched in my mind as the day our family truly broke in half.