Solitary Affection | Philautia

Chapter 1

"My baby's getting married already," I dramatically said as I watched my unico hijo try the suit he's gonna wear for his wedding. I was sitting on one of the boutique's long sofa, with my legs crossed, my hand — holding a purse on my thigh.

"Kung makabuntong hininga ka ay parang kukunin na s'ya ni San Pedro, Ria!" Laughter came from my side. I lazily looked at the owner of the voice and glared at my friend.

"You would never understand my feelings, Maria," She continued laughing. "Of course you won't ! Hindi ka pa nanay tulad ko, but once you become a mother and witness your child getting married, you'll understand me.."

"Oh Lord, wag ako! Hindi keri ng petchay ko ang mag-ire ng isang tao! Gaga!" Natatawang aniya at tumingin sa inaanak n'ya na kausap ang designer.

"Pero oo nga, nakakasad man 'to," She admitted when looking at my son. "Parang kailan lang ay pinipilit pa niyang maglakad papunta sa'kin gamit ang mga maliliit n'yang paa,"

"See? Pati ikaw na ninang lang ay nalulungkot na. Paano pa kaya ako na nanay n'ya na?" I whispered.

"Pero infairness ah, lumaking gwapo ang inaanak ko! Mabait at masunurin pa sa ina!" Nakangiting aniya na naging dahilan para ngumiti naman ako.

"Yeah..." I uttered, "He grew up well... and I'm proud to say that I was the one who took care of him," while his father was away.

"Naks, ikaw na talaga Philyria! Believe na kami nina Marjorie sa'yo!" Maria smiled at nodded at my son when he turned to look at us, giving us a thumbs up as if asking if the coat he's wearing is okay.

"Pero nakakaloka pa'rin ang ginawa mo sa buhay ng anak mo dati, gaga ka," She shook her head and disappointed flashes through her eyes. I lowered my gaze and clutched my purse tighter after memories of what transpired three years ago appeared on my mind.

"Sinong nanay ba naman ang aalukin ng sampung milyon ang jowa ng anak n'ya para lang layuan ito? Edi ikaw lang! Ms. Overprotective Philyria Agnes De Natividad! Kaloka ka mars, mabuti na lang talaga na mahal ka ni Andrius, kung hindi, aba... Ewan ko na lang kung saan kita makikita sa susunod!"

I bit my lower lips. "I did that impulsively, okay? I wasn't sane that year. Natatakot lang ako na baka may mangyaring masama sa nag iisang anak ko."

"Heh, kahit na! Tingnan mo, sa ginawa mo, nataguan na ng anak itong inaanak ko..." Sumikip ang dibdib ko ng maalala ang apo ko nung una naming pagkikita. He was dirty, his clothes were messy, and from his stature, it was evident that he's malnourished.

Three years... in that three years, I was confused as to what happened to Fiona. I clearly gave her ten million, in which she accepted the money. But what happened to her for her to reached that point? When we went to the place they lived for two years, I saw the woman my son loves in darkness.. She was so thin that I once thought that she'll be dead once the wind hit her. Andrius — my son, became angry when knowing that I was the reason why she got to that point.

Nang dinala namin si Fiona at si Caelan sa ospital, nalaman namin na parehong malnourished ang mag ina. Caelan had asthma because his lungs weren't developed well, nalaman namin na premature ipinanganak si Caelan sa ilalim ng tulay. Fiona... we then knew that she had heart disease and giving birth to Caelan alone made it worse. She almost died.. and it was the reason why my son hated me for months.

I deserves his hatred. It was my fault. I also hated myself from doing that. Due to my own selfish reason, I broke my son's happiness with the love of his life. Not giving him the chance to witness his son's first everything. I took his happiness for my own. I deprived him off the rights to his family... and his hatred is justifiable.