Stare Into The Abyss

Chapter 9: Connected?

I been putting off uploading this chapter cuz I was busy.

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Flashes burned her eyes. Her eyes fluttered but she didn't wake up. She saw Charlie in potions class, a dark cave-like place with the Black family crest and a hallway of deep, burnt-black brimstone and Voldemort on his throne.

A gentle hand shook her shoulder and she shot right up in her bed. A nurse was looming over her, looking concerned.

"Are you all right? That looked like a pretty bad dream you were having."

It took a moment before the words registered and she realised where she was. Her head felt like someone had stuffed cotton up her nose and into her brain, while her eyes were heavy and crusted.

"It's fine," She breathes out and closes her eyes to convince herself that it was, in fact, fine, "I get dreams like that all the time."

She looked around the room, assuring herself that the nurse was the only one there with her. still, she felt watched, like there was something with them in the room that made her instincts scream danger! at her.

"You sure you're okay?" The nurse asks, sceptical as she watches the girl's eyes dart around the room, looking like she thought something was about to attack them.

"Fine." She bites out. Her head isn't clearing up and she doesn't know why. Normally her magic would have taken care of it by now. She reached out to that place in her that was always bustling with energy. It was there, but weak. It startled her how low her magic reserves were. Apparently the venom had taken a lot more out of her as she had expected.

It wouldn't be enough to apparate, or maybe even unlock the door.

It was a startling realisation to know just how vulnerable she is right now. If someone found she would not be able to protect herself at all. Her limbs were heavy and stiff, she had no idea if she could even get up and walk, let alone run. For the first time ever, she could not protect herself and was dependant on the people around her to keep her safe. It was terrifying.

Where was Severus? She wanted him here. He could and would protect her.

But he was.

He was protecting her by staying away. His magical signature would be easy to track whereas hers was barely there at the moment. She knew this. And yet, she desperately wanted to have him near her.

The nurse was still watching her intently, and Jay quickly wiped any and all emotion from her face. Apparently it was the wrong thing to do because the nurse just looked even more worried when she did that. She knew it sometimes unnerved people how she could force down everything she was feeling in a heartbeat. Neville had called it 'parking it' just putting everything going on in a box and temporarily pretending it didn't happen and everything was okay.

Neville said it was probably unhealthy. Jay countered that dying because you couldn't concentrate was probably more unhealthy.

"I brought you some dinner." The nurse said and put a tray in front of her. "Are you going to be all right with eating it?"

She frowned at her arms. They felt like noodles but she was hungry. It was just that eating had felt like a chore lately and eating at a table with Voldemort where people were occasionally tortured to death during dinner was enough to kill anyone's appetite.

"The doctor will be in in a moment." She informed Jay.

Jay nodded absentminded. She moved her hands to the fork and snorted when she saw the thing was made of plastic, as was the spoon and knife that came with the meal. She's confused for a second before she remembers that the muggles thought she tried to top herself.