Burning For You - Evan Buckley

Chapter Five - Closer

It was around midday. The day was slow which made it easier to get consumed in thoughts. Beau, had a lot to think about recently. From the reoccurring nightmares and more frequent flashbacks. To the upcoming anniversary of her mother's death and still not knowing if Chimney would wake up. It was beginning to get overwhelming. Life always had a funny way of throwing things at you all at once, didn't it?

And of course people have noticed the sudden change in demeanor. Especially Buck, he was the first to notice something was off. He noticed from the moment he first saw her earlier today. She looked tired, like she didn't get even a minute of sleep. Again. It seemed to be becoming a regular thing recently. She wasn't her normal, friendly self. Definitely seemed more closed off and quiet, like she was always deep in thought about something.

So, when he caught her by herself in the kitchen, he did his best in convince himself to walk over to her and just ask how she's doing. He walked over to where she was standing by the coffee pot as she fixed one of her many cups of coffee that she felt she needed just just to get through the day. "Hey," was what Buck broke the ice with. Beau looked over at him, giving him a short smile before giving him a hey in return.

Buck thought to himself for a moment, mind going blank on how to ask her if she's doing okay. "How have you been?" His tone sounded worried.

Beau wasn't sure on how to respond. She wanted to come out and say what's been eating at her for the past few days, but everyone already had so much on their plate to worry about. She hesitated, but she finally answered, "I've been okay, I guess."

He didn't like that answer, because anyone could tell that she was lying and holding back how she really felt. Buck wasn't normally one to butt into people's lives, but Beau was different. She had already helped him tremendously in the short time that they've know each other. He wanted to return the favor, but he couldn't if she wasn't honest. Buck sighed softly, "You and I both know that's not the truth. I can tell something's wrong, Marće. You've been too quiet and you look like you haven't had a good nights sleep in about a week."

Beau gave him a shocked expression, not expecting him to be so forward. It was almost kind of nice though, someone paying attention enough to call her out on her bullshit. It had been a long time since someone had done that. "That obvious, huh?" She sighed softly as Buck just nodded his head in response. She continued, "You're right. Something is wrong, but it's nothing new and that I haven't dealt with before. I'll be fine."

"You can talk to me, you know? You said it yourself, we need to look out for each other." Buck was persistent, that much was for sure. Beau was still unsure about exactly how much she wanted to open up about, how much she was willing to revisit.

"Okay, fine." She sighed, sipping her coffee before setting it back down, "You know the story I told you about breaking my leg? The helicopter crash?" Once Buck nodded his head, she continued, "I didn't go into exactly how awful that night was. When I woke up the plane was on fire, I couldn't see anything but smoke and I couldn't move, I couldn't even scream for help because every breath felt like I was inhaling fire. I only made it out because my friend came back for me, he refused to leave me behind. He got us all out that night."

Beau could feel her eyes filling with tears, not taking a moment to look over at Buck's face knowing seeing his pitiful expression would really bring her down, "For the longest time, I had nightmares every night about it. I'd go for days without sleep, too scared to even try. I would have times when everything is fine and one little thing would trigger me and I'd be right back there, stuck in that burning plane."

She finally looked over at Buck, he was soaking in every word she said. His heart ached as he watched that painful expression on her face grow, like this was the first time she'd opened up about this in a while, "I thought I was getting better. It has been months since I had a nightmare. But, about a week ago me and my sister watched a movie, it was just a fucking movie, and it set me off again. There was a brief scene with a helicopter crash. Can you believe that, a movie?"