Unable To Love

Chapter 1- Meet The Family

I've never had to perfect life, infect my family is probably the strangest in town. Many family's have comforting mothers, and fathers, brothers and sisters that you would tease, but still make it noticed that you love them dearly on special accessions, but I do not. I have a comforting mother, but a irresponsible father who acted like a teenager when he wanted to, like coming home drunk, or running away from his responsibilities. My sister Avery and I have a tight bond, but Isabelle always finds time to boss me around (even though i'm older), and call me names when not necessary. Love. Love, is a word that is rare in are family, either it was never there or it slowly disappears over time. Men and women make a commitment to each other in there vows of marriage but somehow its always broken. I protect myself inside the walls of my home, only going outside for important errands ,and school, afraid that a man will break his commitments he has promised to keep to me. Love is a powerful emotion yet it is taken away to quickly from us. I am not only unable to love, but afraid to love.

Looking down at my math homework I groan. Why do I have to do this again? Oh right, grades and blah blah blah. Feeling distracted by my disturbing thoughts i turn up the volume of the music that is being blasted into my ears by two tiny ears peices.Humming to the song I tape my foot on my soft cream colored carpet to the beat. Spinning around in my work chair I bob my head even though it is better used in a higher more aggressive song. I belt out the lyrics to 'Nobody Love' by Tori Kelly." I should be more cynical and tell myself it's not okay

To feel this good when I'm with you

I try my best to fight it, say I hate you but I always stay

Woah, woah, woah cause" I sing loudly as I jump onto my bed and dance around."Ain't nobody love, ain't nobody love like you do

Ain't nobody love, ain't nobody love like you-oo-oo-oo do

Ain't nobody love, ain't nobody love like you do

Ain't nobody love, ain't nobody love like you-oo-oo-oo doEverybody's talking 'bout the next thing

Feel like what they got ain't good enough

But all I wanna do is release the tension

Bring the conversation back to us

I should be more cynical and tell myself it's not okay

(To feel this good when I'm with you)

I try my best to fight it, say I hate you but I always stay

Woah, woah, woah cause..."

"Ok... maybe this is a bad time" I here a familiar voice startling me. I slowly turn my head to meet a pair of amused eyes. I groan and flop down on my bed wiping my dark black hair out of my face to look at my sister. Could this get any more humiliating?

"Mom told me to bring this up to you" Avery says holding up my princess bra smirking. Ok so maybe it could get worse.

"Isabelle!" I yell to my other sister a couple doors down from my room feeling angered and humiliated.

"I told you to throw my bra out! Not put it in the washer you little devil!" I yell. Realization hit me very hard and my eyes widened. Mom is going to kill me.

"Please tell me mom is already on her way to work?" I ask hopefully as my sister shoots me a wide evil smile.

"Ashlyn!" My mother yells. I hear footsteps getting louder and louder as she stalks up the stairs to the seconds floor.

"I thought you loved that bra, you picked it out" she says as she gets closer and closer to her destination, which is sadly my room.

"Um, no I said 'eh its ok' then you decided to buy it!" I say rolling my eyes.

" Dammit I thought princesses were the new style in high school these days, I saw a couple crop tops with Ariel on them" She says frowning as she entered my personal space. I mentally slapped my face. Actually no I really did. I groan and rub the red mark forming on my forehead.

"Mom! Those supposable 'crop tops' are baby shirts meant for 1 year olds!" I say exasperated. An unusual noise is made from Avery and I turn my vision to see her trying very hard not to bust out laughing. I glare at her as I stomp my way over to them, shoving my family members out my door.

"Very nice seeing you today" I say as I slam the door shut.

 "I'll probably speak to you in about an hour when my phone dies, and i'm forced to socialize!" Sitting back in my seat I start y first math problem

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"So, how was your day" My dad asks me and my sisters as we sit at yet again another awkward dinner with clinking of are utensils to break the silence.

"I got an 'A' on one of my tests" Isabelle says not looking up from her plate as she plays with her food.

"Good" My dad mumbles

"Ashlyn? What about you?" He says.

"Hmm, I got a boyfriend today" I say with a fake grin on my face. Avery snorts.

"Really? Do you actually think we would believe that?" She says.

"Avery! Dont be rude." my mom says scolding her.

"So whats his name?"

"His name is Ian"I say.

"He is my new turtle." I try holding in my laugh but it comes out anyway. Did my mom seriously believe I actually had a boyfriend?

"Please tell me this disgusting creature is outside and not in are home?" Isabelle asks.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night" I snicker. Picking up my plate I walk over to the garbage and empty what is left from dinner.

"See you tomorrow!" I yell as I head toward my room. About to step on the stairs I stop hearing my name being called.

"Ashlyn!" Avery yells for the second time as she walks into view from around the corner.

" I am totally going to bomb my test tomorrow, could you help me?" She asks fluttering her eyelashes.

" I hope you don't mean cheat because I am not dying my hair brown and getting hazel contacts to look like you" I say giving her a knowing look. She groans and mutters a curse then walks away. I roll my eyes and begin my journey up the stairs. Walking in, I plop myself onto my bed, dreading the next day to come.

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Hey guys! I am terribly sorry for the short and bad chapter. I lost internet access and I had to hurry and finish. Chapter 2 is half way done! May be posted tomorrow or a little later.