Author Note

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I never liked Steve Rogers, he was too stiff and reminiscent of his past and too righteous and patriotic. I was always Team Ironman.

But as I've been writing these MCU fanfics I've been thinking a lot about Steve and what he had to give up. He did so much, he gave up so much and really wouldn't it ruin a person never being able to love, having to live your life in service?

The world needed him but what did Steve need?

A quick content warning, this story explores and discusses heavy themes of suicidal thoughts, violence, PTSD, references of death and war/crime, mental illness, sex and explicit language.

This is a dark Steve fic so if you prefer your Captain America vanilla and living his happily ever after in the fifties with Peggy then this is not the story for you.

Happy reading!

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