Same Time Next Year

Chapter 13 - Year 3

"Are you sure you don't want to go out tonight? There's a bar I think you would like just a few blocks away. We could walk there." Chloe suggested. When she noticed my face after she mentioned walking, she tried to keep a straight face. That didn't last long before she burst out laughing at me. "Don't tell me I wore the mighty Flynn out today?"

"I'm fine but I'm not moving from this spot." I was sprawled out on her couch after Chloe tried to take me to see basically everything in New York my second day there.

"You've only been done playing football for a few months and already so out of shape you can't walk around a bit?"  Chloe teased.

We had done a lot of walking and although I could have handled a little more, I was ready for a quiet night in.  So instead of the bar she had planned to take me to, we decided to stay in with a couple bottles of wine.

It had been far too long since Chloe and I had spent time together like this and we had talked about everything going on in our lives. Well, almost everything. I thought Chloe understood how much I did not want to talk about Elle. But, once one of the bottles was gone, Chloe apparently decided she had given me enough time to forget my problems and decided to bring up my relationship again by asking, "Do you want to talk about it?  About what happened between you two?"

"Not really.  I'm not even sure I understand how it happened. . ."  I stopped for a minute, pouring myself more wine and staring at it as I swirled it in the glass.  Chloe knew Elle and I had been fighting for awhile after the holidays but I never got into the details with her.  At first, it was just small annoyances and arguments that I didn't think were a big enough deal, then by the time we had the big one, it was too raw, I didn't want to talk about it.  Later, I refused to let myself think about it.  Finally, I made myself continue, "It was my fault.  I was frustrated, we both were. On top of that I was exhausted and stressed and I said something horrible to her, and we both went with it from there. Everything we had been ignoring and sweeping under the rug for months exploded on one phone call. And even though I was so mad about all of it, I thought for sure we would get over it the next time we talked. But then we never talked."  I ran my fingers through my hair and took another drink and went on, "Elle was so worried about not naming our relationship.  It didn't matter though.  Apparently, we didn't have to be in an actual relationship to break up."

Chloe scooted closer to me on the couch and put an arm around me. "I can't imagine what you would have said to Elle that was so terrible. What was it?"

I ignored Chloe's question. If we were going to get into this, we were going to start from the beginning. We weren't going to start with my comment. Chloe needed the context, if there was any chance of her understanding where I was coming from. I knew how bad it sounded.  "She was trying to keep me at arms length, like she had been doing ever since we saw each at Christmas. And I was so confused because everything had been amazing between us at Christmas. I mean, my Mom straight up asked about what was going on between us, she was so excited that it seemed like we were together again.  Even my Dad brought Elle's name up on a call with me and he never picks up on anything. I was pushing more and more for her to admit we were in an actual relationship, that she had feelings for me more than just a weekend fling in the summer. And I couldn't figure out why she was so hesitant. What reason did she really have for not wanting to be with me, not wanting anyone important to us to know? So, maybe I pushed a little too hard. Maybe I questioned her about whether or not there was someone else one too many times. It was the only reason that made any sense to me. Regardless, by that last phone call, we were both tired of rehashing the same issues over and over, without ever really working them out. We would both drop a comment or question here or there but then would change the subject or back off before we ever started fighting or working through anything. It was like we both wanted to ignore what we knew was causing the distance between us to grow even farther than the actual 3,000 miles between us."