Jupiter

C H A P T E R|| t e n

I would never fall in love again until I found her,
I would never fall unless it's you
I fall into.

E l l i e

He was already sat on the porch when I trudged up the stairs. A guitar sitting in his hands. I imagined this is what he would do almost every night. Sit, and play, and sit, and play. Joel was a sucker for guitar, still, after all this time. If it wasn't for Jupiter and his persistence, I would've never learned to play myself.

"Hey." My voice didn't sound like my own as I spoke, I sounded weak, pathetic.

Joel smiled softly as he looked up,"Hey." His movements were jerky as he moved the guitar away from his lap, sitting it on the wood decking next to where he sat,"all partied out?"

A small scoff made its way past my lips,"Enough to last a lifetime." I told him. Joel stood then, taking a few tentative steps forward until his forearms pressed against the porch railing. I copied him, leaving a noticeable gap between us. Then I frowned, nodding to his hands,"what's in that?" I asked, staring at the cup occupying his palms.

He chuckled lightheartedly,"Coffee."

"Where'd you get it?"

"Cassie found some for me a couple weeks back on a supply run." He told me, looking down at the black liquid sitting in his cup,"S'not bad."

I wanted to say something else. Anything else. I nodded instead, staring off into the darkness of the night. I had left Jupiter standing out there in the cold. She had looked so sad, so sorry and so immune. All this time, there she was. Bitten and alive, like me. Just like me, and she had absolutely no idea, still. Now I was the one lying and all I did was walk away from her. I needed to tell her. I wanted to tell her.

"Joel." I said quietly, finally turning to face him,"What would you do if you were keeping something from someone-,"

"Tell her." Joel said, hand coming up to rub at his beard,"You tell her everything you're afraid to say." He told me, furrowing his brows in thought,"if you don't, you'll lose her." I didn't ask how he knew who I was talking about. Or why I was asking him but I appreciated his words nonetheless. More than I had in the past two years, that was for sure. Before I could speak Joel had already started again,"Jupiter. Is she– is she your girlfriend?"

I lifted a hand to wipe at my nose absentmindedly, the chill in the air causing it to go numb and tingly. Is she your girlfriend? I wasn't sure how to answer, or if I should've said anything at all in the first place. It's complicated I wanted to say. In truth, I didn't even know if I could call Jupiter and I friends at this point. We were merely just existing in the same town, the same cabin. All with the same luck– which in reality felt like all the luck in the world.