Wren:*walking down the hall* Okay it says here I'm supposed to brief these new Lights on what's going on here. Never really done this before but I never got the introduction and I turned out alright as a guardian. So let's see how I do.
The doors slide open and Wren nearly drops the data pad he was holding at the sight of the New Lights
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Wren: Oh sweet fucking Jesus...*sigh* The Traveler is getting weirder by the day..okay! Welcome New Lights to the Last City. Uhh before we go on with anything I have to tell you all something that's off with your armors. Ahem! YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR GOD DAMN MIND GUARDIANS!! WHERE ARE YOUR HELMETS!?
Anne: W-we weren't given any!
Wren: Weren't given any? No! The truth is, you've all LOST a very important and very EXPENSIVE piece of standard issue Vanguard equipment! And that helmet is gonna come out of your PAY!
Yang: We get paid!
Wren: DID I ASK FOR YOU TO OPEN YOUR COCK SUCKING MOUTH MAGGOT!? DID I ASK!!? NO? GOOD! Now thanks to your little friend here you will ALL run 30 laps around the Cosmodrome while everyone in the tower watches it broadcasted LIVE! And guess what? You will then remain in debt to this Vanguard until you are *deep inhale* FIIIIIVE HUNDRED AND TEN YEARS OLD!! Because that will be how long it will take for all of you to pay for new helmets!! NOW DON'T COME BACK HERE UNTIL YOU KILLED A VEX OVER MIND AND ARE WEARING YOUR GOD DAMN HELMETS!! DISMISSED!! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! I AM NOT AFRAID TO SHOOT YOU IN THE ASSES GUARDIANS!!!
All of the new recruits ran out the door screaming in terror from Wren who crossed his arms in satisfaction
