Drunk

Superman and Bat-Drunk-man

Clark groaned as his phone rang. He felt too lazy to get up to attend the call. He was enjoying the cup of coffee as he watched the TV just fine.

He half heartedly stood up from the couch and walked to his phone. It was from the Wayne Manor.

What does Bruce want?

"Hey Bruce"

"Master Kent"

Clark blinked at the voice of Alfred. He clearly was expecting Bruce on the other side.

"Alfred?"

"I assume you are not so busy, Sir?"

"No, no. Anything wrong? Where's Bruce?" Clark couldn't help but sound worried. It was unlikely of anyone in the Wayne family to contact him unless necessary.

"Actually, that's the reason I am making this call, Sir. Master Bruce went out on patrol and I am afraid he is drunk"

Clark felt himself shrink. A drunk Batman left loose on the crazy streets of Gotham? That could be worse than the Joker.

"I'm on my way, Alfred" He hung up and sped to his room to grab his suit. He quickly got into his costume and sped out of the window. Then he flew back in, remembering he had forgotten to turn off the television and flew back out after he made sure everything was good, at the speed of light.

•••

Clark reached Gotham in the blink of an eye and started to look for any sign of his drunk bestie. It wasn't hard.

Clark noticed the batmobile revving through the roads with some loud metal music playing from within. It screeched to a stop after doing a double-donut and Batman jumped out of it with his hands on the air and cape flying everywhere.

Damn, that cape was long.

Clark flew down to Bruce and tried to approach him silently, only to jump upon surprise when Batman turned at him suddenly.

"Dooon't you sneak on me, Suupeermaaan" Batman said (sang) with an evil smirk as he held up a finger accusingly at Superman.

Clark was honestly spooked out by the sight.

"Batman... Why don't you call it a night and let me take you home?" Clark asked with extra caution, slowly taking a step forward.

"Oh my God, Watch out, Supes!" Batman suddenly yelled and pointed behind Superman.

Out of instinct, Superman turned back with his eyes narrow. But he soon realised his mistake when he found nothing behind him. When he turned back, the drunk vigilante was long gone.

Clark cursed under his breath and narrowed his eyes to scan the area using his x-ray vision. After a few precious minutes of scanning, Superman managed to spot the guy. He was hiding behind a crate on a dock, giggling.

When he looked closer, he found out that Batman was actually hiding from a bunch of drug dealers who stood a few feets away from the crate he was hiding behind. He looked like he was ready to jump onto them at any moment.

Oh no, Batman is in no condition to fight them.

Clark wasn't wrong. Batman jumped right into the crowd of goons when they walked close enough, singing "Nananana Batmaann!"

Superman tried to go help Batman out. He fkew in and knocked out almost all of the goons. Almost.

•••

Batman swept a man off of his legs and he threw a batarang at another.

"Guess who has the coolest gadgets in the universe...... BATMAAANNN!" He yelled as he held a goon at arms length and knocked him out with an uppercut.

Superman should have seen that coming. But he didn't. A knife made its way into Batman's abdomen as he tried to punch a guy in the face.

"Oouchie!"

"Batman!" Superman rushed to his side as Batman fell to the floor.

"Hey stay still, buddy. I'll carry you to the cave"

"I don't need he-hrgh-lp" Batman grunted as he pulled the knife out. "I am b'tm'n" he managed to blurt out as darkness filled his eyes.