Caitlyn & Vi: The Void to Fill (an Arcane Season 2 Story)

Insanity

An entry from Jinx Journal...

Dear fuckin' journal, doc says this will be cathartic. Ugh whatever I've got nothing else to do or lose so fine...

I hated Vi and Caitlyn. Vi betrayed me in so many ways. She left me when I needed her the most. I didn't mean to kill our family. I was scared and broken. I was just a little weak girl. I felt my mind and everything I had known crumble around me. I latched onto Silco - the strongest person there and he fought for me.

How could you leave? You said we'd stick together - liar!

I wanted you to stay with me - fight for me! Instead you walked away. I know now you were kept from me now and in pain but I couldn't see that for so long. I did everything to look out for myself. And sister I mean everything...

I was determined to survive even if it killed me. I was determined to make you, Vi, feel every pain I was feeling.

Caitlyn is an easy person to hate. You left me again for her! What do you see in her? She's a fucking top sider who's taking you away from me. She took you and right when I had just gotten you back! Part of me could see she was trying to help, and the other wanted to slaughter her for it. I decided it was better to have her feel every bit violated as I had been rather than kill her. To make you see everything I could do to destroy her. To destroy you.

When I accidently killed Silco I determined that's just who I am. I embraced Jinx and shoved Powder's innocence away. There was clarity now. I heard the voices in my head pulling every last string and I snapped. I knew I held all the dice and I took it. I hated all of you. You all were liars. I had killed my last family I had made.

Vi was no longer my sister. She made her choice to be with the top siders, so I made mine to take everything from her...

I wanted to watch them suffer everyone. To feel every loss like I had, let them see what they could have had and then take it all away. I retreated to just observe all their grief after that. I loved seeing them suffering it made me feel again. But in the same light Powder tried to bring me down for all my sins. I kept struggling to maintain control and justify everything I had done in my life. But she kept pulling me into guilt and I kept pushing myself into darkness.

I finally resolved the best course of action was for Vi to kill me. That would be my ultimate revenge on her and haunt her for her entire life in the worst possible way. And I couldn't live with all these demons in my head any longer. I stepped back and let her hit me. I thought she'd kill me. Oh I wanted her to!

Sitting here in this asylum, being forced to live with all of this has me clearly thinking for one of the first times in my life. I'm trying to let go of spite and maybe even repent for some of these sins. I don't expect to be forgiven for them.

I still can't stand Caitlyn though, that Slut!...

I know she's FuCkkkin my sister! Makes me sick gross!!! (Vomiting monkey doodle).