Back Home || Luca x Alberto

Chapter 14 ~ A Secret

Alberto's POV

My heart beat became louder than my thoughts even when I had no idea what she was talking about. The way she said it. I knew it was bad. I rubbed my eyes as if I'd just woken up to keep the act going. 

"What are you talking about Giulia?" I scoffed as if I wasn't terrified.

"The whole town-" she took a moment to breathe. It looked like she had ran.

"They're talking about you and Luca" she whispered aggressively.

My face fell. I stared at her trying my hardest not to cry. My throat felt like it was closing.

I looked over at Luca who met my eyes blankly. 

"What-" I cleared my throat.

"What are they saying about us" I asked angrily.

"Well, they're calling you a finocchio" she said.

"I'm sorry" she continued. 

"No. Um...excuse me" I got up and left the room. I heard Luca call my name but I couldn't turn back. I needed space. I couldn't be in this house anymore. I didn't know where to go. I put on a hoodie and left. I kept my head low. I didn't want anyone to see me. I walked and walked. The further I walked, the more I wanted to cry. The look on all these people. Their murmuring. 

I wanted to disappear. 

I didn't care where I went. I just knew I didn't want to be there.

I reached the shore. I looked out to the sea. 

It's been a while huh?

I hadn't given it much thought but I rarely went in the water anymore. Last time I swam it was with Luca. When he first got here. When I thought everything was gonna be ok. When he told me about Mariana.

I lost all control of myself. Tears started to flow out. I fell to my knees. I clutched at my chest. 

I sobbed on the cold rocks. Where Luca first transformed.

I was at the brink of screams. Everything reminded me of him. 

He doesn't know how I feel. He never will. I can never tell him. People will always judge. Everything was fine until they ruined it. Until she ruined it because she was jealous. I mean of course she's jealous. It's Luca. He's perfect. He's too perfect for me. I'd probably end up hurting him like I did before. I'm not good enough for him anyways. It's not like we'd ever be together. People like me can't end up with who they want. I'd have to settle for less than my soulmate. He who touched my heart in one summer. What I would to be able to hold him. To comfort him. To protect him. But I can't. No matter how much I love him, I can't. He makes me feel like no one has ever before. He makes fish swim in my stomach and makes my heart go fast and he makes me forget everything wrong with the world. I care more for him than I do myself.

However, I must keep it a secret.

I reached out in front of me and touched the ocean. I watched the tips of my fingers turn purple and scale-y. I stood up and took a step back. I ran into the open water. I transformed. Figuratively and literally. 

My heart felt heavy but my body was free. I could go wherever I wanted and no one would tell me anything. So, I swam and swam and swam. I finally felt like I could breathe.

I forgot why I had went there in the first place. My mind cleared and Luca was no longer the only thing I could think about. Nothing much here reminded me of him. We didn't spend much time underwater together. Now, I wish we did. However, at the time, I was glad we hadn't.

So much had changed. It didn't look like my home, it didn't feel like my home, but I liked it. It was much better than being on the surface. It was comforting.

I reached a nook on the side of a huge rock and decided to rest there for a bit. It was quiet and calm. I observed the water moving slowly along the seaweed. I felt my eyes slowly closing as my body got more relaxed. Soon I drifted off into sleep. 

---------------------

I was awoken by a familiar voice.

"Beto? Beto, are you okay?" I faintly heard.

I opened my eyes to find a shadow. His shadow.

"Beto?" he repeated.

I panicked when I realized. My first instinct was to back away.

"What are you doing here?" I said groggily.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I should've minded my own business. I'm sorry" he murmured with his head down.

He quickly turned around with a look of regret on his face.

"No. That's not what I meant, Luca" I responded.

"Then what do you mean, Alberto? Huh? I don't understand. Why can't you decide how you feel about me? Why can't you tell me how you feel? Why can't you stop playing with my feeling? One minute you're kissing me under the stars and the next you're running away from me. Is it embarrassing to like me? I'm so sick of it. I'm always there to try to make you feel better but when is it your turn? You always run away when you feel like it and leave me to face all out problems. It's not fucking fair." he complained with disgust.

I began shaking. I didn't know what to say. He was right and I hated it. I've hurt him so much without consideration.

I'm a monster.

I wanted to say so much in that moment. Everything crossed my mind.

I looked at him with pure shame. He looked angry. He was waiting for a response and I could feel his irritation with me.

I opened my mouth and nothing came out. I couldn't say anything no matter how much I wanted to. No matter how much I wanted to apologize. I felt sick. Sick of myself.

He scoffed as tears continued dripping down his face. 

I reached to wipe a tear of his cheek but he gently placed my arm back and turned around. He left and never came back.

I couldn't even cry. I felt something beyond sadness or fury. I didn't know how to express it.

As if I know how to express any other feelings.

I felt goosebumps and a sharp headache. I winced from the pain. I caught a glimpse of my hand and soon realized what was happening. I was transforming.

I really am a monster.

-------------------

A/N

GUYSSSSSS IM BACK!!!! I'm so sorry for abandoning you guys and idek if u guys still want to read this lmao but its here and i have a lot more inspiration. Please lmk if you guys want me to keep writing and are still interested in this story. Thank you for reading! If u liked please vote and as always comments are very much appreciated. Love you guys!