Snapshots

8. Richelle

It's lonelier at the top than Richelle anticipated.

She's always been somewhat of a lone wolf. Sure, she has lots of friends (namely, A-Troupe), but she only ever lets a very select few get close to her. By her logic, limiting the number of people close to her limits the distractions, and with her goals for the future and her professional career, there's no room for distractions.

In the end, going solo makes the most sense. She loves her team, but she thrives most on her own, and when the opportunity arises, well, she takes it. Never mind the fact that she wasn't technically invited to the audition. Never mind the fact that she was furious with Summer for doing the same thing a few months ago.

Summer was selfish. Richelle is kickstarting her career.

At least, that's what she tells herself when she boards the plane with an uncomfortable knot in the pit of her stomach that she's never felt before. That's what she tells herself when she runs into her team in the lobby of the hotel and realizes just how angry they are.

This will all be worth it. The guilt, the loneliness, the pain she's caused her friends. It has to be worth it.

She doesn't expect to miss them as much as she does. Being alone should give her time to focus and prepare for the competition, but it's hard to do that when she can hear her friends laughing and having fun together through the walls. A surge of longing unlike anything she's ever felt before surges through her, and she allows herself exactly ten seconds to ponder if maybe she made a mistake, acted too brashly, before pushing the thought aside.

Once the competition gets started, these feelings will go away. Once she's in the zone and focused on what matters most- winning- this terrible loneliness and longing for her friends will go away.

Except it doesn't.

She watches her team perform the dance she knows by heart on opening night and is so appalled by their performance, she can't even be bothered by Summer performing in her place. They receive harsh criticisms from the judges, and Richelle can tell by the looks on their faces that they're crushed. Her heart aches for them, but she also can't help wondering what in the ever-loving world happened. They weren't even that bad. They were good. But they can be so much better. She knows it because she's seen it, been a part of it.

She can't help thinking that if she had danced with them, if she hadn't thrown them all for a loop just 24 hours before, they would have easily moved on to the next round. But then she shoves that thought away. She'll never win as long as her mind is on something she chose to leave behind. This is her future now- Richelle against the world. It's just as it should be.

She wins the solo round easily, and it's not like she was nervous per se, but it's a relief to move on. Until it dawns on her that if A-Troupe win the Resurrection Round, she'll be competing against them in the finals. That's not a relief. That's just awkward.

It doesn't help that A-Troupe aren't forgiving towards her. She had clung to the hope that they would understand, that they would see she had done what she'd felt was right for her.

It makes her physically sick to her stomach when she realizes that this must be how Summer felt when they all turned their backs on her.

The worst part is that Richelle remembers that anger, that indignance that Summer could just leave them all hanging, that she could be so selfish. Now, she's just a hypocrite. A hypocrite who will be competing against her friends, the people who have been with her through thick and thin, in the finals.

She may be having some second thoughts.

There's no rhyme or reason as to why she sticks around at the Dancemania studio after the Resurrection Round is over. Even though most of the crew and competitors have left for the night and the building's empty, it somehow feels less lonely, less suffocating than her quiet hotel room.

She's wandering the halls, preoccupied with the impending finals and wishing Noah was here with her. He always knew exactly what to say in situations like this. He's like the personification of the voice of reason, and Richelle misses him dearly.

It's when she hears the music that she freezes, confused. Where is the music coming from? Who could possibly still be here this late at night?

Curiosity getting the better of her, she follows the music back to the soundstage and sneaks inside, staying hidden in the shadows. Finn is performing a dance for Piper as the rest of A-Troupe watch on, faces lit with giddiness. It's a grand gesture straight out of a ridiculously cheesy romcom, but it's cute, Richelle has to admit.

For the briefest moment, she thinks of Elliot and wonders if he would have ever done something like that for her, all while knowing the answer is no. In fact, if Elliot were here with her right now, watching this performance, he'd be scoffing up a storm and muttering about how Finn would never even make it past the first round of Broadway auditions.

But Broadway seems to be the farthest thing from Finn's mind.

No, it actually seems like Finn is trying to win Piper back, but Richelle has no idea why he would need to. Piper and Finn are one of those couples that you look at and just know that they'll be together forever. It's almost enough to make Richelle envious, to make her long for a relationship like that of her own. But settling down has never been a desire of hers. Dance is her first love. There's no room for anyone or anything else in her plans for the future.

As she watches the team mingle on the stage, Richelle has half a mind to step out of the shadows and attempt to apologize again. Maybe they'll be more willing to forgive her while still on a high from Finn's performance.

Instead, she turns and quietly leaves the studio behind. If her teammates are as upset with her as she once was with Summer, then she gets it. She doesn't like it, wishes things could be different, but she gets it.

She goes back to the hotel and takes a long shower, changes into her comfiest pajamas, and texts her parents goodnight. They're somewhere in Europe for a business trip, and despite their promises to tune into the show if they can, she has a feeling they haven't even thought about it once this week.

Just as she's about to climb into bed, she realizes she needs ice for her water, so she slips on her slippers and robe, grabs the ice bucket, and steps into the hall. The ice machine is just down the hallway. She fills her bucket as fast as she can, exhausted from the toil of the last few days. But as she's rounding the corner out of the utilities area, she freezes.

Piper and Finn are at the other end of the hall. Piper's leaning against the wall, a cardboard box clutched tightly in her arms, as Finn stands in front of her, his arm resting on the wall next to her head. He's murmuring something to her, and Piper blushes, turning her head away from him. They're both smiling softly, and Finn brushes a strand of hair out of her face before placing his fingers under her chin and turning her head back to him to kiss her softly.

It's a tender moment that's probably not meant to be witnessed by anyone else, and yet, here Richelle is, watching it anyway. It makes her happy in a way she doesn't totally understand to see two of her friends so in love.

High school relationships have always seemed kind of pointless because they rarely last. Distance or growth or life gets in the way, and most high school sweethearts end up strangers within a matter of years. But Richelle sincerely hopes that doesn't happen to Piper and Finn. It would be such a waste for a connection as strong as theirs.

As she returns to her hotel room, she reconsiders for the second time that night her stance on love and wonders for the first time since breaking up with Elliot if maybe there could be room for that in her life one day. It's possible, she supposes, but only for the right person.

If someone as driven and focused as Piper can find love without it changing the essence of who she is, then maybe Richelle shouldn't write it off just yet. It's a matter that only time will be able to tell.