I know yeah,
I know that I am not her,
The girl you've always been dreaming of,
The perfect view of a gentle lady with a high sense of humor, I'm just a loud noise maker,
I know I am not the girl you've always knelt down and prayed for,
I am not as beautiful as the barbie portrait you painted in your dream,
I know I am not the independent and confident girl you wished for,
I am very clingy and always want to get attached with you.
I know I am not the praying Hannah you crave for or the Rebecca of your dreams to be the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh,
I know I am far from her.
I know I am not the cute cool headed girl that would be simple like you, I like surprises, gifts, flowers, I like displays of love.
I am the one people told you to stay away from and that I'd cheat on you,
Infact I am that girl that people think is a distraction to you because I always want to be with you and I show too much love.
I know that I am not her,
She fixes her mind on one thing and doesn't think alot,
I am an extreme overthinker who would think every single word through,
I know for sure that I am not joyful and always happy like her,
I am mostly moody and always sad and then the only time I smile is when things go well with us.
She has always been fortunate in love but ever since I was born, I have never had anyone that loved me and wanted to be with me,
Everyone makes different promises with boxes wrapped with lies.
Everyone just leaves at some point, so you see why I have trust issues and she does not.
I am nothing like her, that I know.
People said I am beautiful and I deserve more, even though I don't see what they see, that isn't my fault.
It still felt like I was in my pains so beauty to me was incomplete,
Like having 5 heart beats with no reason to stand up.
She always feels butterflies in her belly around you, and I don't,
All I feel is the urge to feel loved, so you see that we're different.
Everything keeps going the wrong way, so I always leave myself with the question "who are you"
I've worn patience like a tailored suit but it keeps getting torn, because I have been in relationship with pain and pain had been faithful to me for years,
She keeps getting fixed with beautiful people who love her, I keep getting broken into pieces that wouldn't come together.
So you see that I am definitely not her
So I won't blame you if you don't want me too.
