Tragedy of lies

pov- jessica

POV- JESSICA.

We finally reach the river.
Clear water flows through the slopes up from the forest hill and took a turn which goes straight towards the other side of the forest. It washes over the big stones laying around, wet and slippery.
‘ doesn’t it look beautiful?’
‘ it does’ I reply.
The sound of the water flourishing is music to my ears, playing piano here will be absolute heaven.
My phone buzzes from my pocket, I take it out to find a message from noah.
Guess what? Jordan called, he’s tagging along tonight, with his girlfriend. Bring emma with you tonight.
The next message warms my heart, btw rahas and masud are dating,if you wanna know.
I knew it.
The way the dusky skinned boy looked at masud, with his smoky –in love- eyes. And how masud secretely smiled to himself.
Drake notices my smile, I realise as his brows rise in question. ‘ mind telling me?’
I wave off my hand,’ we are just gonna-hangout tonight. You wanna meet my friends?’
He smiles in return,’ I’m good’
I bite my lip,’ no socialising?’
‘ you’re enough for me’ he whispers. I look away, he laughs in return.
What now?
‘ did mia-
Drake cut me in between,’ I already told you jess. I don’t know anything. I just know her favourite colour was yellow, she liked singing sometimes, she was a very sweet yet a strong person. Was kind as hell. Anything else?’
My lashes flutter in my eyes as I Lower my eyelids,’ sorry. I just want to-
He sighs, walks towards me. it seems like he is questioning himself whether to get closer with me again or not.
He choses the latter, keeps his hands in his pocket,’ jessica ’
Emptiness clasps over me, I craved something. Whether it is his warmth or something else, I don’t know.
‘I’m sorry’ I whisper, embracing myself for what I’m about to say,’I’m sorry for earlier. I just pushed you away like that-i- I don’t know what to do. My feelings are messed up-
‘ feelings?’ he whispers, he is closer to me now,I realise as I stare at the honey eyes staring at mine.
I gulp down my spit,’ yes  I, whenever I start getting closer with someone, the universe snatches them away from me-“
What if its not the universe?
That voice speaks  to me again, my body shudders. Who-what is happening with me.
‘ are you allright?’
That voice- it happened twice now-
‘ hey’ I look back up to find him holding my face in his hands, out of his pocket now. ‘ something is wrong?’
That care in his eyes- how can someone feel this homely.
I shut my eyes and open them again. ‘ I was saying’ I whisper ‘ I’m sorry for earlier today.whenever I do anything like that, i feel- selfish. Like I’m not focusing enough that mia just died and-
He looks up and grunts, then says to me,’ look me in the eyes ’
I always do, I don’t say loud but instead nod.
‘ now listen’ he whispers, the chime of the rushing water behind him ringing after his words. ‘ mia is gone. She’s no longer alive’ his last words bring pain in my chest,’ she’s dead’
His vision is wholly fixed on me,’ and you can do nothing about it. you can what you can but that doesn’t mean you’ll stop living. Will mia be happy to find her friend always grappled by grief because of her?’
I almost whimper,’ but noah is doing his best and nobody is helping him so I feel like –
‘ noah isn’t depressed like you jess. He’s happy with his life but you? When the slightest of relief comes in your life, you’ll push it away?’
Depressed, so many people gave me that nickname. Emma, always sad about why I can’t chill a little, jess it makes me guilty that you ain’t even happy enough around me.since your mom died, I’m sorry-
The conversation had lasted with her hugging me and caressing my hair. she’d looked at me with care, with no judgement, with trust,
With love.
But at the end of the day, I’d still felt empty, mom wasn’t there to welcome me in her arms and play a song for me.
Since then, when have I felt- truly happy? Noah and emma always try their best, emma even offered such wonderful things she could do for me,but-
But I needed someone to understand.to relate.
Mia had been the one but she-
I look at the man holding my face, caressing it with his fingers. Patiently waiting for me to say something.
‘ I feel cold’ is all I manage to say. One more word and I might have a breakdown.
He hears me and immediately takes off his jacket, I didn’t want him to do that but ofcourse he will.  ‘ here’ he covers my shoulders with it, leaving it up to me to wear it fully. I’d expected some strong scent from his cloth like I do from noah’s.
But all I feel is warmth.
‘thanks’ I whisper again, sliding my arms through the jacket.
‘ you look good in my clothes’
‘ I do?’ I grinned,’ well- thanks for the compliment. I’ll remember it’
‘ you better do’ he didn’t smile too much this time, careful of his expression.as if he wants to convey something.
I ain’t a puzzle solver drake.
He smirks for what I guess the third time,’ sorry for the sudden staring at you but I can’t help it’
He sure will rise my ego ‘ ah- thanks again I guess’
he reaches his pocket and pulls out the yellow feather , ‘ lets see if yellow matches with black’ he arranges the feather at the back of my ear, using my hair as a support,’  black hair plus yellow father and also add my dedication on arranging it equals to pure beauty’
I bark out a laugh,’ you’re impossible drake’
He nods in pride,’ I know’