Tragedy of lies

chapter-22

When I knock at my bestfriend’s door. Nobody answers.
Its too late when I realise its locked.
Where are you emma.
I call noah, he has to tell me what truth kobe was talking about, I can’t wait no more.
He picks up at once, I just stand outside emma’s house. I’ll wait till she comes back home.
I walk and sit outside her door.
“ you okay jess? Need anything? I’m here-“
“ tell me what kobe was talking about” I ignore all his caring words.
I’m welcomed by silence on the phone, it makes me furious. There has been too much of hidden things, I don’t want more.
“ just tell me noah” my voice cracks again, “ I don’t want to deal with figuring things out again “
A sigh sounds on the phone, then noah unfolds the truth.
“ your dad- it is regarding the de-“ he takes a breathe, “ the death- i- can’t we talk in person?”
“ if its so hard for you to talk it on phone, how will you talk in person?”
He doesn’t answer for a minute, then continues , “okay”
“ your dad’s death, it wasn’t a murder. It was a” he pauses, “ a suicide’
I don’t answer.
“ the knife had reversehandgrip on it, your dad- he- killed himself”
My visions starts blurring.
“ jessica?”
My dad killed himself.
But why.
“ do you want me to come- are you okay? Jessic-“
“ I’ll talk to you later” is all I say before hanging up.
I hold my phone tight, my palms are sweaty, my mouth feels dry.
Should I go back home and read the letter he left behind?
I cover my eyes with my palms, I don’t feel like living.
I hear footsteps, when I look up, I find her.
Blue eyed, straight haired emma. by the look of her, I realise she hasn’t slept either.
She’s astonished to see me, “ Jessica?” but she hides her surprise and moves aside, instructing me to come inside.
But I don’t move an inch, “ why did you lie?” I mumble, standing up.
She just stares at me.
“ don’t act like you don’t know “ rage finally overcomes me. she KNEW drake wasn’t there. She knew. “ why did you pretend to know that drake was there.” I take a breathe before continuing, “ that he existed “
And this is when- her cover shatters. Shock, grief,guilt- I see everything on the face of my bestfriend. The way how her lips form a line, the way her pupils dilate, how her brows furrow,how she forms a fist.
And how she doesn’t answer my question.
“I’m asking you something!” I shake her shoulders, my face feels hot and my eyes feel dry.” Answer ME!”
She doesn’t. instead, she moves outside and gets inside her car.
Its too late when I realise what she’s trying to do.
She is trying to run away from me.
I run after her car but soon run out of breathe. I then get back inside my car and follow her.

She speedens, I press hard on the accelator too. In no time, we are on the highway. It is mostly empty this early in the morning, I keep following her. she’s moving towards the mountain cliffs.
She goes there when she doesn’t know what to do.
The fog is too much, the rain has left puddles everywhere. One of us might die with the speed we’re travelling with.
I shout as hard as I can, beep the horn of my car as loud as I can.
She takes a turn to the right, I do too but my car tilts too much and I almost break the rearview mirror, I almost crash the car onto the side.
I take control again and focus, on following her. I need to be careful, there’s traffic appearing now.  Red light appears and she has to stop but instead of waiting, she parks her car onto a random street and walks towards the mountains.
I do the same.
She starts jogging when she realizes I’m still following her.
I follow her till my legs feel like giving up. The cliff is too high, there’s not even a single soul nearby. Just me and her.
“ ANSWER ME EMMA!” I keep shouting.
But she’s vanished among the greenery, among the mountain cliffs.
“ ANSWER ME!”I keep screaming and it howls.
But I find her, nearby a tree. I hold her arm and pull her near me. “ why did you pretend that emma? why are you running away from me ?”
She doesn’t answer.
“ I’m going to kill myself if you don’t answer “
My words shock her, she doesn’t hide her expression this time. “ I truly am “ I say again .
“ you’re kidding “ she tries to laugh but fails at it.
“ do you think I’m kidding?” I hold her arm so tight that she winces in pain, “ my father committed suicide-“
“ I know. I was there “ she whispers.
“ What “
She removes my grip from her, “ I saw with my own eyes. He stabbed himself”
I slap her, her face doesn’t move.
“ you were there when my father was being killed – and you did NOTHING?”
She doesn’t express anything, if I’d slapped too hard, she doesn’t let it show, “ i- I couldn’t stop him”
“ you know something which I don’t emma “ I start, “ if you’re not going to tell me, I might as well kill myself. I have nothing left now “
She looks at me , her blue iris dilating, “ please-“
I see a glint of emotions on her face.
I walk towards the end of the cliff.
I don’t know if I’ll die or not- but I know for sure, I will bring the secrets out from her tongue. I ask for the last time, “ why did you pretend to see drake “
When she still doesn’t answer, I try to put my foot forward.
She pleads, then finally says, “ cause I HAD NO OTHER CHOICE “
I turn back to face her, “ tell me. “
The emotions all occupy her face.
I stand in the fog as she unfolds the chain of secrets.

“ I knew- you were schizophrenic from the start. When your mom had died-“ she looks away at that, “ I knew you were suffering from hell and i- felt guilty about it. i- Jessica- you’ll never forgive me-“
I tell her to continue.
Her throat bobs as she states, “ it was because of me that your mother died- she’d gone to buy something for  me. and she died” she sobs, “ I blame myself for her death, Jessica. I-I didn’t want to lose you, I was on drugs jess-
“ drugs? “ I say, hardly able to digest what she just said. I’m not angry that she was careless, I am angry that she didn’t tell me. hid it from me.
Her eyes are watery, “ I think-“ she closes her eyes, “ you need to know about what happened to me in the past -