Feral | ✓

FERAL: chapter thirty-nine

"Are you sure you're okay?"

A smile falls onto my face and my grip on Onyx's hand tightens. This was the fifth time he had asked that same question since we had left the hospital. After staying one more night to be monitored, they discharged us this morning. While nothing appeared to be wrong with either of us, Onyx was still hesitant to believe that I was actually alright.

"I'm okay," I assure him.

Silence follows and he stops walking. "Are you sur-"

"Onyx," I cut him off and turn towards him. My hands move to the sides of his face and I stare into his hazel eyes. "I'm okay, Love."

His mouth opens once again before he closes it and nods. I offer him one last smile before we continue to walk back towards the house.

The building comes into sight and my smile grows as we walk up towards it.

It felt good to be home.

Home.

I never thought I'd miss the place as much as I did. Before I met Onyx, I barely spent anytime in the lonely building but now, I couldn't wait to be back.

To be able to sleep in my own bed.

I still wasn't at one-hundred percent but I was much better than I had been in a while. Unlocking the door, I made my way inside and took a look around the place.

Everything still looked the same way it did before, only now Onyx's scent was everywhere and I loved it.

Turning around, I pull him closer to me. Onyx smiles and leans forward before connecting our lips.

"Welcome home."

I take his hand into my own and walk throughout the house. My eyes look at everything and when we reach the bedroom, I immediately fall backwards onto the bed.

"This," I turn to Onyx. "Is one of the things I missed the most."

"One of? What's the others?"

My grin grows. "Real food."

Onyx shakes his head at me before taking a seat on the bed beside me. "I missed having you here. It was lonely without you."

I knew that feeling better than anyone else.

Sitting up, I pull him closer to me. "Well, I'm back now and not going anywhere else."

He smiles at that and leans against me. My eyes drift over to his neck- more specifically, the area where my mark would eventually go and I smile at the thought. Onyx and I were still learning about each other and we weren't in a rush to complete our bond anytime soon but the idea of him wearing my mark has my wolf growling in delight.

"I heard you shifted," I say to Onyx.

His eyes light up and he sits up before turning to me with a smile.

"Yeah, I was able to shift to and from my wolf!" His smile drops slightly. "Issue is, I haven't been able to feel him since the hospital."

I frown slightly at that. "He's probably still weak, how about tomorrow you and I go out and see if we can get him to come forward?" I suggest.

Onyx nods. "I like that idea."

...

"You know how to shift?"

Onyx nods at my question and part of me is disappointed that I hadn't been here when he first managed to do so. Every time I saw Onyx's wolf, he had been "feral" and when he saw my wolf either he wasn't able to shift or I had also gone feral. We never had a moment where the both of us were able to shift and not crazy.

"Let's give it a shot," I tell him.

Onyx eyes close as he tries to pull his wolf forward and mine do the same. Unlike Onyx, I had been able to feel my wolf. Part of me was worried about shifting though. I was afraid that even if I did manage to shift then my wolf would end up going crazy. I knew Doctor Heights had said nothing was wrong with me but the worry was still there.

Come on, Gaius. You got this.

Taking a deep breath, I feel around for my wolf and when I locate him, I begin to pull him forward. I can feel him begin to take control and the memories of the dead wolves flash through my mind. My body tenses up and I push him away.

I couldn't do it.

When I open my eyes, I notice that Onyx had managed to shift and was staring at me with a worried expression. I try to smile but it looks more like a grimace.

Onyx shifts back and moves to get dressed before coming towards me. "We don't have to do this."

I hated that.

I knew he was worried about me and wanted me to feel safe but it felt like I was holding him back and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine, let's do this."

I move to try again but Onyx's hand touches my arm and he moves so that we are staring at each other.

"Gai, it's okay."

"It isn't!" I snap.

Onyx flinches at my tone and a wave of guilt ran through me.

"I'm sorr-"

Onyx moves and pulls me into a hug. My body tenses up for a minute before relaxing and a frown falls onto my face.

"It's okay," Onyx assures me.

"It isn't though," I sigh. "There's so much you haven't been able to do and still can't because of me."

He frowns at that. "Gaius, you just got back from being kidnapped and drugged. If you were all peaches and rainbows, I'd be even more worried about you."

"Still."

He shakes his head. "The only thing that matters to me right now is that you're safe. We still have our whole lives to explore."

I know his words hold truth to them but it doesn't stop me from feeling like I was letting him down.

"Besides," Onyx starts. "There are many things other than shifting that we can do. I still haven't actually explored the pack. There's so much of it I still haven't seen."

That was true. When he first came, he had practically been under house arrest. When he shifted, we were still dealing with the council and I doubted he'd gone to "explore" after I went missing.

The pack was a beautiful place and growing up within it, I never really realized that until I got older. When we were younger, we took its beauty for granted.

"How about I take you on a tour?"

Onyx nods. "I'd like that."

The two of us stand and begin to walk back towards the house to shower before heading out.

We may not have gotten to shift but it was still going to be a good day.

I was determined to make sure of it.