Feral | ✓

FERAL: chapter forty

I'm tired of white rooms.

After getting discharged from the hospital, I definitely wasn't making any plans to go back soon but Quinn had other plans.

As I was showing Onyx around, we ran into Everest and the two began to talk. I didn't realize just how close they had managed to get but it made me happy that Onyx was making friends. We had originally planned to go to the pack house and eat since I still needed to go grocery shopping but Quinn linked me just before we could leave.

"Gaius," Quinn linked.

"Luna? Is everything okay?" I asked worriedly.

"Everything's fine it's just...it's Gray," she says. "He hasn't come home since last night. I know he's at the hospital but I worry about him. Will you go see him? He doesn't want Layne to go there and I know he'd benefit from seeing you."

Part of me wanted to say no but I also knew that if she linked me then she was desperate. Onyx stared at me confusedly and I sighed quietly before turning to him.

"I have to go and see Gray, why don't you hang out with Everest?" I suggest.

Onyx shakes his head. "I'll go with you."

"I'll be right back," I tell him.

Onyx looks like he wants to argue but Everest throws an arm over his shoulder.

"Come on, let's head to the pack house, then you can show me your wolf again and maybe a little race," he grins.

Onyx stares at me for a minute before nodding to Everest. I know he wants to stay with me but I also know that Gray was a very closed off person and wouldn't want him there.

Onyx moves towards me and pulls me into a hug. "Be safe."

"Always," I promise.

I watch as he leaves with Everest and smile when I see him laugh. Once they're out of sight, I make my way to the pack hospital.

When I arrive, I stare at the building with a newfound hatred before making my way inside. After talking to the receptionist, I make my way towards Cloud's room where I was sure Gray had to be. If he didn't go home to Quinn then I knew he'd be here.

Sure enough, when I reach the room and knock on the door. Foster opens it and I see Gray sitting beside the bed Cloud laid unmoving within. His head was dropped so I couldn't see his face but I could tell just from his body language that he wasn't doing well.

I knew that Gray struggled with mental health in the past and while he was doing much better now, I still worried about him. So did Quinn and Foster.

Without saying anything, I lean against the wall beside the door and stare up at the ceiling. If Gray wanted to talk, he'd initiate the conversation.

The three of us sat there in silence, the only sounds came from Cloud's heart monitor.

"...Do you remember the day he went missing?" Gray asks nobody in particular.

I remembered the day clearly. I remember Dad bursting into my room and yelling at me to get my ass up and come help with the search, I remember Gray being a mess but trying to keep himself together, I remember the previous alpha standing there calm as ever.

We were out there all day and night searching for anything that could lead us to him.

We never found anything.

"We argued right before he went missing," Gray lets out a dry laugh. "He wanted me to help him train and I was so focused on myself that I couldn't even do that."

"You had your own issues going on, Gray," Foster reminds him.

"If I had just taken the time to...I don't know, talk to him? Be there for him? None of this would've happened," he snaps. "He asked me for help and I fucking yelled at him."

"Gray-"

"-I don't even remember what all was said but I remember the last thing I told him. Do you know what that was?" He looks up and I can see the glass-like look in his eyes. "I called him a fucking bastard."

Tears fall from Gray's eyes and I momentarily freeze. Gray never cried in front of anyone, it had been one of the rules his Dad taught him from a young age. Don't show emotion; it makes you weak.

This was the first time I had seen him so broken. Even after Cloud disappeared, he never broke down in front of me.

Unlike me, Foster didn't falter at the sight of Gray's tears. He stood from where he had been leaning against the wall and moved towards Gray and pulled him close.

"You can't beat yourself up, Gray."

"He disappeared because of me! He lost years of his life because of me! How can I not beat myself up over that?!" Gray snaps.

"You were drowned in your own problems at the time also!"

"Not an excuse!"

"No, but a reason!"

The two stare at each other and I finally move towards them.

"What ate you going to do if he wakes up?" I ask Gray. "Are you still going to be focused on everything you did wrong?"

"If he wakes up," Gray sighs.

"Talking like that isn't going help," Foster tells him.

"You should follow your own advice," I say. "When Cloud wakes up, he's going to need his brother. You wanna be there for him, right? Then start making it up to him. Be apart of his life now."

Gray frowns at my words and Foster places a hand on his shoulder.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Gray."

Gray nods and I notice that he isn't crying anymore.

"Now, the next issue at hand is your mate. I know that both her and your daughter would love it if you went home to them."

Gray smiles slightly as he stands up and makes his way towards the door. Foster follows behind him and I do the same.

Halfway across the room, I look back one more time and stop. My brows furrow and I turn around before moving back towards the bed and when I get there, it feels as if my heart's stopped.

"Gai, you okay?" Foster calls out.

"Get back in here," I tell them quietly.

"What?"

"Get back in here," I repeat.

"Why?" Gray questions.

My eyes remain glued to the bed. I slowly look up, positive that I must be dreaming. But when I do so, I realize that I'm not. Mismatched eyes stare blankly at me.

"He's awake," I tell them. "Cloud's awake."