Stages of Grief ~ BUCKY BARNES/WINTERWIDOW

Second Phase: Anger

"Emotion breaks out with anger. For those in the mourner's immediate vicinity, this is the hardest thing to bear because emotions radiate to everyone. The mourner looks for the responsible, sometimes they are angry with the deceased, although they do not admit it. They may also blame themselves for the death, in which case they will be full of guilt, especially if they have not maintained a great relationship with the deceased. Many get stuck in this phase and appear depressed, but this is not because of the suppression of pain, but because they are unable to think of anything else. After the funeral, they seem to be alternating a variety of emotional states uncontrollably, such as relief, anger, sadness, fear, guilt, depression, etc. In many cases, physical symptoms can also occur as loss of appetite, insomnia, weakness, dizziness, chest pains, and digestive problems. "

The dry lawn was dusting under Clint's footsteps as he moved away from the pit, which was next to the black coffin waiting for its final placement.

"You!" He pointed at Bucky, his face distorted and his veiled eyes stared at Steve's friend, standing next to the Captain. "How you dare come here?"

Bucky didn't answer. He just watched, looking at the black coffin with the well-known red symbol on top. The sign that once meant her, Natasha.

"I asked something!" Clint pushed hard against Bucky's chest, and he stepped back, not falling. His body trembled with withheld anger.

"I didn't mean to..." He uttered out with great difficulty. The Avengers were watching him, some with an accusing gaze, some with a sympathetic one. But he did not ask for their pity.

"Sure." Clint breathed sharply. "You didn't mean to ... Still, look where you 'not meaning got' us!"

"I can see that very well!" He lashed out. He felt Steve's palm on his shoulder but slipped out of the soothing touch. He wanted to rampage. "And I didn't want it to happen, yet it still did!"

"You couldn't look out for her!"

Bucky grabbed Clint by the collar of his shirt.

"Maybe." He hissed irritatedly. "But at least I tried. And where were you? Where? If you were so scared for her why didn't you go with her?!"

Clint listened intently, his tangled hair hanging into his eyes, which were full of pain and a desire to turn the wheels of time back. But his pupils had grown full of rage.

Bucky loosened his hold on the other man. "Any time I would have sacrificed myself for her ... I covered her body with my own when the building collapsed, I took her to the quinjet, I wanted to save her, but I couldn't do anything. At least I tried to... " He closed his eyes tightly to hold back a few tears threatening to fall, then let Steven lead him to the coffin.

He caught Tony's accusatory gaze and Peter's sorry but confused face. Spider-Man barely knew the Black Widow... T'Challa waved at him briefly as Shuri rubbed her eyes emotionally as she stood beside her brother. She felt Bucky's pain. Vision stared stubbornly at him, just the concept of death was hard to process for his mind. Will it also happen to him? Wanda sniffed but didn't cry. She had already let her tears fall at her brother's funeral. Rhodey, with an expressionless face, stood next to Sharon, watching Steve's every move.

Bucky saw these people first out of the crowd. Of course, there were more of them.

Matt Murdock sat on one of the branches of the tree stretching above them, his shoulders shaking gently as he sobbed. He was Natasha's love too. Before or after Clint, Bucky didn't know.

Nick Fury was among the bereaved people with Maria Hill by his side.

Bucky collected himself and focused on the black coffin. Natasha, Natasha, Nat... He imagined a lifeless face in the dark. The thought made him feel nauseous.

"Can I see her?" He asked, muttering.

"What?" Steve leaned closer to him.

"Can I see her?"

The Captain looked around in disbelief. The second question was heard by everyone, but no one objected.

"Yeah." He replied softly.

Bucky stepped closer to the coffin and carefully lifted its top. He gasped painfully.

Natasha was beautiful. Her hair was spread out in pure curls, her face radiating peace. There were incurable wounds on her lips and forehead, which someone had tried to cover with a little makeup, but had failed.

"She is soo beautiful..." Bucky shivered. "Even now."

He stayed with his lover, even during a long series of speeches. He took her hand in his. As if it mattered... But it didn't. He received only oblique glances for his loyalty to death. He felt disoriented, missing a very important piece in his soul that he could never get back.

"Mr Barnes?" The priest tried to draw his attention. "We need to ground the dead."

"Yeah. I ..." He staggered backwards, closing the coffin's black cover. "Sorry."

Wanda stepped in beside him. Around her hand red beams of energy circled as she lifted the coffin and lowered it into the womb of the earth.

"You can throw the first handful of land on it." Wanda said, then added: "No one says otherwise. Not even Clint."

Bucky nodded. He took a handful of dirt from the pile next to the grave. Natasha was gone forever...